A New Life
by MrsDash
Summary: Told through the point of view of Todds therapist. Todd Manning has moved to Port Charles and is beginning his new life. Meeting his new therapist, she changes his life. Still fighting old demons and finding trouble at every turn.
1. Chapter 1

I am a psychiatrist, Dr. Dee Dunning and I came to GH to practice after Dr. Ewen Keenan passed away. A wealthy news paper mogul named Todd Manning became my patient after a court order was handed to him. In order to maintain his freedom after his murder trial, he had to receive therapy for his PTSD resulting from eight years of imprisonment and torture. Although he was very reluctant and would not cooperate, eventually he began to relax. After many sessions, he revealed so many secrets. I found myself horrified yet so attracted to him. I knew the love of his life is his ex-wife Blair and that he is becoming closer to Carly Jacks. I don't want this, I want him for myself. I gain his trust completely, which is not easy for Mr. Manning. Like the ghost of his dead mother Irene, I begin to play with his mind. I find myself telling him that Blair and Carly are toxic for him. I become everything he wants and needs, and one day it happens, he walks into my office and locks the door. I ask innocently, but what about Blair and Carly? He takes me in his arms and right before he kisses me he says, Blair and Carly who? I've done it and as we embrace a smile brushes across my lips.

One late afternoon as Todd is driving home from one our therapy sessions, he pulls out his cell phone to make a call to The Sun. He drops it. He fumbles around trying to reach it, but to no avail. He decides to pull over before he wrecks. Evening is falling and the sunlight is fading fast. As he sits there parked on the side of the road, he finally reaches his cell. He looks up, as he is ready to dial, he notices another car a few feet in front of him. A young blonde is standing beside the car. The hood is up. She notices Todds car and starts walking towards it. Then out of no where, another car comes screeching by, swerving and hits this young girl. Todd can't believe his eyes and sits there stunned. The car stops. He watches as another girl with short brown hair emerges. She runs to the side of the blonde laying there unconscious. She kneels beside her and then happens to look up and see Todds car. Todds headlights are on and she shields the light from her eyes. She can not see him, but Todd can see her. She gets to her feet quickly and returns to her car, gets in and speeds away, leaving a cloud of dust. Todd sits there for a moment and gulps. He can't believe what he has just seen. He steps out of his car and rushes to the blondes side. She is hurt badly. There is a trickle of blood coming from her mouth. He doesn't move her. He begins to dial 911 and then decides against it. No, he thinks, I don't want this call traced back to me. He looks around, there is no one, no other traffic. He gets back in his car, looking through his windshield at the girl laying in the road, spotlighted by his headlights. He starts his car, backs up and turns around. Looking around desperately, he finally spots a phone. He stops, gets out and calls for help. Sir, can you give us your name? Just get to her now, she's hurt badly, he yells and he hangs up. He gets back into his car and drives off. Finally in the parking garage of The Metro Court, he sits in his car for a few minutes. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He then picks up his cell and clicks on photos. There it is, a picture of the brown haired girl kneeling over the blonde. And on the piece of paper, the make and model of the hit and run drivers car and her license plate number. He rushes up to his office and gets on the computer, and then calls a contact he has at the PCPD. Some one Todd pays handsomely for information on big cases, all essential for scoops by The Sun. His contact runs the license info and relays it back to Todd. He gets an address, but just as he is about to get her full name, his lead editor Jacob Turner walks in. Uh yeah, says Todd into the phone, I'm not getting any hot water in my suite and I am not fond of cold showers. I'm paying big bucks here, you'd think I'd get hot water. See that you get that fixed or heads will roll. He hangs up. So Sorry Mr. Manning, says Jacob, I thought you were still out and I was just dropping off some possible photo spreads for you to look over. Great says Todd, as he takes them from him, I'll look them over, have a good night. But I wasn't leaving yet, says Jacob. Oh well then, says Todd walking past him and out out of the door, then I guess I'll have a good night. Once in his suite, he reads the paper with info on the brown haired girl. He knows where she lives, but all he got before he was interrupted by Jacob, was this girls first name, Moon.

The next morning, as Todd is having his breakfast and watching the morning news, the story of a hit and run victim is being read. Todd sits there frozen. He hears that she is in critical condition. There were no witnesses and an anonymous caller reported the incident. Police are still trying to determine if the caller may in fact be the driver that hit Lulu Spencer Falconeri. That's her name, thinks Todd. That poor girl is named Lulu. Well, I think I am going to have to pay this Moon person a visit. After showering and dressing, Todd is exiting the elevator when he sees Carly speaking with Johnny Zacharra. She stands there speaking softly to him with a smile on her face. Johnny reaches up and touches her hair and smiles. Todd snarls as he watches them. He shrugs and says under his breath, go ahead and make all the goo goo eyes you want, but don't get too cozy Johnny. But as he is watching them, he thinks back to the kiss that we shared in my office. He has been thinking of me a lot lately and wondering what it would be like to actually do more than share a kiss. He looks again at Carly. Who do you want Todd, Carly or Dee, he thinks to himself. What I do know for sure is that Johnny can't have Carly, he can't be happy if I'm not. Especially since he killed my granddaughter. Todd turns and leaves and drives off to find the brown haired hit and run driver.

Knocking at her door, Todd is getting impatient. Finally the door opens, it is chained and he sees her. The girl with the short brown hair. She looks at him, who are you, what do you want? Tell me Miss, do you subscribe to The Sun? She looks at him with a frown. I don't read that rag, she says. Rag, exclaims Todd, The Sun is not a rag. Sure it is, says the girl and I am not interested. As she is about to shut the door, Todd stops it hard with his hand. She is surprised and frightened, stop or I'll call the police. Go ahead says Todd, then I can tell them about a certain girl that hit another girl last night and left her on the side of the road to die. Her mouth is open and eyes wide. Who are you, she asks with a trembling voice. I'm Todd Manning, publisher of The Sun and I think you and I need to talk. She unchains the door and Todd pushes his way in and shuts the door himself. Todd looks around, nice place, he says, if you like living in a shoe box. How do you know it was me that hit that girl? Todd spins around and flashes his cell phone at her. The color drains from her face as she sees the photo. There she is, kneeling over the girl as she lays bleeding and broken. It was you in that car parked up the road, she says. Yes it was, replies Todd. So why didn't you help her, asks a scared Moon. Who do you think called 911, he says. So maybe the police will think you did it, says Moon, they can trace the call back to your phone. Todd smiles, oh no, I didn't call with my phone. Then how, she asks. Todd looks at this girl and can't believe it. Okay, he says, I know you're young and all, but there is still a thing called a pay phone, you do know what those are don't you? Although, he continues, you don't actually have to pay when calling 911. What do you want, interrupts the girl nervously. I'm glad you asked that because there is something I want from you. But you don't even know me, she says. I know enough, I know where you live, that you almost killed someone, oh and that your name is Moon. He snickers, Moon, really? I mean what were your parents thinking? I'll bet they were big time hippies, huh? She watches him, she doesn't know him, but she hates him already. Oh, I don't know, she says, what the hell kind of name is Todd? Todds smile disappears, he looks at her, touche' Moon, touche'. So tell me what you want, she says. Todd flashes a little grin at her, let's just say if you don't want me to turn you into the police, then you have to do something for me. She looks at him, steps back and grips the front of her robe tightly, making sure she is covered. Oh my god, she says, you don't want me to sleep with you. Todd looks at her with surprise. What? Oh hell no, are you nuts, you are so not my type. Then what, she shouts. I don't want you to sleep with me, but I do want you to sleep with some one else. She stands there, her heart beating so hard and fast. You will sleep with a man named Johnny Zacchara. Why, she asks. Because, he took someone very precious to me and now he is trying to take someone else from me. Who, says Moon as she is shaking. A friend, he answers, and I don't want them together. You do this and you won't end up in prison, and with your face all over the front of my rag, he says sarcastically. Do we have an agreement, or do I call the cops, he says holding his cell half way to his ear. She is hesitating. Tick, tock, says Todd as he brings the phone closer and closer to his ear. Still, she does not answer. Todd begins pressing the buttons, saying the numbers aloud. Nine...one... Stop, shouts Moon, I'll do it. Todd, lowers the phone and smiles, good girl. He gives her the information on Johnny, how and where to find him. How will I go about this, asks Moon, her voice trembling. That my little hit and run friend, is your problem, answers Todd, use your feminine wiles, you just get him into bed even if you have to drug him, I don't care, just do it. I could just say that I did it, says Moon, how would you even know? Todd looks at her, are you serious? How can someone so pretty, be so dumb? Oh wait, he says, you did leave someone by the side of the road, not very smart. He gets in her face, you are going to tape your night of passion and then bring the proof to me, understand? She nods, still clutching her robe closed tightly as she begins to cry. I don't want to hear from you until this is done and don't even try to run, because I will find you, says Todd, and for goodness sake, don't cry, I hate it when women cry. He walks past her and out, slamming the door behind him. Moon stands there trembling and crying. Can I do this, she thinks. Yes, I have to, because it all means one thing to me. My freedom.


	2. Chapter 2

After a few weeks have passed, Todd finds himself lost in thought. He has been getting a little closer to Carly. But is she really the one I want, he thinks. Then his mind drifts to me. He smiles to himself. He thinks of our first kiss. Since then we have made love, which was not easy for him. His issues with intimacy were one of the matters discussed in therapy, but once he let himself go, there didn't seem to be a trace of any issues. He hadn't got that far with Carly and was now not sure at all he ever wanted to. It was never like him to see two women at once. He thinks back to doing serious flirting with other women, all in an effort to make Blair jealous and it always worked. But he and Blair are over and he is moving on. No, Carly is not the one, but it's too late. That girl Moon is working on Johnny and there is no turning back. Johnny doesn't deserve Carly anyway, he doesn't deserve anything for what he did to my Starr by killing her daughter and Cole. Carly is my friend and she deserves better. He shuts his eyes, I think I'll give my lovely therapist a call. He dials me, saying it is an emergency, he needs to talk, can I come to his office at The Sun. Clearing the rest of my schedule, I rush to Todds office, thinking he is in crisis. Once upstairs, I am about to knock on his office door when it opens and Todd pulls me in. He closes the door, but we don't notice that it is not shut completely. What is it Todd, what's wrong? Nothing that you can't fix, he says. He is dangerously close. I push him back, Todd, I thought you needed to talk? It was a lie, he says, remember, we talked about that, I'm a liar. I can't do this, I have to go, I say. No, he says, don't go, I really do need you, only not to talk. He has my hand in his, I turn to face him and that's all it takes. I look into his eyes and then our lips meet. Before I know it, he is laying me across the top of his desk and even though what I am doing is wrong, at this moment it feels so very right. Lost in each other, not noticing the door is slightly open, there stands Moon. She had arrived to deliver the proof of her night with Johnny. She watches for a moment and then turns her face away. You call me dumb? Not so smart Mr. Manning, she thinks, I know that is your therapist. I did some digging too. She is about to snap a picture of us with her cell, when she hears the office phone ring. Shit, exclaims Todd. It continues to ring. Todd reaches over yanking the phone from it's connection and tosses it across the room. We continue our activities without missing a beat. Hearing the phone crash to the floor, Moon is frightened. She races into the elevator, missing her opportunity to hold something over Mr. Manning.

The next day, Todd decides he wants to surprise me and take me out to lunch. Once at GH, he is making his way to the elevators when he spots Moon. What in the hell, he thinks. He walks quickly over to her, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to a quiet corner. Moon yanks her arm from his grasp. What the hell are you doing here, says an agitated Todd. I came to check on Lulu's condition but I found out that she's been released, she answers. Are you out of your freaking mind, says Todd. That's like returning to the scene of the crime, what is wrong with you? You're what's wrong with me, she answers. And besides, what the hell do you care if I get caught, it wouldn't matter to anyone especially to you. You're right says Todd, but you've got something I need, and after you deliver I don't care what happens to you, so what about it? You were supposed to come by my office remember? Oh yes, I remember, answers Moon, but you seemed to have forgotten our appointment because when I got to your office, you and your doctor were getting busy on your desk. Todd is surprised. Yes, I was there and saw the two of you going at it. Is that some new kind of therapy? I should just turn her in for making dirty house calls, how would you like that Mr. Manning? Todd smiles at her, do you have proof? She shrugs. No, she answers, in an almost hushed voice. I'm sorry, what was that, I didn't quite hear you, says Todd smugly while holding his hand to his ear. No, says Moon, I don't have proof. That's what I thought, says Todd. Lesson number one, always have proof if you're going to blackmail or threaten someone. Now, do you have what I want? Moon reaches in her bag and hands Todd an envelope. He tucks it inside his jacket, thank you Miss Moon what ever your last name is, it's been great doing business with you. Now get out of here before someone sees us, says Todd, I'm getting pissed off as it is that we had to make this exchange here. What exchange, says Moon, you didn't give me anything. Wow, exclaims Todd, you really are dumb, you're forgetting I've given you the most important thing of all. Your freedom. With that, Todd storms off, leaving Moon standing there, feeling disgusted with herself, hating Todd Manning, but at the same time, feeling relieved and free.

I am sitting in my office, I look at my watch. I have some time before my next appointment arrives. I decide to walk across the street from the hospital for a coffee. The Coffee at GH leaves something to be desired. But just as I am rounding the corner I see Todd. Why is he here? We don't have a session today. Then I notice he is having a very heated conversation with a young lady. Who is she, what's her name? I strain to hear, but all I pick up is the name Lulu. Who? I watch as this young lady hands Todd an envelope which he quickly tucks into his jacket and then he storms off angrily. This woman is standing there with a worried look on her face. Later that evening I decide to pay Todd a visit at his suite in The Metro Court. He has given me a pass key. I walk in and call out his name, no answer. Then I notice I hear the shower running. I glance over at his desk and see the envelope from earlier. What the hell is in it? I pick it up and open it, but clumsily drop it on the floor. As I am picking it up I hear a voice. What are you doing? Startled, I turn to find Todd standing there. Before I can answer, I find myself awestruck and speechless at this sight before me. He is standing dripping wet clutching a towel very low around his waist. His hair is slicked back and the water is glistening on his magnificent form. I shake my head, snap out of it Dee. I seemed to have bumped into the desk and this envelope fell off, I answer. He grabs it from my hand and quickly puts in the desk drawer and locks it. He puts the key in his jacket hanging on the coat rack. I turn away pretending not to notice. Important, I ask. Just something I am working on for The Sun, he answers. Is it about some one important? Oh you know, he says, just another person caught in a compromising position. Todd walks towards me, speaking of compromising positions, here I am standing in front of you in all my glory. He begins to unbutton my blouse. Whats say we get you out of these clothes and we can be glorious together. I am under his spell.

The next day I awaken to find Todd gone. I call out to him, again no answer. I find a note on his pillow, "I have gone out to get us some lunch, be back soon." Lunch? What the hell time is it? I glance at the clock on the night stand, 11:30 a.m.? Then I recall that Todd and I had not gotten much sleep the night before and I smile to myself. Then quickly I snap out of my reverie, now's my chance. I jump out of the bed naked and grab Todds shirt that is draped over a chair. I quickly button it and automatically am entranced by the smell of his cologne. No time for that. I find the key and unlock the desk retrieving the envelope. It's a DVD. I pop it in the player. What the Hell? I see the young woman Todd was with in the hall at GH. She is in bed with someone. He clearly seems to be disoriented. He could be drunk. As I look closer I seem to recognize his face. It couldn't be. Then I hear this mysterious woman say his name, Johnny. Why is Todd watching this? Is this a fetish he never mentioned in therapy? I put the DVD back just as I hear the door handle turning. I turn expecting to see Todd and who walks in? Carly Jacks.

She is just as surprised to see me as I am her. What in the hell are you doing here, I shout. I own this hotel, she answers. So that gives you the right to walk in to hotel guests rooms when ever you wish? That is totally inappropriate, I shout. You want to talk about inappropriate, she shouts back. You are Todd's doctor and here you are naked wearing his shirt. Jealous, I ask her teasingly. I think the Medical Ethics Board would love to know about this and I just might be the one to tell them about their slut therapist sleeping with patients, she shouts. You bitch, I yell. I lunge at her and as we are scuffling, pulling hair and punching, in walks Todd. WAIT! STOP!, he shouts. Carly and I stop long enough to watch Todd put down the bag he is carrying, he pulls out a chair and sits down. Please, he says with a giant grin on his face, you may continue, God knows I love a good cat fight. Carly and I both sound out in unison, shut up Todd. Carly points at him, I will talk to you later and storms out. The hell you will, I shout, and I slam the door behind her. As I stand facing the door breathing heavily, I am thinking, Carly will have to be dealt with. Just then I feel Todd come up behind me, he pulls his shirt slightly off my shoulder and kisses it. He turns me towards him. As I look up I see he is holding up a bag marked Kelly's Diner. He smiles big and bright and asks, BLT anyone?

I am sitting with Todd at the table, still angry, not hungry. I look up to see Todd eating his BLT like a prisoner on death row eating his last meal. He's all hands, the utensils are never touched. All part of his endearing charm. Are you still seeing Carly, I ask. Todd stops in mid chew, his cheeks bulging with food. He gulps and swallows hard. I told you it's over, it actually never began. Care to elaborate, I ask him. He wipes his mouth, and then speaks. At one time, he says we were getting close and at one point I thought we might...uh you know, but nothing ever happened. She got a call from that thug Johnny and ran to his waiting mobster arms. There was that name again, Johnny. Todd breaks my train of thought. Are you jealous of Carly, he asks with a big grin. Me, jealous of her, Hell NO! Yeah you are, he giggles. With that I get up from the table, I'm taking a shower, I have some errands to run. Todd says that he is heading to The Sun to do some work. As I am walking away I turn to him, maybe I should dye my hair blonde. Todd looks at me with a look of disgust, please no, the only blonde I ever want in my life is Starr, all other blondes are toxic. If you change that long raven hair of yours, well lets just say that I won't like you anymore. I laugh at that and toss my hair playfully. Todd leaves his suite before I do. He gives me a quick kiss goodbye. Once showered and dressed, I am heading out of the door of his suite when I glance at his desk and notice the drawer is slightly open. I back up and pull it completely open. I see that the DVD is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Todd has left and it is time to take care of my errand, to confront Carly once and for all. As I am heading towards her office, I see her talking to another girl. I hear her call her Lulu. I heard that name at the hospital between Todd and that mysterious woman. Then I see it. Carly is holding the envelope that Todd had locked in the drawer. What? I hear Carly speaking to this Lulu person. Todd just gave me this DVD and said that I needed to watch it, that's all he said and walked off, says Carly. They walk into her office and begin to watch. They have left the door ajar, so naturally I have to see what is going on. It is the DVD I had seen the night before. Carly starts to freak out, cursing and crying, all the while Lulu is trying to calm her, yet at the same time cursing Johnny as well. I back away around a corner as Carly storms out. I follow. In the lobby there stands the woman on the DVD and Johnny. Oh my God, it is him, I think to myself. I watch as Carly walks up to them, words are exchanged and Carly slaps this woman so hard it echos through the room. What is going on? Why doe's Todd want to break them up and why doe's he hate Johnny so much? Johnny, yes it was him, Johnny Zacchara. My mind is drifting, having a flashback. I can hear and feel loud thumping music. I can see the colored flashing lights. I can smell the stale cigarettes and liquor. I can see the faces of the men, their eyes leering at me. I shake my head, no I must not think of that, don't go back. I check the lobby, Johnny has gone, the mysterious woman is gone. I have to get out of here. As I am exiting the Metro Court I bump into a petite brunette so hard that she almost falls over before being caught by a dark haired man dressed all in black. Oh I'm so sorry, I apologize, are you alright? She answers, yes no harm done. She then looks at me and asks, aren't you Dr. Dunning? I am perplexed, who wants to know, I ask. I am Samantha McCall, P.I. and she shows me her credentials. She nods to the dark haired man, and this is Lt. John McBain, PCPD.

I had brushed off the P.I. and the Lt. But not before noticing that they both were staring at me as if studying me. Why? Finally home, I walk into my condo and throw my purse and keys on the floor in frustration. Where has the time gone, it is getting dark out. My mind drifts to Todd. Guilt washing over me. He had become my patient by court order. I know from his files about his troubled childhood, his abuse at the hands of his adoptive father, the rage he carried, the rape he committed in college, so many more awful things and lately his eight year imprisonment and torture. All this leading him to kill his twin brother. How was this man still functioning? He had revealed so much to me. At first it was all the way it should be in therapy, but somewhere in all this he became an obsession. I wanted him, I manipulated him and now I had him. I had crossed the line. He was still so troubled and full of self loathing and all I wanted to do was hold him and love him. Yes, love. I have fallen deeply in love with him. Just then there is a knock at my door. Well not just a knock, but knock knock knock knock knock knock knock. I know who it has to be. I open the door and there stands Todd leaning against the door jam still knocking at the air. He is smiling like the cat that has swallowed the canary. Something is making him happy. Was it the Carly and Johnny caper? I decide I don't want to know. I have had enough drama for the day. Why didn't you use your key, I ask. Oh you have such a lovely door I just felt like knocking on it tonight, and he walks in. He kisses me lightly on the lips and then proceeds to the bar to pour himself a scotch, always his drink of choice. He offers me one, but I decline, my mind is foggy enough. I walk out onto the terrace and look up at the beautiful moon. You know, Todd says as he walks up behind me, I don't get the fascination with the moon. It's just a rock hanging up there. He continues, and what about people that name their kids Moon, how lame is that? I look at Todd, what? The name Moon for a person, he says, it's ridiculous don't you agree? I don't know I answer, your daughter is named Starr, that isn't ridiculous. Damn right it's not, exclaims Todd. Stars are beautiful just like mine. Did you know Todd, the moon controls peoples behavior, I ask. Have you ever heard of lunatics? Todd laughs, yes I have Dee, I know all about lunatics because I am the biggest one of them all. That's why you're my therapist. He smiles at me and twirls his finger at his temple. I decide I don't want to analyze any of his rantings and walk back inside. What's wrong Dee, Todd asks with a softer concerned tone. Just have a lot on my mind, and I plop down on the couch and flick on the T.V. The local news is beginning. Lead story, Former mob boss and owner of The Haunted Star Night Club John Zacchara, shot. A suspect is in custody, the name is being withheld at this moment. Todd quickly whips out his cell and calls his editors at The Sun and begins his plans for the next edition. My head is spinning, Oh my God Johnny shot? I sit there stunned. After what seems like an eternity, Todd ends his call. He seems a little too up and happy for my comfort. Are you happy about this shooting, I ask. Of course not, he says, just about the great headline this is, hey business is business. He clicks off the T.V. and takes me by the hand. Lets forget about this mobster and business. Look, he says, my cell is off. He kisses me, this time deeply. I really need you tonight Dee, well every night. Before I know it, he is closing the bedroom door behind us.

I am startled out of my slumber. I sit up. I look to my right and see Todd on my bed and on his knees. I try to focus in the dark. Then I see that he has his hands tightly around his pillow as if choking someone. He is shouting in all his anger. You fucking son of a bitch, you killed my grand daughter and now I'm going to kill you, I'll kill you. His eyes are wide open and frenzied. Another nightmare, only this time different. Other times he would wake in cold sweats, recalling still being strapped to that chair, and screaming out in pain, being cut, being burned, being beaten, being injected and finally being electrocuted. I know not to force him out of this waking nightmare, I just call his name softly, Todd. He looks over at me, but not seeing me. I have dealt with patients going through this before and have stood stead fast trying to help them, never afraid. But Todd is truly frightening me. He turns back towards the pillow and releases his grip and collapses onto the bed. His breathing begins to steady. I call his name again. This time he responds. What happened, he asks, with a look of desperation on his face. You had another nightmare, I answer with concern. He is sweating and I brush his hair off his forehead. I'll get you a cold cloth. As I try to get up, Todd grabs my wrist so hard and forceful that I wince in pain. No don't go, don't go, he pleads. He releases my wrist, oh my God, he says, I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't worry, I lie, you didn't. It takes some time, but he eventually falls asleep, but I never do. Questions, so many questions. Who was he trying to kill? And this person killed his grand baby Hope? The next morning Todd is up early as usual, on the phone with The Sun following up on Johnny Zacharra's shooting. Functioning as if nothing had happened the night before. Was he choosing not to talk about it, or did he simply not remember? Hey, he says, I have to get to the office like twenty minutes ago, he kisses me quickly, I'll call you later and we can have dinner tonight. The door shuts and I'm left just standing there.


	4. Chapter 4

I arrive at my office ready to take on a new patient. After the death of Dr. Ewen Keenan, I had taken over some of his cases. I hear voices and look up to see a dark haired man in the slickest of suits. He smiles and I notice the deepest dimples. He is with a blonde who is dressed very chic. He extends his hand to me. As I go to take it, I notice a dark bruise around my wrist. Hello, I'm Dr. Dee Dunning. We shake. I'm Sonny Corinthos, and this is my fiance' Kate Howard. She smiles sweetly, hello nice to meet you Dr. Dunning. Sonny and Kate exchange a quick kiss and he leaves. Miss Howard is my new patient. As the door closes behind Mr. Corinthos, I hear a loud ugh! I turn to see Miss Howard wiping her mouth. I had studied Miss Howard's file, D.I.D. It is quickly obvious to me, this was not Miss Howard I am dealing with. Her alter goes by the name of Connie Falconeri. Connie kicks off her high heels throwing them in the air, woo what a relief, she proclaims, those suckers pinch my feet. Hey Doc, what do you have to drink around here? Would you like some tea, coffee, or water, I offer. My patient frowns, are you kidding, how about something with a kick like vodka, c'mon we can say it's water, no one will ever know. So sorry Miss Howard none of that, or should I call you Connie? Hey you're the shrink you tell me? Hey look Doc, lets not play twenty questions, I'm only here because the court says I have to be in order not to be sent up the river, you know like that other patient of yours, uhh whats his name? The guy with the wicked scar across his mug, oh yeah, Todd Manning. So you know Mr. Manning, I ask. Connie whips around and faces me. Oh Doc, it looks like you didn't do your homework. You know damn well I've been falsely accused of killing his granddaughter and her daddy. Of course I am aware Miss Falconeri. It's Ms. Falconeri and why did you ask if you already know? I just want to be clear on what you remember, I answer. I remember everything, and it wasn't me, she says. Then who, I ask. It was, she hesitates, then answers, it was that sniveling Kate. So Kate killed them, I ask. Yeah Kate Howard, she is the worst driver. Now me, I could have handled that gun and shot out Anthony Z's tires and drove a straight line with my eyes closed. So now big bad Mr. Manning has stolen precious Kate's hoiti toiti rag of a magazine Crimson just to get back at her. But guess what? What, I ask. I'm going to get that mag back. I know a lot more things about Mr. Manning, maybe stuff I'll print about him. Go on, I say. For one thing he hates Sonny, I love that. But that's not all she teases. Ah c'mon Doc, don't you wanna know? It's about his hate for Johnny Zacharra, she teases again. I'm sorry I say, I can't discuss Mr. Manning with you any further, we are getting way off track here. Besides this session is not about him, it's about you. But truthfully my mind wants to know it all, I think to myself. The things Todd hasn't told me during our therapy sessions. Things Connie claims to know. Okay Doc, since this IS about me, lets just cut to the chase. You sign that damn paper that says I'm fully integrated and give it to the judge. I can't do that I say. Connie flashes a big smile, oh but honey you can, or maybe somehow, someone will tell that you are sleeping with one of your patients. Tell me Doc, isn't that like totally against the rules here? She walks to the wall looking at my various degrees and points to my license to practice psychiatry. You better sign or all this fancy stuff up here won't be good for anything but toilet paper. She smiles. My heart is pounding.

Connie snaps her fingers in front of my face, hey snap out of it, Earth to Dr. Dunning, yoo hoo. Do you honestly think the the judge would believe that after one session with me that you are cured, I ask. Oh my God, says Connie pulling at her hair in frustration, do I have to think of everything? Where did you get those fancy diplomas? An online course? She points at my temple with her finger, I turn my head away. Use your noodle Doc, I pretend to come back for a few more sessions and presto, I'm integrated, cured, finito. And don't try to pull a fast one on me either, like trying to have me committed to Shady Brook or that even bigger hell hole Ferncliff, cuz I can switch Kate on like a light. And sweet Kate might just have to spill the beans about you and Mr. Manning doing the mattress Mambo. And you know everyone believes Kate' s word, especially that greasy sap Sonny, yuck. So whats it going to be doctor, you sign or Kate squeals? How do you know any of this, I ask. The great Constanza Louise Falconeri knows all and sees all and without LSD. She laughs out loud, that's my crazy cousin Olivia's schtick, but that's another story. Connie's facial expression quickly changes and she slams her hand down hard on my desk, Like I said doc, what's it going to be? She has me. Satisfied, Connie begins to fix her hair and make-up. Mr. Corinthos is just about to arrive to pick her up. By the way doc, I noticed that nice black and blue bracelet your sporting around your wrist, looks like you and Mr. Manning like it rough, she laughs. Just then Sonny Corinthos knocks. Connie flips the switch and Kate is on. Oh hi sweetheart, she says as she wraps her arms around him. Hey, he says, how did it go? Kate smiles at me sweetly, Dr. Dunning is magnificent, I really feel like we made such wonderful progress. They are both looking at me. Yes, I say, Ms. Howard seems to have done well under the late Dr. Keenan's care and I think we might not have many more sessions to go. That's great to hear, says Mr. Corinthos, well you ready to go? Sure says Kate, She extends her hand to me. I take it. Thank you so much Doctor, I'm actually looking forward to our next session, she smiles, you have a wonderful day, I know I will, bye!


	5. Chapter 5

I stand there alone in the middle of my office. I could blame Kate/Connie for all my new misery but it is ALL on me. My obsession over a very troubled man, my selfishness and my deep love for him. Above all this, I find that I desperately need him. I could end it all now, but I can't. Selfishness. I cancel my appointments for the rest of the day and week. I send some of my patients to see another colleague of mine. I lie, saying an unexpected emergency has come up. But then it occurs to me that it really isn't a lie at all. I lock my office and find my self walking through the halls of General Hospital in a zombie like state. The elevator doors open and I step out. I am on the eighth floor. The floor that Johnny Zacharra is on. Before my disastrous meeting with Kate/Connie I had checked on Johnny's condition. It is serious. The bullet has caused much damage, affecting major organs. He is not able to breathe on his own, he is on a respirator. I want to see him, to see his face again up close. But why? I had once sworn that I never wanted to see him again, yet my feet have guided me to his floor. As I am about to take a step, I see the door to Johnny's room open. I see him. Todd. He is backing out of the room and he closes the door. He looks around nervously, he doesn't see me. He rushes down the opposite hall and disappears into the other elevator. Just then I hear alarms going off. Code Blue. Dr. Steven Webber and nurses rush into Johnny's room. I move closer and stand in the doorway. They are scrambling. I hear Dr. Webber say, these machines have been unplugged. A nurse gasps, Dr. Webber, look at Mr. Zacchara's neck? Some one has tried to strangle him, says the Doctor. My knees begin to buckle, I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here. I don't realize that I am saying it out loud. Just as I feel I'm going to fall over, I feel two hands grab me and steady me. I look up to see Nurse Epiphany Johnson looking at me with great concern. Dr. Dunning are you alright? I'm going to be sick, I hear myself say. She quickly guides me to a chair and brings me a plastic hospital issue bucket. I heave. She holds on to my arm the whole time, it's okay doctor just let it go, just let it go. When it is over, she wipes my forehead with a cool compress. The dizziness and nausea are subsiding. You better have one of the doctors check you out, says Nurse Johnson. No, no I'm alright, it must have been something I ate, I'm alright now, thank you. I stand up with the nurses help. You don't look alright, she says. I'm fine really. Why are you Doctors so stubborn, she says. You're here to help everyone but you don't want to be helped yourselves, she shakes her head. I smile slightly, thank you again, Nurse Johnson, I just have to get out of here. I can still hear commotion. I don't look back at Johnny's room, I don't want to know if he is dead or alive. All I can think is, Todd what have you done?

I somehow make my way to my car. I turn the key, hit the gas. I'm driving, driving, driving, but I don't know where I'm going. I want to get out of this God forsaken town of Port Charles. I am willing at that moment to leave it all behind, my new life, my practice which is about to crumble, my home, my possessions, and yes, even Todd. I don't know for how long I have been on the road, but the sun is setting and darkness is falling. How fitting, the darkness is falling. All of a sudden, I feel so tired. I decide to pull over to try and get myself together. My hands are gripped tightly on the steering wheel, and it's all I can do to keep from banging my head against it. Suddenly, I scream at the top of my lungs and begin to sob uncontrollably. Just then I hear my cell ringing. I retrieve it from my bag trying to focus on it through my tears. It's Todd. I send him to voice mail. I am sitting there, the sobbing has stopped as I stare straight ahead out of the windshield, again in a zombie like state. My cell rings again, Todd again, voice mail again. He calls again and again and then no more. I finally pick up the phone. He has left several messages. I listen. First message,"Hey Dee, uh just calling to say that we'll have to make dinner some other time, um something came up." "I'll call you back later, bye." I laugh to myself, I'll bet something came up, something like attempted murder. Next message. "Hey Dee it's me again, why aren't you picking up? I need to talk to you. Where are you? Call me." Next message. "Okay Dee, where the hell are you?" Irritation in his voice. "I really need to talk to you, I'm starting to freak out here." "Call me dammit," click. Last message. "So you weren't at my suite, I called the hospital, they said you left hours ago, and now I'm standing in your condo, and guess what? You're not fucking here." He is angry. Never once does he think to ask if I am alright. He continues, "I really need you right now, I'm going out of my head about some stuff. I need you to talk me down." "I'm going to wait right here for you." "God dammit Dee, come home," he hangs up. I shake my head, this is the man I am in love with? Now who needs a psychiatrist? The shrink needs to be shrunk. I turn the key and turn the car around, headed back to Port Charles. I have to face my demons. Once back in the city I see a bar that I have driven by several times but have never stopped in. I decide tonight is the night. If I am going to face Todd, I am going to have to throw back a few.

I walk in, the lights are dim, there is a pretty good crowd, music is playing and folks are shooting pool. I decide to sit at the bar. The bartender approaches me. He is a good looking man with salt and pepper hair. Welcome to The Floating Rib, I'm Mac, what can I get for you tonight? Scotch I respond. Straight or on the rocks, he asks. Straight, I say. I don't need any ice getting in the way. He sits the drink before me. I don't think I've ever seen you in here before, he says. My first time, I say, I'm pretty much new in town. Well I hope you like our little port town, he says with a smile. Little does he know that I truly hate it already. As I am sipping my drink, I look towards the end of the bar. There is a young lady sitting there, her head in her hands. Are you alright, I ask. She looks up at me. I am not sure because of the low lighting, but this looks like the woman on the DVD with Johnny. The very DVD Todd was trying to hide from me. I look closer, my God, it is her. Are you alright, I ask again. She answers in a sarcastic tone, I am on top of the world, what do you care? Well I'm a good listener, I say, I do it for a living. All the while thinking that I just want to get to the bottom of this. By the way, I'm Dee Dun... I don't get my whole name out before she interrupts. I know who you are, she says. I sit there stunned. You do? I saw you, she says. I saw you with him. Excuse me, I say confused. The young lady gets up and walks towards me. I had an appointment with Mr. Todd Manning. He hadn't closed his office door completely and I heard noises. I looked in and I saw the two of you having sex. I am rendered speechless. She continues, I would think a very important wealthy businessman like Mr. Manning would be more discreet, much more careful. Speaking of being careful, she says, you tell him he needs to be just that. He needs to watch his back and be very careful. She starts heading for the door. Who the hell are you, I say angrily. She stops and turns to me and says one word. Moon.


	6. Chapter 6

She was right, how could we be so careless. I'm smarter than this. When did I become this person? I was always on my own. I made it on my own. I never needed anyone. And yet here I was having a relationship with my patient. I need him, I love him so much, but it is all so wrong. When did I lose control. The moment of truth. I turn the key to my door and walk in to find Todd pacing. He turns to me, the look of anger and desperation on his face. Where the hell have you been, he yells at me. He doesn't give me enough time to respond. Answer me, he yells again. I jump slightly at his yell startling me. My intention is to tell him the truth about what I have done to him. To tell him that people know about us and to tell him about Johnny Zacchara. I open my mouth to speak, but what comes out? More lies. I had to drive out to Ferncliff to see a patient who was in a bad way. Don't they have doctors there that could of handled it, yells Todd. This is my patient and she would only respond to me, I reply. Why didn't you answer your phone, he shouts. I turned it off, I couldn't have any interruptions. He begins to pace again. Todd what's wrong? I don't know he says. My head... my head, it really hurts. I need another drink, he says heading towards the bar. I notice the scotch bottle is almost empty. Todd I don't really think that drinking is going to help your head. No, he says, but it numbs the rest of the pain. He seems to be calming. Without thinking I ask, were you at General Hospital today? I notice a surprised look come across his face. What? No, why would you ask that? Because I thought I saw you, I answer. No, he says again, no. Hmmm, it must have been some one who looks like you, I say. Todd actually laughs, are you kidding? No one looks like me, not even my dearly departed twin brother Victor. His voice trails off and he seems to become trance like, staring into nothingness, as if trying to recall something. I shift into therapist mode:

Todd? Are you with me? Where are you?

It's raining, he says.

It's raining. It feels so good, washing everything away.

What are you doing in the rain?

He closes his eyes, just letting it wash over me, he says softly.

Is there a reason you are there? In the rain?

I took the gun, I took Dorian's gun.

Dorian? Who's Dorian?

Todd wrinkles his brow, she's Blair's aunt. I really hate Dorian.

Okay Todd, so you took Dorian's gun, why?

The tone of his voice changes, he opens his eyes.

I want to kill him, I have to kill him.

Who Todd? Who do you have to kill?

He took my life. He took everything. He took it all.

I know he is talking about his brother Victor.

Did you do it Todd? Did you kill your brother?

I don't... I don't know.

She says I did, he responds, she says I killed him.

She? Who is she?

My mother, my motherrr... he trails off.

Your mother is dead Todd, she couldn't of said this.

Oh but she isn't dead, she is always here, taunting me. He stabs at his temple hard with his index finger and then throws his glass of scotch across the room.

He turns to face the mirror hanging over the bar. His hazel eyes seem to change color, to a deep black.

Staring at his reflection, he speaks. I hate you. I hate you. He shouts the last, I HATE YOU!

Who Todd? Who do you hate?

He points at himself and then at his reflection. He says with disgust in his voice, I hate him, Thomas Todd Manning.

Without warning he smashes his fist into the mirror. I jump in surprise, but remain calm. I slowly go to him. He is still standing there, blood shooting from the cuts, glass embedded in his fist. He does not react to any pain.

Todd, I say softly. He turns to look at me, his face contorted in confusion. He raises his hand and looks at the blood, what have I done? It's alright, I say, and I guide him into the bathroom and put his hand under the water. He is just watching, not speaking. I wrap a towel around it, let's go Todd, I need to get you to the hospital. He is bleeding badly. As we get to the door, he stops abruptly, I don't want to go to General Hospital, don't take me there. But we have to get you to the emergency room I say. I don't care, just not there. I don't question him, but I know it has to do with Johnny. Okay, okay, I say, we'll go to Mercy Hospital, but let's go. Todd never utters a word during the drive there. He is stitched up and given pain medication. I take him back to his suite at The Metro Court. He is a little groggy from the pain killer. I sit him on his bed. I remove his jacket and shoes and lay him back. He closes his eyes. I cover him and turn to go. Please don't leave, he says, don't leave me. I take a deep breath. I slip off my shoes and lie down beside him. Soon he is fast asleep.

It is morning, I slide out of his bed, put on my shoes. Todd is still asleep. The most he ever sleeps is maybe three to four hours a night. The combination of pain killers and the scotch he had consumed have him out. I check his breathing, it is steady and normal. I enter the washroom and splash cold water on my face. What a day yesterday had been. I look back at Todd as I exit his bedroom. I pick up my purse and head for the front door. I drop my car keys, I pick them up and turn the door handle. Where are you going, I hear Todd ask. He has a way of walking up on me with out making a sound, how does he do that? Startled, I turn to see him in his rumpled slept in clothes. I didn't want to wake you. I have to go, lots of things to do, I answer. Oh, he says, as he plops on the couch. He rubs his head, what the hell happened? I feel like shit. Don't you remember, I ask. Yeah I kinda do, he says. He looks at his bandaged hand, man this hurts, don't you want to stay here and be my own personal Florence Nightingale? A small sly smile brushes across his face. Just then there is a knock on his door. Todd says, would you mind seeing who that is? I look through the peephole, it is his daughter Starr. I had met Starr a few times when she would meet Todd after a session and head out for a lunch date with her dad. I open the door, she looks surprised that I am here and answering her fathers door. Todd's face lights up like a Christmas tree, hey Shorty, come on in. She goes to him, hey dad, they hug tightly. As they pull apart, Todd says, you remember Dr. Dunning don't you? Dad, of course, we've already met several times. She smiles at me, hi doctor, how are you? Hello Starr, nice to see you, I reply. I really like her, I think to myself, she is about the same age that my... Todd interrupts my thought. Doctor, would you like to join us for breakfast, he asks, I'm ordering up room service. Before I can answer, Oh my God, dad, Starr gasps, what happened to your hand? Worry washing over her face. It's nothing Shorty, I just had a little accident and Dr. Dunning took me to the hospital. He smiles at his daughter. Todd has other children, as he has told me. Jack, who at the moment hates his guts, Dani his other daughter that he hardly knows and his nephew Sam, whom he loves as his own. He calls him Spidey Sam, He simply loves Spiderman. As much as he loves his children, it is obvious to see that the light of his heart is his Starr. I finally answer, thank you for the breakfast invitation, but I really have to be going. Please take care of that hand Mr. Manning. Starr it was so nice seeing you again. You too doctor, she says, and thank you so much for taking care of my dad. I look at Todd and he is looking at me straight in the eyes as if saying don't go. I smile at him, he smiles back and silently mouths the words thank you. Starr looks at her dad and then over at me, catching our glances, she knows what is happening, there is more going on between her father and Dr. Dunning.


	7. Chapter 7

A Conversation between Starr and Todd:

Todd has showered and Starr receives the breakfast room service. As they are sitting and eating, Starr speaks. Are you going to tell me how you hurt your hand? Todd looks at his wrapped bandages and answers, I smashed a mirror. Over somebodies head, asks Starr sarcastically. Todd laughs, hey I like that, good one Shorty. Actually, I just put my fist through it. Why, she asks. Wait, says Starr holding up her hand, do I really want to know? No, you don't want to know, smiles Todd. They eat. So dad, what's going on with you and Dr. Dunning? What, says Todd. You and Dr. Dunning, I saw the way you two were looking at each other. Nothing, Todd nods. C'mon dad, it's me, I wasn't born yesterday, I can see something is definitely going on. Ahhh, born yesterday, says Todd, with a nostalgic look on his face. I still remember holding you in my arms when you were a baby, my beautiful little Starr. I will always see you that way you know, my little girl. Dad you're trying to throw me off by changing the subject. Just answer my question? What was that question again, Todd teases. You and the doctor, what's going on? Todd raises an eyebrow and smiles slyly. Oh no Dad, says Starr, are you serious? As a heart attack, Todd answers while crunching on bacon. But dad, even you know that is wrong. She's your court appointed therapist, and what about her, she totally knows it's wrong. What if someone finds out? I won't tell if you don't, smirks Todd. Starr shakes her head, this is trouble, you're always in some kind of trouble. Todd mumbles, you don't know the half of it. Dad, I worry about you, says Starr. Well it's not your job to worry about me, replies Todd. I'm the dad and I do the worrying. Still, I wish you would rethink this, Starr says. You know me, says Todd, act first, think later. There is a small pause and silence as they continue eating. Starr breaks the pause. How do you feel about her, do you care for her? Todd looks up at his daughter. Yes Starr I do, I really do. Starr looks at her dad with a sadness. What are you thinking, asks Todd. Before Starr can answer, he says, oh I know, you're thinking about your mom. Starr replies, ever since I was little, I always wanted you and mom together, through all the fighting, the divorces, everything, I wanted you together. I guess I was still hoping for that. Todd wipes his mouth with his napkin, Starr I don't know if you know this, but the last time your mom was in town, during your opening at The Haunted Star, I asked her to marry me again. Starr's jaw drops, what? Mom never told me that. No, says Todd, I didn't figure she would. I guess I know what happened, says Starr, it was bad huh? Starr your mom and I are never going to be together again. She's moved on, she made her choice. Todds facial expression changes to one of disgust. She chose him, she chose Tomas, he says. She forgave him for what he did to me, yet she couldn't do the same for me. You kidnapped him dad, exclaims Starr. Todd shoots her a surprised look, are you kidding? Excuse me, but being strapped to an electric chair and being tortured daily trumps being tied to a simple wooden chair for like what, a week? And I gave him a T.V. too! Dad, there was more to it than that. Oh, says Todd, now you're talking about your Uncle Victor. Well you know what the judge said, it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, let him go. And why do I have PTSD, he yells, because that son of a bitch was responsible for delivering me to my psycho mother and I lost eight years of my life. Starr is frightened by his outburst. I'm sorry, I'm sorry Shorty, I didn't mean to yell, you have nothing to do with this, forgive me, please, says Todd. Starr goes to her dad and hugs him. Starr I need you to understand that your mother and I are over. I'm starting a new life and I want Dr. Dunning in it. Alright says Starr, does she make you happy? Yes, she does, he answers. That's all I ever wanted for you dad, to be happy. I know Shorty, I know. So says Todd, can we spend the rest of the day together? Oh, says Starr, I can't, I'm actually on my way to the hospital to check up on Johnny. The color drains from Todd's face. Starr continues, I still can't believe he was shot and the news this morning says someone tried to kill him again in the hospital. Wow, says Todd innocently, someone must really be pissed at him. I still don't know why you even care about that mobster, says Todd. Dad, he has been good to me since... her voice fades a bit, since Hope and Cole died. I'm sorry, says Todd, truly feeling sorrow for his daughter, but not for Johnny. Todd tries to distract her, hey, well since you're going to see Johnny, try and get me some photos of him for The Sun. He'll make a great headline, "Zacharra Almost Bites It Twice...Will Third Time Be The Charm?" Dad that's not funny, Starr says with a frown. Todd smiles widely, I thought it was. Can we have dinner later he asks? Um I'm meeting Michael tonight, she answers. Oh no no, now it's part of the Corinthos clan? Tell me Starr when did you become such a fan of the mob? Starr finally smiles and stands on her tip toes to kiss her dads cheek. They hug. I love you daddy. He kisses the top of her head, I love you too Starr. She leaves. Todd stands there in the middle of his suite, saying aloud to himself, so, that son of a bitch is still alive!


	8. Chapter 8

I arrive back home. As I walk in I see the shattered glass strewn all over the floor near the bar. I see Todd's blood. I decide I am too tired to clean it up and head straight for the shower. I lay down and fall into a deep sleep. I awaken much later that evening. If anyone had knocked or called I did not hear them, or maybe I just chose not to. I check my cell, no calls, not even from Todd. It is just as well, at this moment I just cannot deal. I go to the kitchen to make myself some tea when there is a knock at my door. To my surprise, it is Todds daughter Starr. How does she know where I live? She's a Manning, I then think to myself, and just like her father, she can be very resourceful.

Uh, hello Starr. Hello Dr. Dunning, may I come in, I need to talk to you about my father. Of course where are my manners, please come in. Starr walks in. She looks around my place and then she sees it. The glass, the blood. She walks toward it and with her back to me she speaks, so this is where it happened, where he hurt his hand. Yes, I answer. She turns back to face me, I know about you and my father, she says. My mind is saying, of course, now someone else knows. Before I can speak, she continues, my dad told me. I guess I don't have to tell you how wrong this is, but you're the professional, you are supposed to know better, but it's obvious that you don't, she says, this will just lead to trouble, and my dad doesn't need any more of that in his life. Starr let me explain, I say. Please doctor there is nothing to explain. She goes on, my dad sees nothing wrong with any of this, but I'm sure you know from treating him that he has a completely different way of thinking and rationalizing things, it's certainly not the norm. I finally get a word in. Starr I know all of this is wrong and I have tried to get your father to see another doctor, but he refuses. Starr interrupts me, Dr. Dunning how do you actually feel about my father? I care for him very much, I answer. You just care, she asks. For you to jeopardize your entire career, I would think it would be much more than just caring. Alright, I say, Starr, I am in love your father, I love him very much. The stern look on Starrs face softens. Doctor, my dad has been through hell. Before he was taken away, his life was a constant battle. The many terrible things he had done, the good things he tried to do. Then being held prisoner for eight years, the torture, the escape. To come back home and find his brother living his life and realizing that we had all forgotten about him. His struggle to convince us all that he was the real Todd Manning, but I'm sure you know all of this. Yes Starr I do. Don't get me wrong doctor, says Starr, I'm not making excuses for all the wrong my dad has done, but I think he has paid in spades. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my father has been hurt physically and emotionally, enough for a thousand life times. He is strong and a fighter, but I don't want him hurt any more. And even though he says he does not deserve it, he does deserve to be happy. He told me that you make him happy doctor. I want to cry, he said that? Yes he did, so please Dr. Dunning please, before there is more trouble, get him to another therapist. I will, I reply. She heads for the door, before exiting she turns to me, I won't say anything about the two of you, but please take care of him and don't hurt him.

It is 4:00 A.M. I am wide awake having slept so long the day before. I am watching an old black and white movie, "Gilda." My phone rings startling me. It is Todd. Hey, I answer. Hey yourself, he responds, did I wake you? Normally you would have, but I took a really long nap yesterday, I answer. Me too, he says, can you believe it? Well I mean I had some help from the pain medication. After Starr left my hand was just throbbing, so I popped a couple and down I went. It felt so good to actually sleep. Be careful with those Todd, I say, they can be addictive. Yes doctor, he says playfully, I'll be careful. His voice then changes to a more serious tone, uh listen, he says, about the other night, with me zoning out and the mirror thing. I really don't remember everything. I didn't hurt you, did I? If I did, I'm so sorry. I just can't remember it all. No Todd, I'm fine, you didn't hurt me. I really want to get together with you so you can fill me in on the missing pieces, he says. Todd about that, I don't think we can continue as doctor and patient. What, he exclaims. Todd you and I are seeing each other and... I hear Todd begin to laugh. Seeing each other, is that what their calling it these days, he says. Dee I think we are doing a lot more than just seeing each other, and might I add that I definitely like what I see. Todd I'm serious. Look Dee, we have already been through this and I don't want another doctor. Well I'm afraid that's the way it has to be, I say impatiently, my practice is at stake, people know. I stop talking quickly, I have said too much. What, he exclaims again. Who knows, agitation in his voice. What I meant to say was people may find out, I answer. No, you said people know, who knows Dee, tell me now. Then he continues, okay I did tell Starr and that was wrong, but she won't say anything. I don't want to tell him about Starrs visit, he doesn't need to know that, not from me. That will be up to his daughter. Dee who else knows? Did you forget, Carly Jacks for one, I answer. For one, says Todd, you mean there's more? Who? Some girl I don't know, she said her name is Moon. There is silence on Todds end. Todd are you there? Did you hear me? His voice is barely audible, yes I heard you. At that moment I want to question him about Moon, the DVD with her and Johnny. Do you know who she is, I ask. Yes, he answers, but not well, listen I'll have to call you back. No wait Todd, I say, there is someone else. What the hell, says Todd, did someone put this on the front page of The Sun without me knowing? Who else? Kate Howard, I blurt out. Todds voice is angry now, Kate Howard, Sonny Corinthos' moll? Yes, I answer, only she isn't Kate, her alter Connie is in control and she has threatened to expose us, well me anyway, if I don't sign off on her court papers saying she is cured. Oh my God, my mouth had said too much again before my brain could tell me to shut up. Dammit, I hear Todd yell, look don't worry about Kate...Connie whoever the hell she is, I'll take care of her. No Todd no, panic in my voice. Starr was right I'm thinking, this is leading to trouble. Listen to me Todd, please don't do anything, if you care anything about me, you'll just let it go, I can handle this on my own. Todd replies, I'm sorry Dee, but no one messes with the people I love. He hangs up. My mind is racing, and true to my selfish nature, of all the things that were said, all I could think about was what he said before he hung up. "No one messes with the people I love." Did Todd Manning just say that he loves me?


	9. Chapter 9

Later that day I call Todd several times but I get his voice mail. Todd what are you going to get into now, I think. I can't sit still so I decide to go see him. On my way I find myself driving to General Hospital. Is this out of habit or am I heading there for another reason? Once inside, I find myself heading to the eighth floor again, Johnny's floor. I head towards his door. I see the patient name outside. It is not Johnny's. I ask the nurse at the station. Mr. Zacchara has been moved, he is doing better and breathing on his own, even after his attack. I go to the sixth floor now. It is obvious to me which room he is in. There are two burly police officers situated outside his door. Just in case someone tries to off him again. Someone? Or should I say Todd. The police officer stops me, I tell him I am a doctor here at the hospital and show him my hospital identification, I also throw in somewhat of a lie and say that I am an old friend of Mr. Zaccharas. Thinking about it, it is not that much of a lie, yes I do know him, but I wouldn't consider myself a friend anymore. Even though we once were very close. The officer lets me in. I stand inside the door for a few moments, He is laying with his eyes closed. I move closer and finally to his bedside. I am looking down upon his face. A face that I thought I would never see again, I didn't want to see again, yet here he is and so am I. I am just looking at him when he opens his eyes. He looks at me and blinks trying to focus. I'm paralyzed, I can't move as I watch him. He speaks, his voice weak and gravelly. Am I dreaming? Dee is it you? I swallow hard trying to find my own voice, yes Johnny, it's me Dee. His eyes are all over me as if not believing who he is seeing. What are you doing here, what's going on? I haven't seen you or heard of you since you left all those years ago. I am living here in Port Charles now, I'm a doctor here at this hospital, I say cautiously. I heard about what happened to you and I just wanted to see you and to find out if you are going to be alright. The nurse said you are doing well and that's all I wanted to know, I'm sorry I disturbed you. I start to back away from his bedside. No don't go, there is so much I want to ask you, don't walk out on me again, he says. His heart rate monitor begins to race. I'm sorry Johnny I shouldn't have come here, it was a mistake. No, he tries to shout. I open the door and call to the nurse. She rushes in. I make a bee line for the elevator. What the hell was I thinking, why did I come here?

I finally arrive at The Metro Court. I am headed to the elevator and low and behold who blocks my path? Carly. Oh no, please, I say, will you just get out of my way? Not so fast, she says, what the hell are you doing in my hotel? I roll my eyes, not that it's any of your business, but you know damn well I'm here to see Todd. Well Todd isn't here, she says. And how the hell would you know that, I ask. She smiles, wouldn't you like to know? Listen Carly, unless you want to go round two and continue our boxing match, get out of my way. Carly continues to smile and steps aside. As I walk past her, I hear her speak, by the way, you tell Todd that he better expect payback for what he did. I stop and turn to face her again. And just what did he do? Carly is still smiling big, oh could it be that Todd is keeping secrets from you? Imagine that, she says. Just give him that damn message, he'll know what it's about. Why don't you tell him yourself, I say. I can't stand it, that bitch is still smiling and she turns and walks away. I know it has to do with the DVD, Johnny and that girl Moon. Johnny and Carly were serious and Todd broke them apart, but why? I finally head up to Todd's suite, using my pass key. I enter. Todd is not here. I look around and think, this can't go on, running into that Carly every time I come here. I am going to have a serious talk with Todd about getting his own place and moving himself and The Sun out of The Metro Court once and for all.


	10. Chapter 10

Todd is just a few floors up at The Metro Court in his office at The Sun. He can not concentrate much just thinking about what I have told him about Kate Howard exposing our relationship. I have to think, he says aloud. He closes his eyes, nothing. Suddenly he stands, pulls off his shoes and does a handstand against the wall. Something he has done for years to get the blood rushing to his brain. He is talking aloud, spouting possibilities and doing pushups at the same time. I know he says, I'll go see Sonny Corinthos and tell him he better reel in his woman or I'll put her on the front page telling the world that she's bananas. And if that doesn't work, I'll kill her. He gets back on his feet. No, he says, if I kill her there's a good chance I will be taken for a ride in the trunk of what I'm sure will be a very nice car by Sonny's goons. And then Jason Morgan will probably shoot me with his big shiny gun. No, no I can't have that. He puts his shoes back on and shakes his head, I think I'll just do the first part. Todd heads for his office door intent on going and lowering the boom on Sonny. He opens the door and to his surprise, who is standing there about to knock, but Kate Howard herself.

The look on Todd's face is priceless. He smiles big. Kate smiles at him. Hello Mr. Manning, I was wondering if I could speak with you? Sure sure, c'mon on in. As she walks past Todd to enter his office, he is grinning ear to ear as he mumbles, so the bleach blonde rat has come to the cat. I'm sorry, says Kate, did you say something? Todd closes the door, oh just making a mental note aloud about an upcoming story, I do that all the time. Please, sit down Ms. Howard. Todd sits down behind his desk. So what is it you wanted to speak to me about? It's about Crimson Magazine, I want it back, says Kate. Todd continues to smile, Oh I see, well Ms. Howard... she interrupts, please, call me Kate. Alright and you may call me Todd. About Crimson, Todd continues, I'm afraid you getting it back will be impossible, you see I'm thinking of shutting down publication. No you can't do that, she says, I started that magazine and made it into a successful worldwide publication, it's my baby. Really Ms. Howard, oh I'm sorry, Kate, I don't think the world needs yet another fashion magazine with a bunch of skinny models wearing stuff that no one in their right mind would ever wear. Now if you want to buy it back that's different, but I'm not just going to hand it over, he says. Kate is becoming agitated. Todd knows exactly what he is doing as he continues to push her buttons. Todd, I'm sure you want an enormous amount of money for it and I just don't have that kind of cash, she says. But I thought you said it was a successful worldwide publication, I'm sure you made a pretty penny off of it, smiles Todd. Well it's been awhile since I have been at the magazine, you see I have been ill and I had many expenses, she says, trying to get sympathy from Todd. What about your boyfriend Sonny Corinthos, can't he give you the money, asks Todd. No absolutely not, says Kate, I would never take money from Sonny. Then you must not want it that bad, says Todd. Kate's nostrils are flaring, she has had enough, listen you, she points at Todd as she stands, you will give me back Crimson or else. Todd pretends to be surprised, why Kate whatever is wrong with you, or maybe I should call you Connie. Her eyes widen, Connie? Who's Connie?Todd stands as well, aw cut the crap, I know you're Connie. There is a small silence between the two as they stand facing each other. Okay, you got me, she says, looks like your shrink slash lover told you about me. Tell me, was it over pillow talk after doing it rough, she smiles. Did she tell you I have this D.I.D.? What a load of bull, she continues, anyway, why am I telling you this, what do you know about D.I.D.? Todd is serious now, oh believe me I know about D.I.D. first hand. He holds up a book he has pulled from a drawer. So you read a book about it, big deal, says Connie, that don't make you no expert. The woman on the front cover of this book is my sister, says Todd, it's about her and my niece. They both suffer from this damn thing, so don't tell me I don't know D.I.D. Connie's smug smile disappears, well boo hoo, too bad for them, but I ain't sick. Listen are you going to give me that rag of a mag back or... Todd interrupts her, Or what Connie? You're going to tell everyone that will listen about me and Dr. Dunning? That and so much more she says. Todd's expression changes. Hah, I got your attention now don't I, she smirks. Continue says Todd.

You sign Crimson over to me or I'll sing not only about you and Doc Dunning's affair, but about you blackmailing that little girl into sleeping with Johnny. In exchange for you covering up the fact that you know that she's the one that did the hit and run on Lulu Spencer Falconeri. Todd smiles, so let me get this straight, you're going to blackmail me over the fact that I black mailed that girl into sleeping with Johnny, wow, classic. Yeah isn't it, and let's not forget that we both know who really killed your kids little family, says Connie. Todd stares down Connie with daggers. Okay Connie you win, you've got me, Todd throws his hands up in the air. Man, you and doc are so easy, you both aren't very smart, you two were made for each other, she says laughingly. I tell you what Connie, I will have my lawyer draw up the paper work and I will sign Crimson over to you. Wait a minute, she says, how do I know you ain't gonna try and pull a fast one on me? You don't, says Todd, you're just going to have to trust me, so take it or leave it. Connie eyes Todd with suspicion, I'll take it. She moves close to Todd looking him up and down, you know, you are a very good looking man, you smell good too. What do you see in Doc Dunning anyway? You know if you let me, I could rock your world and make you forget all about her. And what would Sonny have to say about that, asks Todd. Connie rolls her eyes, aw why did you have to go and ruin the moment by saying that greasers name? She smiles and moves even closer to Todd, she runs her hand over his chest, so what do you say Toddy boy, I like it rough too. Todd grabs her arm hard as she is slowly moving it downward on his body, oh yeah, smiles Connie, that's what I'm talking about. I wouldn't touch you with a twenty foot pole, says Todd, his facial expression actually frightening Connie. She backs off and straightens herself up before grabbing her purse, you better have those papers by tomorrow. She walks out slamming the door behind her. Todd laughs to himself, get ready Connie, you're going down.


	11. Chapter 11

I wait in Todd's suite for what seems to be an eternity. He never answers his cell, I'm going to voice mail. Todd what are you up to, I think to myself. I am very worried. After seeing him exit Johnny's hospital room that day, I know he is capable of doing anything. He has done so many terrible things in the past, it is almost like nothing to him. I'm laying on the couch when I hear the door, Todd walks in and stops in his tracks as he see's me. I sit up. Hey there, he says, what a nice surprise. I run my fingers through my hair, hello Todd, I have been waiting a good while, why didn't you answer your phone? Uh well, I was in my office taking care of some things, why didn't you come up? Oh no, last time I was up there you know what happened, I answer. Todd sits next to me, yes I do, he smiles, the top of my desk will never be the same. Todd this isn't funny, that girl Moon saw us, I say frustrated. Relax, says Todd. Relax? Are you serious, how can I relax with all that is at stake here. I told you I would take care of things, don't worry, he says calmly. That's just it Todd, I am worried. Do I have to tell you again, asks Todd. Tell me what again, I say. That no one messes with the people I love. I turn to look at him searching his eyes, say it Todd, just say it, my mind is screaming. He smiles and pushes back a strand of hair from my face with his finger and then I hear the words. I love you Dee, I am so in love with you. My heart is racing as I feel a tear coming to my eye, I love you too. I wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls me towards him. We kiss, a long passionate kiss. When we break, he stands and takes me by the hand into his bedroom. This night will be even better than it has ever been before, because now I know for sure that Todd Manning loves me.

I lay in Todd's bed. I think I am dreaming. I am hearing voices. As I slowly awaken, I realize that I do hear something. Someone is talking. I sit up and see that Todd is not next to me. The closer I listen, I don't hear voices, I just hear one. Todd's. I look towards the bathroom and can see the light under the door. I get up wrapping the sheet around me and walk to the door. I stop and listen. Todd speaks.

Why are you doing this to me? Leave me alone, leave me in peace.

There is a pause, as if someone is talking to him, except I don't hear anything. Todd speaks again.

No you're wrong, she does love me, Dee loves me.

You're not real, you're not here. Please, leave me alone.

I can hear his voice breaking. I know he is hearing his mother Irene's voice. At that moment I am so afraid he will drive his hand into a mirror again re injuring himself. Or he could do something worse. I can't let this go on. I knock on the door softly and call his name. Silence. I open the door and see Todd standing at the bathroom basin facing the mirror. He is bracing himself against the sink, his hands gripping the sides hard. His arms are shaking, his breathing is fast and heavy, he is sweating profusely.

I touch his shoulder, It's alright Todd, I'm here. He turns, he looks at me as if I am a stranger. I say his name again, he blinks and shakes his head, this time looking at me with recognition. I move closer and place my hand on his and help him loosen his grip. I keep talking as I walk him into the bedroom. I sit him on the edge of the bed. He is silent with the look of sadness and exhaustion on his face. I kneel in front of him. He looks at me, I'm sorry, he says. For what, I say smiling faintly. I'm crazy, he says, why are you still with me? You need to save yourself and just leave me. No I say, you're not crazy and I'm not leaving. Besides, I'm your doctor, remember, I will help you. I take his hand, I notice there is blood on the bandages of his hurt hand. He had been gripping the sink so hard that he has busted some stitches. Oh Todd, I say, I think we might have to head back to the emergency room and get this hand taken care of. What does it matter, he says, maybe I should just bleed to death, every one would be better off. Stop that, I say, stop talking like that. Todd snaps back, I thought you would want me to keep talking so you could analyze me. Now that's sounds like the smart ass Todd I know, I say. Yes, I am your doctor, but right now I am someone who loves you very much, so get your butt up and dressed, I'm taking you to the hospital. Wow, you're so bossy, he says. He is sounding more like himself. That's right I say, right now I am the boss so get moving. As we are dressing, I am actually thinking of this evenings events, Todd and I will have to discuss what happened, he has to tell me everything so I can help him begin to heal.


	12. Chapter 12

More than a week had come and gone. I had been away from my practice long enough. I am driving and thinking. Todd and I had talked about what happened that one night. He recalled going into the bathroom and seeing his mother Irenes reflection in the mirror. When he turned around, she was standing there. She began her assault on him. Not until I knocked on the door did she disappear.

At the stop light I glance into the rear view mirror. Now I had not been too sure, but for a while now I thought someone was following me. There is a dark blue car that I know I have seen before. I never mentioned it to Todd because I didn't need him freaking out and punching out everyone that was driving that color car. I arrive a General Hospital and head for my office. For a quick moment I think about Johnny. No, no more of that. Today is the day, I finally sign off on Kate Howard saying she no longer requires treatment. Good riddance. The day is going well, that is until I get the call.

Hello Dr. Dunning, this is Dr. William Price.

William Price? I feel my heart sink. He is the head of the Medical and Psychiatric Ethics Board Committee.

Yes Dr. Price, how may I help you?

Actually Dr. Dunning, I would like to meet with you in the conference room.

Yes, of course Dr. Price. When?

Right now, he answers.

I hang up. I sit back and close my eyes. I want to cry, but I can't. This is it. I knew it was coming. No sooner had I signed off on Kate Howard when I got the call. I gave her what she wanted and she betrayed me anyway. I walk into the conference room. There sitting with Dr. Price is the rest of the committee. I look at one person in particular, she is the P.I. I had bumped into at the Metro Court, Sam McCall.

Please Dr. Dunning sit down. I sit down slowly. Dr. Dunning, something of great concern has been brought to our attention about a certain patient of yours. A Mr. Todd Manning. We had received an anonymous call and letter stating that you and Mr. Manning are involved as much more than doctor and patient. As you know this is highly unethical.

Now we do not go into such accusations without proof. Ms. McCall, if you will please hand me the envelope. She hands Dr. Price a large brown envelope. He continues, Dr. Dunning we took the liberty of hiring Private Investigator Samantha McCall and I am sorry to say that she provided us with the proof we needed. He slides the envelope to me. I open it and there they are. Pictures of me and Todd. I am disgusted, but all with myself.

Dr. Dunning, do you deny that these are pictures of you and Mr. Manning?

No, I do not, I answer.

Do you admit to having a relationship other than doctor and patient?

Yes, I do.

Then I am sorry Dr. Dunning, but you leave this committee no choice but to revoke your license to practice psychiatry. You will provide us with your certificate and turn in your hospital identification. Your patients will be reassigned to other doctors.

I stand, I look at Sam McCall, she looks at me with an I'm sorry look on her face.

I turn and walk out. It's over, everything I had worked so hard for. But there is no one to blame but myself. Oddly enough, I do not cry, I had been waiting for the shoe to drop. But one thing was pissing me off, the fact that I actually believed Connie would keep her word. I knew better than that, you can't trust a crazy person. Listen to me, I wasn't a therapist anymore and I was already calling people crazy.

Walking towards the lobby of General Hospital I am stopped by Sam McCall. Excuse me Dr. Dunning. I look at her, uh did you forget so fast Ms. McCall, I am no longer a doctor. Yes, she says about that, I just want you to know that it was nothing personal. But you don't even know me, I say, why would you even care? It's never easy in cases like these, but I was hired to do a job and... before she can continue I cut her off. Please Ms. McCall, I understand you were only doing your job. So it was you following me all this time? Guilty, she says. I shake my head, well you're very good at what you do. Good bye Ms. McCall, it has not been a pleasure, and I walk out.

I think I am free and clear of General Hospital, but no such luck. Heading to my car, I hear someone call my name. What the hell, now what? I turn to see Carly Jacks and standing next to her is Moon. They are both looking at me with smug little smiles. Carly speaks, so tell me doctor... oh wait, you're no longer a doctor, how did your meeting go? Were the pictures juicy? My mouth is actually open, it wasn't Connie who did me in, it was this bitch Carly and her little friend Moon. Carly laughs, did you think after that day I found you in Todd's suite and you jumped me that I would just let it go? What's the matter Dee, cat got your tongue, she asks. What doe's she have to do with this, I ask as I point at Moon. When in the hell did you two become BFF's? Carly looks at Moon, oh please we are anything but that, but when push came to shove we helped each other out. Go ahead, she says, tell the ex-doctor. Moon speaks, Mr. Manning made me do something I didn't want to do to hurt Carly, so I decided to help her by getting you, but we are not friends. I knew about the DVD, but how and why did Todd make her do it, I think. Carly speaks, karma's a bitch isn't it? She puts on her shades and she and Moon turn and walk off. I had to use all the self control I could muster not to rip Carly and Moon apart with my bare hands. Self control? I should of used that when I decided I wanted Todd. Too late.


	13. Chapter 13

I arrive home with my belongings that I took from my office. Connie was right, my degrees weren't worth the paper they were written on anymore. I drop the box with my stuff on the floor. I don't care. I look around my home, but for how much longer would it be my home? What did not happen earlier in this disastrous day happens now. I start crying uncontrollably. I cry for what seems like an eternity. I find myself pulling a picture from my living room desk. I hold the picture to my chest as I stand in the corner. With my back against the wall, I slide down to a sitting position. I'm sorry, I hear myself saying, I'm so sorry I have let you down. I continue holding the picture. The sun is setting, I am still sitting here, the crying has stopped. I don't notice that someone has walked in. It is Todd. He sees me on the floor holding my knees to my chest. He comes to me, Dee I'm here, I'm here. He sits on the floor next to me and puts his arm around me. My head falls on to his broad shoulder. I feel his fingers entwine in my hair. It's over Todd, I say, I've lost it, I lost my practice. I know, he says. I look up at him, how? I called the hospital when you didn't answer your cell. Whoever I spoke to there told me what happened. I figured you came home, so I rushed over. I'm so sorry Dee, this is all my fault, he says. If I hadn't been so stubborn and switched to another doctor like you suggested, none of this would have happened. No, I say, it's entirely my fault, I knew it was wrong from the beginning, but as soon as I met you for the first time, I felt something. I heard about your life, Blair, your children, everything you've done, everything that had been done to you and then you spoke of Carly. I decided I wanted you for myself and I manipulated you. I'm no better than your horrible mother Irene. I expect Todd to jump up and say he never wants to see me again, I wouldn't blame him. Do you honestly think I didn't know what you were doing, says Todd. When I first met you, I know I gave you a hard time about not wanting therapy, but I was thinking the whole time, wow, she is beautiful, I can't wait to see her again. What, I say, if you knew, why did you let me do that to you? I just wanted to see how far you would go, he answers, but somewhere down the line, I found myself thinking about you constantly until that day I walked into your office and kissed you. I rest my head back on his shoulder. Todd continues, I normally would never just haul off and kiss someone and then what it led to, us together in bed, I have never just been able to let go so easily. In one of our past sessions he had spoken of his problems with intimacy. I had concluded that it stemmed from the rape he had committed, but I had a feeling it went further back than that, to his childhood and his father Peter Manning. Maybe someday he would be able to tell me. I can't believe you let me go on like an idiot and do that to you, I say. You forget, that I have been through this before, says Todd. What do you mean, I ask. Mind manipulation, he answers, you know, brainwash me once, shame on you, brainwash me twice, shame on me. I want to laugh, but really, it isn't funny. Hey, he says it's going to be alright, I'll take care of you. By the way, he says, who the hell ratted us out, it was that nut Connie wasn't it? Before I can say anything he continues. Well don't worry, cuz I'm taking care of her. No Todd it wasn't Connie. Todd looks at me, then who? I wanted to scream, Carly and Moon, but no, what for? It doesn't matter now, I answer, it's over and there is no going back

We sit on the floor against the wall, his arm still around me, my head still on his shoulder. What's this, he asks, taking my hand with the photo in it. He looks at it, who is this, she kind of looks like you. It's my mother, I answer, and I begin to cry again. Sshhh, he hugs me to him tighter and rocks me, Sshhh! You never talk about your family, maybe this time you can talk to me and I'll shrink you, he says with a playful smile. I pull back from his embrace, oh my God, I don't think you want to know, it's not pretty, I say sadly. Try me, he says, it can't be as bad as the mess that has been my life. What's your mother's name? Deeandra, I answer. She named me Dee, a short version of hers. I pause looking at my moms beautiful face. My mother had problems, mental issues. I loved my mother so much and she was wonderful on her good days. Then there were times that she didn't seem to know who I was. Todd is looking at me with a sadness. What about your dad, he asks. I shut my eyes tightly squeezing out more tears, my father was no dad, he was a monster. He was an alcoholic, he treated my mom horrible, he was always calling her names, crazy especially. He treated me even worse. My mind is pulling up all these visual memories, I hear myself speaking as if in a trance. We lived in Texas, that's where I was born. I didn't have much of a childhood and I would spend most of my time daydreaming of what it would be like to have the perfect family. When I was about ten, my father started coming into my room at night. It went on until I was twelve. One night he came in drunk and was standing over my bed, I was curled up in the corner against the wall terrified. He started toward me, I shut my eyes tightly and I heard a loud bang. I open my eyes. My father falls on my bed, I look up to see my mom standing there with a gun. She shot him, she protected me. I remember shaking and my mom still stood there pointing the gun at him, all the while ranting and babbling. The next thing I know the police are there. They take my mom away and I never see her again. Having no other family, I was put into foster care, shuffled from family to family. I shake my head, snapping myself out of it. For once, Todd seems to be rendered speechless. I look at him, after a few minutes, he finally speaks, I'm so sorry Dee, what a horrible thing for a little kid to go through. He speaks again, this time with anger in his voice, what makes these so called fathers think that they can do these disgusting things to their children, to us? To us, I think to myself. Todd now knows what my father did to me, but what more had his father done to him, tell me Todd, I want to shout. He pulls me to him, I'm so sorry, he says, as he begins to rock me again. I finally gain a little composure, anyway that's why I decided to become a therapist, to help people like my mother, she didn't have access to any mental help then, society let her down. Now I have dishonored her memory and let her down all over again.


	14. Chapter 14

Roles reverse. Todd put me to bed that night and stayed by my side. Oddly enough through all the terrible events of my day, I slept peacefully. The next morning when I wake up I smell something wonderful coming from my kitchen. I walk in to see Todd making breakfast. I'm actually surprised, we would always order take out, he would get room service at The Metro Court or I would cook. What is all this, I ask, you never told me you could cook. Todd smiles, you never asked. There are eggs, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, toast, fresh fruit, juice, coffee, just about everything breakfast one could imagine. He pulls out a chair for me. I am amazed at the feast before me. He sits and says, okay dig in and he goes at his food like he hasn't eaten in years. I can't believe I manage a smile. I don't want you to be alone today, he says as we are eating. Then stay, I say. Actually, I want you to come stay in my suite at The Metro Court. I have some very important business that I really have to take care of today at The Sun, it can't be put off. It won't take long and I will spend the rest of the day or days, weeks, months with you. I love hearing this, I think to myself. Then I speak, Todd I don't ever want to set foot in The Metro Court again, never. Todd looks at me with a confused look. What? Why not, he asks. You heard me, never again, I get up and walk to the bedroom. Todd follows. Dee what is going on? Did something happen there, with Carly maybe? Maybe, I say feeling a little angry. Tell me Dee. Never mind Todd, just go and take care of your business matter, I'll be fine. Thank you for the beautiful breakfast, I kiss him on the cheek, I love you. Todd says alright, I'll be back in a while, all the time looking at me with concern. Todd sits in his car, okay Carly, I know it was you, he says aloud to himself.

Todd arrives at The Metro Court. No time to look for Carly right now as he checks his watch. Having showered and changed at my place, he doesn't have to stop in his suite. Good thing I kept some clothes at Dee's place, he thinks. He takes the elevator up to The Sun offices. Good Morning Mr. Manning, I have the days itinerary for you, he hears an annoyingly perky voice say, as he walks in. It is his assistant, Maxie Jones. Why did I ever hire this bird, he thinks. Uh yeah yeah, whatever, that's great, he says, rushing into his office. Maxie is right behind him, hot on his heels. Listen Miss Jones, I have a very important meeting this morning with my attorney, when he gets here just send him in. Maxie looks at the itinerary, but Mr. Manning I don't see a scheduled meeting on here. Todd stops and turns, Maxie bumps into him hard. Todd snatches the paper from her hands, rips it into little pieces and throws it up in the air. No more itineraries okay, just send my attorney in. And after he gets here, make yourself scarce. Oh but what shall I do, where shall I go, asks Maxie. Todd smiles, please don't ask me a loaded question like that, because I just might tell you. Maxie looks confused. Todd slams the door in her face. After a few minutes Maxie knocks on Todd's door. Whooo is it, says Todd sarcastically, knowing full well it is his assistant. It's me, Maxie Jones, she answers. Todd throws his head back and pulls at his hair in frustration and silently screams, AAHHHH! Mr. Manning your attorney is here. Todd opens the door, right on time, he says and lets the man in. Todd steps out of his office and grabs Maxies purse shoving it in her arms and starts pushing her to the elevator. Um but Mr. Manning what time shall I return? Don't return, Todd says, just take the rest of the day off with pay. But, but...she protests. No buts, now GET LOST, he shouts. The elevator doors close before Maxies sad face.

Do you have them, Todd asks the man. Yes sir I do, he answers. He hands Todd some papers. He looks them over, very good, they look good. You remember what to say and do? Yes Mr. Manning, I am ready. A few minutes later, Kate knocks on the door. Hello Ms. Howard, Todd steps back allowing her to enter. She shoots Todd a look. Ms. Howard this is my attorney, Mr. I. Cheatum. Kate looks at the man funny. I'm sorry, what is your name again? I. Cheatum, the I stands for Izadore, says the man. Well alright, she says and sits down, I don't have much time, so gentlemen let's get down to business. The man sets the papers in front of Kate, you will see Ms. Howard that everything is in order concerning the transfer of Crimson Magazine from Manning Enterprises over to you. The paperwork had to be made out in Kates name since Connie does not supposedly exist. Kate scans them several times and smiles up at the two men. Well everything seems to be in order so somebody give me a pen. Todd pulls a gold pen from his jacket, she signs, Todd signs, Mr. Cheatum signs. Todd notices she puts his pen in her shirt between her cleavage. He makes an ick face. Kate is over the moon, well gentlemen it's been nice doing business with you. Mr. Manning I will be taking control of Crimson right away. By all means, says Todd, she's all yours. Thank you so much, she says to Todd, you made a wise decision. She shakes the other mans hand. By the way says Todd before she exits, you'll be needing an assistant won't you? I suppose so, says Kate. Good, you can have mine, take her, please! Maxie Jones right, asks Kate. Todd smiles, yes Maxie Jones, I'm making a great sacrifice by giving her up, but I think the two of you deserve each other and he rolls his eyes. Great, says Kate, good day fellas. Oh, one more thing Kate, says Todd, I want my pen back. Kate gets very close to him, well why don't you just reach in here and get it, she says, as she thrusts her bosom up against him. Connie has resurfaced. On second thought just keep it, says Todd. Kate smiles, too bad, you don't know what you're missing, and she turns and walks away. Todd watches her disappear into the elevator. He closes the door to his office. How was I Mr. Manning, asks the man. Izzy, you were great smiles Todd, now if you don't mind look away for a second. The man does just that. Todd opens his safe. Here you go, says Todd. The man turns and Todd hands him a stack of money. Make sure you use some of that to keep up the acting classes, you might just get an Emmy or an Oscar someday. Thank you Mr. Manning, I hope we can do business again. Yeah well don't call me, I'll call you. The fake attorney leaves. Todd sits behind his desk and props his feet up and begins to laugh. I can't believe it, he says aloud to no one, she bought it. This was just way too easy.

After Todd is done marveling over Kate/Connie's stupidity he gains a more serious composure. He picks up his phone and dials his editors letting them know that they will have control of The Sun for an indefinite amount of time. He will be heading out of town. He will check in periodically. He makes another call. Hello, Maxie Jones speaking. Miss Jones, this is your boss Todd Manning, I forgot to tell you something very important before you left. Yes sir what is it, she asks with a chipper tone. You're fired. But Mr. Manning, I don't understand, did I do something wrong? Itineraries, you keep giving me itineraries, I don't follow guidelines for my day, I make it up as I go along, says Todd. I'm so sorry Mr. Manning, I won't do it again, but please don't fire me, pleads Maxie. Sorry, but my mind is made up, says Todd, besides Ms. Kate Howard is back at the helm of Crimson and you will be working for her. What, says Maxie gleefully, yay, I can't believe it, she rattles on, actually high fashion is my specialty, I just love all the aspects of the fashion industry...Todd holds the phone away from his ear with an annoyed look on his face. He can hear her chattering on and on, her voice is seeking out his spinal cord. While Maxie continues, in midsentence she hears click. Hello, hello Mr. Manning, uh oh I think we were disconnected, and she goes on her merry way.


	15. Chapter 15

Todd heads towards Carlys office. He can hear her voice through the door. He doesn't knock, he barges right in. Carly looks up as she is on the phone. Uh look, I'll have to call you back later about the specifics on that party reservation, thank you, she states into the phone. She hangs up. What the hell do you think you're doing just walking in my office like this, she shouts at Todd. What, you would just walk into my suite anytime you wanted, says Todd. What do you want Todd? Oh I think you know why I'm here, he says. Carly walks behind him and shuts the door. Um let's see, she says, oh yes, no more Dr. Dunning huh? Why did you do it Carly, asks Todd as he turns to face her. You're kidding right, says Carly. You said you were my friend and you knew how I felt about Johnny, then you walk up to me and hand me that DVD. I was devastated Todd. I did that for your own good Carly, replies Todd, I told you Johnny was no good for you and that DVD proved it. Why did you even care, she says, it's not like we had a thing, all the while you were sleeping with your therapist. Because you were my friend and I think you deserved better than Johnny. Well you're right about one thing Todd, says Carly, I WAS your friend. Besides, she says, this wasn't something that Johnny did willingly. Todd is surprised by her statement. Yes Todd, I know the whole story. That girl on the DVD, you made her do it. I don't know what you're talking about, says Todd. Sure you do, says Carly, you knew about her hitting Lulu so you said you'd keep it hush hush if she would sleep with Johnny. I know it all Todd because she came to me feeling horrible for what she had done to me. Are you going to deny it Todd? No, he says, I did it. Carly shakes her head, wow I can't believe it, Todd Manning actually told the truth for once. That would make a great headline for your paper. What I don't understand is why you did that to Dee, says Todd. Carly responds, just like you Todd, I thought she wasn't good for you and that day she jumped me in your suite, you giving me the DVD, the confession from Moon, all bets were off and I reported her to the medical board. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. You hurt me through Johnny so I hurt you through Dee. Todd is silent for a moment, well then I guess that's it, but from now on, if you ever think of going after me, you better damn well leave Dee out of it or you'll regret it. Are you threatening me, she asks? No Carly I'm not, I'm promising. Todd turns and walks out.

Immediately Todd is on the phone to a realtor. I want something overlooking the harbor, preferably, a commercial building. I want to relocate my business and I would like to maybe use the top floor to construct a penthouse. Get on this right away, he hangs up. Todd arrives at my condo. Dee I want you to pack some bags. What for, I ask. You need to get away from here for a while, so I'm doing just that, taking you away. Where do you want to go, he asks, name it, I'll take you. But Todd, I say, this is all so sudden. C'mon, he says, it's not like you have a job to go to. I look at him. One of Todds many not so good traits is insensitivity. Then it dawns on him, what he just said. Oh Dee, what just came out of my mouth, I'm sorry, that was so wrong. It hurt, but then I say, well Todd, it's not like it isn't the truth, I have no job to go to anymore. He hugs me tight. Me and my big mouth, he says. So where are we going, he asks again. I have no idea, someplace tropical, how about the Caribbean? I have always wanted to go there I think to myself, I had the means but could never find the time. Sounds great, says Todd, he calls the airport to have his private jet fueled and ready to go. Todd are you going home to pack? Nah, he says, I'll just buy whatever I need there, in fact don't pack either, we'll buy you whatever you need too. Oh no Todd, please I don't want you doing that, I can buy my own things. Todd looks at me, you insult me Dee, I want to do this, so let me, don't argue. Todd wins.


	16. Chapter 16

Johnny is making a good recovery. Lulu Spencer Falconeri has been arrested for his shooting. The girl Moon had been a suspect in his shooting, but much to every ones surprise, Lulu came forward, turning herself in, claiming she shot Johnny because he had hurt her cousin Carly, humiliating her and breaking her heart. She had meant to just scare him, but she almost dropped the gun. It went off, resulting in Johnny being shot and almost dying. Lulu ran, just like the brown haired girl had run after hitting her with her car. Johnny never said he knew who had done it, he didn't want to hurt Carly again and after what he had done to Starr's family and to his own grandfather Anthony, he knew it would be the most hypocritical thing he could do. To save himself he would never reveal who his shooter was. Even though Lulu had surrendered, he never said she did it.

Johnny is sitting up trying to eat the not so appetizing food set before him. Nurse Epiphany Johnson walks in to check on his progress. Now Mr. Zacchara, am I going to have to force feed you? This looks awful, says Johnny. Well force yourself, says Epiphany, you need your strength if you want to get out of here. By the way, there is someone waiting to see you. What, more cops asking questions, says Johnny. No it's not the police, says the nurse, she opens the door. Johnny is actually hoping it is me, but in walks Carly. He smiles big. Hi there, says Carly. I can't believe it, says Johnny, you're here. How are you feeling, Carly asks. Better now that you're here. I wanted to come by sooner, but I was so angry with you. I know says Johnny, but Carly, you need to know that I... Carly interrupts, that you didn't sleep with that girl Moon willingly? I know you didn't, you were drugged, I know everything. But how, asks Johnny. Moon confessed it all to me, answers Carly. She didn't do it willingly either, she continues, someone made her do it. I don't understand, says Johnny, who would make her do that and why? Oh Johnny that's not important now, says Carly shaking her head. It is to me, tell me Carly, you know who made her do it? Carly hesitates for a moment then blurts out, Todd Manning. That son of a bitch, that fucking son of a bitch, says Johnny angrily. He is still attached to a heart rate monitor and it begins to beep faster. Johnny please calm, down, pleads Carly, I shouldn't have told you. Johnny takes several deep breaths and his heart rate slows. Tell me the rest Carly, I'll be alright. You have to stay calm Johnny because Epiphany will throw me out in a heartbeat, I'm not one of her favorite people, she exclaims. Okay I'll be calm, but I have to know, he says. Carly continues, Moon is the one who ran over Lulu, Todd saw it all, he threatened to turn her in unless she helped him. He told her he wanted her to seduce you by any means possible, even if she had to drug you, which she did. She was to tape it. She did so and gave it to to Todd which he in turn gave to me. He said he just wanted to break us up because I was his friend and that I deserved better. He wanted you for himself, says Johnny. That's just it Johnny, replies Carly, it doesn't make sense, because the whole time he was sleeping with his court appointed therapist, a Dr. Dee Dunning. Johnnys face pales. Dee Dunning, Todd and Dee, he thinks in confusion. Johnny what's the matter asks Carly, you look so far away. Oh nothing, answers Johnny, I just can't believe all of this. There is another thing that is bothering me, says Carly. What, asks Johnny. I really don't buy that Todd went to this extreme just because he wanted to break us up. There has to be more. I know he really hates you, but why? Is there something you're not telling me Johnny? No there isn't, Johnny lies. Tell me Carly, do the police know about this girl Moon hitting Lulu. No says Carly. Moon isn't going to turn herself in. Why don't you do it, asks Johnny, after all Lulu is your cousin. You're right, but after hearing her story and why she was running and all that Todd has done to her, I feel sorry for her, don't get me wrong, we are not friends, but she has gone through enough. I wish that I could turn Todd in for withholding evidence, but if he goes down for that, so will Moon, and so could I. I don't want it to go on any further, I won't be the one to do it, even though now I am in possession of this knowledge. Damn that Todd, I'm stuck in this tangled web now, exclaims a frustrated Carly. Johnnys thoughts are racing, Todd knows I killed his granddaughter and I know what he has done. And now there is Dee.

After Carly leaves, Johnny cannot stop thinking. Todd is with Dee, it can't be. I have to see Dee again, he thinks. He vaguely remembers when I visited him, did she say she worked here at General Hospital? He asks a nurse who tells him that I am no longer employed there. That bastard got her fired, thinks Johnny, not even knowing the whole truth. Whenever I get the hell out of here I have to see her, I have so many questions.


	17. Chapter 17

Todd and I are sitting on the balcony of a beautiful suite facing the ocean. Breathtaking, I say. Not as breathtaking as you, says Todd. The days and the nights are wonderful. Before I know it we have been here almost a month. One night, we take a walk along the beach. The moon is huge, reflecting on the beautiful clear Caribbean ocean. Todd pulls me by the hand and we head towards the water. Our clothes are now discarded and laying on the sand. We kiss, it leads to more and the water is surrounding us. The feel of his skin, the water feeling cool and hot all at the same time. There are sensations I have never felt before. After, as we still stand in the water embracing and sharing lingering kisses, Todd asks, Dee, do you know how much I love you? I think you just showed me, I say. He smiles, well in that case you must really love me a lot, he shoots back. Yes, that I do, I say, I love you so much. Then what should we do about it, says Todd. I look at Todd acting playfully confused, I thought we just did do something. Well yeah that, but I'm thinking something a little different he smiles. What, I ask. Todd says two words. Marry me.

I give Todd my answer without hesitation. Yes. The next day at breakfast when room service is brought up, I find a small lavender box with a ribbon on it sitting on my plate. Todd watches. As I open it, a beautiful heart shaped diamond ring is revealed with even more diamonds around the band. I'm actually speechless. Todd takes the ring from the box and slips it on my finger.

We are finally heading back to Port Charles after a month in paradise. Back to that town and to reality. On Todds private plane, I sit looking out on to the clouds, I'm on top of the world. Todd is on the phone with his editors. After that call, he phones Starr to tell her we are headed back. Todd comes and sits next to me after the call. I think you'll be getting a permanent roommate, he says. Really, you're going to move in, I ask. Yeah, he says, I don't want anything to do with Metro Court anymore either. I look at him with question. Why, I thought you loved it there? Once upon a time I did, why, don't you want your fiance' moving in? Oh you know I do, I answer. Good, because I already had all my clothes and personal effects sent to your place. And what if I had said no to your proposal, I ask. You weren't going to say no, how could you resist my charm, I'm so lovable. He is saying this with a very serious face. I look at him and shake my head. During the flight, I am sitting back, Todd is laying across the couch with his head in my lap. He is actually sleeping. I start to doze when I feel Todd begin to move. He begins tossing his head from side to side and he begins to mumble. I didn't mean to do it... I promise I won't touch your lighter again... no dad, don't, I'll be good. He jerks as if being hit. I watch and listen, I see he is beginning to sweat. He stops as suddenly as he began. Then without warning, he opens his eyes, looking straight up at the ceiling. His eyes then shift to me. I am looking back into them. He swallows hard, sits up and without a word, gets up and heads for the wash room. This time I don't follow. We had talked of his adoptive father Peter Manning during a few sessions, but Todd always seemed to stop short of revealing something more than he had about their relationship. He would become agitated and nervous. I have my suspicions about what had happened between Todd and his father, but it has to be up to him to want to say it. My heart aches for him, I can honestly say that I know what he is going through having had a monster for a father myself.

Todd did not speak about his nightmare. When I asked if he wanted to talk about it, he quickly changed the subject. As soon as we get back to Port Charles, I have to get him to his new therapist.

Finally we are home. Sure enough, Todds things had been delivered to my condo, or should I say our condo. We take a day or two to settle back in. One morning I stand watching Todd shave, getting ready to head to The Sun. I was thinking, I say, what good is it for you to have moved out of the Metro Court if you still have to go there to work? Todd continues shaving, believe me I thought about all that and all I can say is be ready this afternoon about three o'clock. I am totally confused, for what? What are you talking about, I was talking about The Sun, I say. So am I, says Todd, just be ready and I'll pick you up. I walk back into the bedroom still confused. I am getting used to Todds off the wall behavior, the way his mind functions. As a therapist you are trained to analyze and make sense of it, but when you actually live with someone such as Todd Manning, it takes a lot more. Starr is right, her father's way of thinking and rationalizing is certainly not the norm. But who's to say mine is. I love the man. For one thing he certainly isn't boring.

That afternoon Todd picks me up. Where are we going, I ask. You'll see, he says. We drive down to the piers. He parks. He takes me by the hand and we walk a little ways along the docks. He stops and we are standing before a structure, an old building that has recently been refurbished. This is it, says Todd. This is what, I ask. Look up, he says. I look up and see large platinum plated letters, MANNING ENTERPRISES. My mouth is open. Oh my gosh Todd, this is fantastic, what, when did you do all this? Todd is smiling, before we left for the Caribbean I started the ball rolling, I told them it had to be complete by the time we got back. C'mon, he grabs my hand and we head inside. It is truly magnificent. Welcome to the new Sun headquarters, he says. People are bustling about working. He gives me a tour. He is grinning ear to ear with his new acquisition. I have saved the best for last, he says. He leads me to a private elevator. Once inside he tells me, this elevator only goes up to one place. I notice he presses a button marked PH. We are headed to the top. The elevator opens, we step out and stand before two huge doors. He enters a code on the pad and uses a pass key to open them, all high security. The doors open to reveal the largest room I have ever seen, we enter. There is a winding staircase standing before a wall of windows. Words are escaping me. Well, what do think, asks Todd. I turn to look at him with astonishment. Say something, he says. Is this, are all the words I can get out before Todd says with excitement, this is our new home. I run to him and hug him so tight. His arms wrap around me. I did this for you, he says. I kiss him. He walks me to the huge windows. We are overlooking the harbor. We are living above The Sun and over the water he says. The view is fascinating. Out on the water we can see an Island. I think it's called Spoon Island, says Todd, and that ominous looking castle sort of thing on the island is called Wyndemere.

Although The Sun was up and running, the penthouse would not be completely finished for a few more weeks. Today is the day, Todd is meeting with his new therapist, Dr. Eric Campbell, a colleague of mine at General Hospital. Todd is apprehensive, I just know he is going to give this poor man a hard time, just like he did to me at first. Come with me, he says pulling me with him towards the door. Todd I can't, you'll be fine, Dr. Campbell is very good, he will help you. But you can help me too right? Yes I will Todd. I don't want to go, he says, like a kid headed for his first day of school. You have to Todd, the court says so, you don't want to be sent back to jail do you? Oh thanks for reminding me Dee, thanks a lot, he says sarcastically. I smile, Todd go, you're going to be late and please don't make Dr. Campbells life miserable. Okay, okay I'm going, but I need a good luck kiss. I give him just that and he is gone.

I am heading out to have lunch with Alexis Davis. She has become a friend. I had met her a few times when I was called to give expert testimony in cases involving people accused of crimes that were suffering from various types of mental illness. We hit it off, she was just about the only close acquaintance I have besides Todd. I tell her that Todd and I are getting married and her attorney side kicks in. Has he asked you to sign a pre-nup, she asks. What? No he hasn't, actually I hadn't even thought about it. Well if he does, don't sign. I don't want his money Alexis, I just want him. Yeah well from what I know about Todd Manning, you better re think that, she says. Alexis, I know all I need to know about him, I'll be fine. She sighs and says, if he gives you one you bring it to me so I can look it over, alright? I will, I say. As I am on my way home I begin to think, would Todd ask me to sign a pre-nup? I would just have to cross that bridge if I ever come to it.


	18. Chapter 18

This evening we are having dinner with Starr. I had wanted Todd to tell Starr about us getting married alone. I know that Starr has always wanted her mother and father together and I thought maybe they could talk things out without me there. But Todd insisted we do it together. Todd, I know what Starr thinks is very important to you, I say. Yes it is, but she will just have to understand that this is going to happen and that I love you, he says. Sometimes people have to accept things that they don't like, he continues. Oh you mean like you accept Starr and Michael Corinthos being together? Now that is totally different, he says, his voice getting a little louder. Different how, I ask. He is the son of a no good mobster and mark my word it won't be long before he puts my little girl in danger. If he so much as hurts one hair on her head, I'll kill him, I'll wipe the whole Corinthos clan off the face of the earth. What about his mother Carly, I ask. As soon as I ask that, I regret it. Carly will never be one of my favorite people I think to myself, but I wouldn't wish any harm on a mother or her children. Todd looks at me surprised with that question. Carly, says Todd, I would not want to hurt her, but she has crossed me. How, I ask. Todd turns to look at me, c'mon Dee, I know she is the one that turned you in to the board. You fought with her in my suite, then all of a sudden you don't want to set foot in her hotel and when you told me it wasn't crazy Kate that did it, it was all too obvious. I went to see her, he says. What, I exclaim. I confronted her and she admitted it, he says. I wanted to blurt out and just confront Todd myself about the DVD, why he wanted to break up Carly and Johnny, what is his connection to that girl Moon, why, what? However I let it go for now, I want this evening to be a good one. I calm Todd down and he promises to behave and not badger Starr about Michael.

The evening went better than I expected, Starr was actually happy, she hugged her father and hugged me as well. I really have come to care very much for this beautiful young lady. She is wise beyond her years. She has been through so much in the past months, losing her boyfriend Cole Thornhart and her precious little girl Hope. I would never attempt to take her mother Blair's place, but I will be proud to have her as my step daughter and I hope as my friend.

The wedding will be a very small affair in a small chapel. It will be Todd, myself, Starr, Michael and the minister, which Todd is not too comfortable with. My friend Alexis is out of town on a case and cannot attend. It's just as well, she isn't thrilled about my marrying Todd. Starr and I had to convince Todd to even set foot in the small church chapel. He keeps commenting that lightening is going to strike the small building once he enters. The ceremony is going along well. Starr and Michael are our witnesses. The last thing Todd wants is a Corinthos standing up for him, but he didn't want to upset Starr and especially me. Michael isn't crazy about the idea either, but he grins and bares it. Every time the two glance at each other, it's as if looks could kill you'd be lying on the floor. I am looking into Todds eyes and he into mine. We smile. The vows are traditional. I am so happy, this day cannot be any more perfect, that is until... The minister asks, do you Dee Kara Dunning take Thomas Todd Manning to be your wedded husband? Todd cringes when the minister says his first name "Thomas," he truly detests it. I do, I answer. And do you Thomas Todd Manning take Dee Kara Dunning to be your wedded wife? Before he can answer, a voice rings out from the entrance of the chapel...STOP!

We all turn towards the voice. There at the entrance to the chapel stands Blair. Stop, please Todd, don't do this. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. Todd is standing looking towards her. Starr is just as surprised, Mom! The expression on Todds face, I can't read it. He had been holding my hands in his about to say his I do, he lets go of them and turns towards Blair and begins to walk to her. No, I want to scream, but no sound is escaping my throat. I feel like I am about to faint. Michael catches me and holds on to me. Starr grabs Todds arm, dad please, no trouble, she whispers with worry washing over her face. He ignores her and continues his walk towards Blair. He finally reaches her, they are standing facing each other. I expect to see Todd scoop her up into his arms and run away with her, the love of his life, the mother of his children. Instead something so different takes place. Blair smiles faintly at Todd. Todd gazes at her face. This is it, it's over, my head is screaming, I've lost him. What the hell are you doing here, says Todd. His voice has a tone I have never heard before. I had to come to see you Todd, I have been so wrong, says an upset Blair. I should have never married Tomas. I can't stop thinking about you. The way we left things between us last time, she says. Between us, says Todd, there is no us. You made that perfectly clear Blair. I know, I know what I said, but I was wrong, I love you Todd. Todd shakes his head, no Blair, it's too late, I will always care for you, but I love Dee. You made your choice and you married him. Love him or not, that is your problem. Now before this gets any uglier, I suggest you get the hell out of here and go back to Llanview and take care of your husband Mrs. Delgado.

Todd turns and walks away from her and back to me at the alter. No Todd, cries Blair as she buries her face in her hands sobbing. Starr runs to her mother. Michael is still holding on to me as I tremble. Todd doesn't look back at her again. He takes me from Michaels arms and into his. I can't speak. Starr walks her mother out of the chapel, Michael follows after them. It's alright Dee, Todd says in such a soft comforting voice, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Let's finish what we started, let's get married. I look up into his eyes searching them for any lingering doubt that maybe he still wants to run and go after Blair. He smiles at me and I know and feel that he truly loves me. The minister continues where we had left off. Todd says his I do. Before I know it we are Mr. and Mrs. Todd Manning.


	19. Chapter 19

We did not go away on a honeymoon, instead we spend it in our newly finished penthouse. I am still feeling rattled about the whole scene with Blair. I can't seem to forget it. Todd is bending over backwards trying to reassure me. When did I become so insecure? Knowing Todd and Blairs past, it is hard not think that these two are connected. Of course through their children, but I fear there is much more. We are all moved in to our new place. I am spending my free time, which I have a lot of since losing my job, decorating this huge space. One afternoon I decide to go down stairs and see Todd. He is sitting behind his desk discussing the next edition with his lead editor Jacob Turner. Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I say, stopping in the doorway. Oh it's quite alright Mrs. Manning, says Jacob, Mr. Manning and I are done. Mrs. Manning, I still can't believe I am Mrs. Manning. Jacob leaves and closes the door behind him. Well what a nice surprise, says Todd, he stands and comes to me and kisses me. I just thought I'd come down to say hello. Hello, says Todd. I smile. Todd I need to do something, I need to get a job, but being a therapist is all I know, what am I going to do? You don't need to work ever again, says Todd, just be my wife. Oh yes, I say, maybe I should start my own T.V. show, "The Real Housewives of Port Charles." Todd laughs, hey that's not such a bad idea, I own a T.V. station you know. Todd I'm serious. I know, I know, he says, as he sits on the edge of his desk. I stand in front of him, his arms around my waist. Why don't you work with me here at The Sun? I look at him with surprise, Todd I don't know the first thing about the newspaper business. Neither did I when I first started, he says. I shake my head, I don't know, I had never thought about it, I just don't know. What would your employees think, oh great, now the ball and chain is sticking her nose in the business. Who cares what they think, says Todd, and if they don't like it I'll just fire them. Do you honestly think, he continues, that most of the people here like me? Hell no they don't, but I don't pay them to like me, I pay them to work, and work hard. So what do you say, he asks smiling at me and watching my lips. Let me think about it okay? We kiss. I guess I'll just have to do some really serious and hard convincing upstairs tonight, he says in a low sexy voice. You do that Mr. Manning I respond, and you just might get me to do anything.

My condo has been sold, the new buyer is taking ownership later today. I go to look around my old place, I know nothing has been left behind, the movers Todd hired were very thorough. I guess I just want to say goodbye to it, I really loved it. I am standing on the terrace, I turn to leave and I stop dead in my tracks. Standing before me is Johnny Zacchara. Hello Dee, he says. Johnny what are you doing here? How did you know where I live or used to live? How did you know I would be here? All these questions are just spilling from my mouth. You forget, Johnny says, I have my ways. By the way, congratulations on your marriage. So you're now married to the famous Todd Manning, lucky you, he says sarcastically. What do you want Johnny? You came to see me in the hospital, why, he asks. I told you, I just wanted to see how you were doing, I answer. Really, is that all, I think not, he smirks. It's been a long time Dee, you really look good, beautiful. Thank you, but I really have to go, I say as I try to walk past him. He stops me by grabbing my arm. Not so fast, he says, you and I have unfinished business. You have a lot to explain. Explain, I don't know what you mean, I say. Let go of my arm you're hurting me. Dee I have waited a long time and you're not going anywhere. You're going to tell me everything, answer all my questions. He let's go of me. Alright, I say rubbing my arm, but not here, the new owner will be here any minute. Johnny goes and closes the door and locks it. I stand there scared. Don't worry about that, says Johnny, dangling keys in front of me, because I'm the new owner, so no interruptions for us.

Why did you do it Dee, why did you walk out on me all those years ago, without a word, without any thing. And I want the truth, he says, I deserve to know. I close my eyes. My mind is going back in time, why hide it anymore. Dee tell me already, why? You know how much I loved you, says Johnny. I had to go Johnny, I couldn't go on in that life style, I say. I had been wanting to leave, I told you so and I wanted you to leave with me. But you said you couldn't show disloyalty to your father, Anthony. So I stayed, just to be with you, because I loved you. But you and I were kids, I continue, what did we know? One night Anthony came to see me. He threatened me, he told me to leave. He said if I didn't disappear he would make me disappear himself. He was grooming you to someday take over the family business and he didn't want you mixed up with a dancer in his nightclub. He threw some money at me. I remember he said I should be used to men throwing it at me and he laughed. I picked it up and threw it back in his face. I said I wasn't afraid of him and that I was going to tell you. He laughed again and said that you wanted nothing to do with me because he had already told you that I was sleeping with one of his goons. Did he tell you that Johnny? Johnny answers, yes he did, he said you were sleeping with Bruce, his right hand man, and of course Bruce said it was true. And you believed them without any proof, I ask. Yes I did, I was a fool, says Johnny, you had broken my heart and I was angry, but I still loved you. I went to see you anyway Johnny, I continue, I had something else I needed to tell you, but when I got to the club I went to your office and I saw you with that other dancer, Sherri. I knew it was over, that's when I felt someone grab me and cover my mouth. It was Anthony, he dragged me out into the alley. I thought I told you to disappear he said. I told him I needed to tell you something, but your father already knew. Knew what, Johnny shouts desperately. That I was pregnant, I shout back. I begin to cry. Johnny is standing there stunned. I continue through my sobs, Anthony told me to disappear and get rid of the baby or he would. I knew then that I had to do it, vanish. Johnny speaks, you were pregnant with my baby, why didn't you tell me before Anthony went to see you? I was, but then there he was, threatening me again and again. So you got rid of it, asks Johnny angrily. I thought about it, I thought I can't bring a child into this world, I'm just a kid myself and this baby's father and grandfather are mobsters. But the more I thought, I decided I couldn't do it, I couldn't end this life. So I had the baby and I gave it up for adoption, hoping that a wonderful family would adopt her and give her a normal life. Her? You said her, says Johnny. Yes Johnny I did, I had a little girl. We have a daughter, somewhere out there we have a daughter. Johnny is shaken, I can see tears in his eyes. There is a long silence between us until he speaks. I was eighteen, you were seventeen, so our daughter is... she is eighteen I say. Do you know who adopted her, asks Johnny. No I answer, it was a closed adoption. As I stand there I think to myself that there isn't a day that I haven't thought about her, and when I met Todd's daughter Starr, I couldn't help but immediately like her and long for the child I had given up. My cell rings, it is Todd. I have to answer Johnny, it's Todd. Of course, he says, Todd beckons and everyone jumps. I tell Todd that I will meet him for dinner, he notices my voice is different. I assure him that I am fine and we end the call. So I take it that Todd doesn't know any of this, says Johnny. No I answer, I haven't told him any of it and please don't you say anything to him. Me, he says surprised, why the hell would I want to talk to him about anything? I know you two hate each other, but I don't know why, I say. Well then I guess you and Todd have secrets you both don't want the other to know about, he replies. Johnnys remark could not be any more true. I'm sorry Johnny, about all of this, I suppose this all would have never come out, but I came to Port Charles and here you were also. Johnny walks to the door, unlocks it and opens it. Go, he says. I walk out without a word, I look back at Johnny, he looks at me with disbelief and sadness and slowly closes the door.

I am so shaken. The truth is finally out. I knew when I recognized Johnny on that DVD that this was inevitable. I don't want to face Todd tonight. I know we have dinner plans, but I just want to be alone. I have to think. How to broach this subject with Todd. I had once been in love with Johnny Zacchara, I had been a dancer in his father Anthony's New York club and that I had been pregnant and gave away my baby. Johnny's baby. Johnny, Todds sworn enemy.


	20. Chapter 20

Todd opens the door to his office ready to leave for the evening and meet me for dinner. There standing at his door is Police Commissioner Anna Devane and a uniformed officer. Good Evening Mr. Manning, just the man I want to see. Todd tries to play it cool, do what do I owe the pleasure commissioner? I need you to come down to the station, says Anna, I have some questions I would like to ask you. Can't you ask them here, says Todd. No, says Anna, I prefer handling this on my turf, so if you don't mind? Yes I mind, says Todd, what is this all about, I have a right to know. Yes you do Mr. Manning, and I will tell you at the station. Listen Commissioner, as much as I would love to visit your charming little station, I have somewhere else I have to be. Todd reaches in his jacket for his cell phone. Anna and the officer thinking he is pulling a weapon, quickly draw their guns. Whoa, says Todd, throwing up his hands, I was just getting out my phone. I'm glad to know that the PCPD is on the ball, but bring it down a notch, geez. Alright Mr. Manning, enough already, you're coming with me, says Anna. But I told you I have... Before Todd can finish his sentence, Anna grabs his arm twisting it behind his back. Ow, ow, ow...okay, okay I'm going, I'm going, says Todd. Why do they always want to do it the hard way, says Anna. The uniformed officer grabs Todd by the back of his collar pushing him out of the building towards the patrol car. Employees of Manning Enterprises stop and stare in shock. Todd smiles at them as he is dragged by and says, nothing to see here, please disburse and get back to work. Once at the station the officer pushes Todd into the interrogation room. Commissioner Devane will be with you shortly, and he slams the door behind him. Gee thanks, says Todd. He walks around the room thinking, is this about Johnny and the little visit I paid him at GH? He begins to pace, as he looks up, he catches his reflection in the two way mirror. He fixes his collar after it was twisted and rumpled by the officer. He runs his fingers through his hair and straightens his jacket. He begins to practice his innocent looking face in the mirror, changing his expressions. What the hell is he doing, says Anna, as she watches from the other side. She shakes her head. Todd finally slumps into the chair tapping the table with his fingers. The door opens and Anna walks in. Todd immediately sits up straight and smiles. Anna smiles back and sits opposite him. So, says Todd, are you finally going to tell me why you dragged me here, literally? Tell me Mr. Manning. Please, call me Todd. Thanks but no, says Anna, still smiling. Tell me, do you know this young lady? She slides a picture to him. Todd looks at the face in the photo. No I don't, he says. Really, says Anna, look again. He picks up the picture, and being the smart ass that he is, holds it at least one inch from his face. Nope, is all he says. That's interesting because she was brought in here a while back for Johnny Zacchara's shooting, says Anna. But she didn't do it right, says Todd, it was Lulu Falconeri. Yes, it was indeed, says Anna. But when she was questioned, she mentioned your name. She said that you and she had business together. Todd swallows hard. He looks at her picture again. Oh yes, now I remember, he pretends, she had a funny name, ahh what was it? Todd fakes trying to recall. Todd hears a voice answer, a voice he knows all too well. Her name is Moon. Todd looks up to see John McBain standing in the doorway, hands in pockets.

Todd rolls his eyes, oh no, is this my lot in life, to be shadowed constantly by you McBain? John manages a small smile, hey you know what they say, where there's trouble, there's Todd. Who says that, asks Todd. I did, just now, says John, didn't you hear me? Todd frowns at John and turns back to Anna. Okay commissioner, what is this really all about? What is going on with this Moon girl? She's missing, answers Anna. And you think I had something to do with it, asks Todd annoyed. I don't know, says Anna, did you? Hell no, I hardly know her, Todd says, his voice getting louder. You don't have to know someone well to make them disappear, says John. Does he have to be in here, Todd asks Anna. Yes Mr. Manning he does, he is working this missing person's case, so like it or not, Lt. McBain stays. Look, says Todd, I have not seen this girl Moon since months ago. We had a business arrangement and that was all. Unless I'm being charged with something I demand you let me out of here. Alright says Anna, you're free to go, but don't go too far, I just might want to chat with you again. John stands silent, leaning against the wall watching Todd closely. Todd gets up to leave, before he exits he rubs his arm, the one that Anna had twisted. Commissioner Devane, for being such a petite little thing you are one tough cookie, you definitely have my vote come election time. Anna shoots back, people with criminal records can't vote, but thank you anyway, sarcasm in her voice. She smiles at him and waves her fingers bye at him. Todd smirks and walks out.

My phone rings. It is Todd. I am about to tell him that I am not up for dinner when he tells me that he is at the police station. He asks me to pick him up since he had been taken there by patrol car. My mind is racing, why is he there? He tells me he will explain everything to me once we are home. I pull up to the station and find Todd outside leaning against the brick exterior. On the drive home, not much is said. He isn't talking much yet and I certainly am not going to talk about my run in with Johnny. Not until I can figure out how to tell Todd. Once upstairs in the penthouse, Todd takes off his jacket and pours himself a scotch. He pours me one as well. Tonight I truly need it. Okay Todd, I say, what happened? He sighs loud and heavily, where do I start? The beginning is a good place, I say. Do you remember several months ago when a girl named Lulu Spencer Falconeri was hit by a car, asks Todd. I remember I say, I read it in The Sun and saw it on the news, a hit and run I believe. Oh my God Todd, do the police think you did it? No, no he says, let me finish. I'm sorry, I say, go on. Well let's just say that I found out who did it, he continues. How, I ask, and who? The how doesn't matter but the who, that's another story. Who was it then, who hit Lulu? Then I hear that name. It was a girl named Moon, says Todd, he laughs, it's funny all this time and I don't even know her last name. Anyway, he continues, at the time Carly and I were getting closer, he looks at me and he sees my facial expression change at the mention of Carly's name. Of course this was before I began my therapy with you and became attracted to and intrigued by you, but by then I had already set everything in motion with this Moon girl. And what was it Todd, what did you set in motion, I ask. I blackmailed her into sleeping with Johnny Zacchara so I could break he and Carly up. I thought I wanted her then, but it became clear to me that she loved him and I was already falling for you. I told Moon that I wouldn't turn her in if she did this and she did. She taped it and I gave the recording to Carly. It worked, and Carly dumped Johnny. Todd I know about the DVD, I hear myself say. What, he exclaims in surprise. I saw you talking to Moon at the hospital, I saw her hand you the envelope and the next day I took it out of your drawer and watched it. I didn't understand why and what was going on, I'm sorry I never told you. I expect Todd to be angry, instead he smiles and says, you're just as sneaky as I am, I don't know if that's a good thing. So, I ask, why did the police take you in? It was just for questioning, says Todd, it seems that Moon is missing. I am stunned and I look at Todd. Hey, says Todd, don't look at me like that, I had nothing to do with her disappearance, but it really doesn't bother me that she's missing. Do the police know about the rest, everything you just told me, I ask. Hell no, and I wasn't about to tell them and he shoots me a look. Don't worry, I say I'm not going to say anything. I am thinking to myself, there is more to the reason he hates Johnny so much, but he isn't going to tell me, not now if ever. At least he told me about the blackmail. I have to tell him about Johnny and when I do, it isn't going to be pretty. Todd has gone upstairs to shower. I stand before the huge wall of windows looking out onto the water. I gaze upon the castle Wyndemere all the time unaware that Moon is being held captive there.


	21. Chapter 21

I head upstairs to get ready for bed. Todd is already in bed but doing some work on his tablet. I glance at him. His face, it seems to show no concern for anything that has transpired earlier this evening. I shower. I enter the bedroom again. Todd is still working. Todd, I say. He looks up at me. I've made a decision, I want to work with you at The Sun. He smiles, that's great, you can come down with me tomorrow. I want to learn everything, I say, everything about The Sun and Manning Enterprises. I crawl into bed, straddling him. I take the tablet from him and put it aside. But right now Mr. Manning, no more work. Yes dear, he says playfully, absolutely no more work. I kiss him, my hair falling down and around his face. He moans into my mouth. The vibration sends shivers through me. I want him so much at this very moment. Todd picks up on my eagerness as I begin to devour him. He flips me over onto my back, his eagerness is just as rampant as mine. He smells intoxicating, he feels magnificent, he sounds wonderful. This happens several times again during the night, so many different ways. He has me weak but satisfied, yet wanting more of him. We are sitting on the floor up against the bed. Some how we have ended up down here. The bedding is twisted and laying everywhere. I notice that we have knocked over and broken a lamp. The art work above our bed is crooked. Todd looks around, looks like a hurricane hit this place, Hurricane Dee to be exact. What got into you tonight? My head is resting on his chest, my fingers running through the golden hair on it. You did, I answer, you are the sexiest man I have ever seen or will ever want to see. Todd replies, no don't say that. Yes Todd it's true, you need to hear it. I look up at him and into his hazel eyes, I love you Todd, remember that, no matter what happens, I love you so much. He gives me a weird look, what's going to happen, he asks. I'm thinking to myself, a mighty storm is coming and who knows where that will leave us. It's just a figure of speech, I say. Well then, he says, the same goes for me, no matter what happens, I love you Dee. We kiss and we fall asleep still sitting on the floor against the bed and holding on to each other for dear life.

I throw myself into my work at The Sun, learning everything I can. I actually like all of it and Todd has been patient teaching me all he can. At first I thought that his employees would resent me, but they have been so helpful and kind. I don't see why Todd is so hard on them and I find myself doing damage control between him and them a lot of the time. The work has kept my mind off things. I know it has been too calm and I also know better than to think it will last. Todd has been seeing his therapist Dr. Campbell regularly. He is still having nightmares, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder just doesn't go away, if ever. The symptoms may lessen, but it is always there. Tonight will be one of the nights Todd truly frightens me.

After a long day and a quick dinner Todd and I finally decide to turn in. He goes to shower as I shut lights off downstairs. I could do it by remote, but I always like to look out of the large windows onto the harbor before turning in. Todd steps out of the shower and wipes the fog off the bathroom mirror and there she is again. Irene. Hello my son. Todd shuts his eyes tightly hoping she will be gone when he opens them. No such luck. I'm still here, she says. Go away, says Todd. Is that anyway to talk to your mother, she says. Todd had not seen her in a month or so and thought she was gone for good. Did you miss me, she asks. What do you want from me, asks Todd desperately. I want you to open your eyes son. That pretty thing you married doesn't love you. Why do you think she wants to know everything about your business? Because she wants to take it all from you. No, no that's a lie, she loves me, replies Todd, his head hanging down. You're lying, leave me alone, Todd pleads. I'm not the one lying, says Irene, why don't you ask your bride about the secrets she is keeping from you. Shut up, shut the fuck up, Todd says angrily. Oh my, such language, you must have learned that from your father Peter. If you don't believe me why don't you ask her, whispers Irene. Todd can't take it anymore, he covers his ears and yells at the top of his lungs. Downstairs I hear Todd cry out. I run up the stairs and burst into the bathroom. Todd looks at me. I don't recognize him. He charges towards me grabbing me by the arms and pinning me against the wall so hard that I lose my breath. Todd stop please, It's me Dee. I told you to leave me the fuck alone you lying bitch, growls Todd. What are you talking about Todd, it's me, look at me. His grip on me is becoming tighter and I see the hatred in his eyes. Todd who do you see, who am I, I manage to ask through on coming tears and pain. You're Irene, he answers, and I'm going to get rid of you once and for all. No Todd, I'm Dee, Irene is not here, please believe me. Todd I love you, I love you, I love you. I keep repeating it hoping he hears me. His eyes change, his face changes and he realizes what he is doing and let's go of me. I collapse onto the floor. Todd staggers back and then falls to his knees, he grabs his hair and pulls. Oh my God, I'm losing my mind, he cries. I catch my breath and manage to get to him. I approach him cautiously. He looks up at me, he tries to speak, Dee I'm so... I know, I know baby, I say, she's gone and I'm here. I take him in my arms and rock him as we sit on the cool slate of the bathroom floor. I feel a tear fall from his eyes onto my arm and I cry too. I will have to call Dr. Campbell. My husband is breaking into a million pieces, along with my heart.

Dr. Campbell arrives at the penthouse. I have managed to put Todd into bed. He lay there just staring at nothing, not saying a word. Dr. Campbell and I discuss the evening's events, every last detail. He sees that I am very shaken. I had dealt with this behavior before in my practice, but this is different, it is my husband suffering and he is becoming more aggressive and violent. Did he hurt you Dee, asks Dr. Campbell. He didn't know who I was, I say. He thought I was his mother Irene and he wanted to kill me. This is very serious, I'm thinking maybe I should have Todd check into Shady Brook for a little while, says the doctor. I can have more one on one treatment with him there. I close my eyes, the thought of Todd at Shady Brook hurts. He will never go for it, I say. I know that Dee, but as his therapist, I can have him committed saying that he poses a danger to himself and others, especially you. The word committed never bothered me before, but now it is the most awful word I have ever heard where my husband is concerned. No, I say, I can't allow it. He will never go. Damn right I won't go. Dr. Campbell and I turn to see Todd standing at the top of the staircase looking angry. I am no way going to the nut house. Todd I was just suggesting a more intensive treatment, says Dr. Campbell. Yeah right, says Todd, the next thing I know you will be hooking me up to all kinds of torture devices and wanting to scramble my brains. In case you've forgotten Doc, I just escaped from eight years of just that kind of treatment, so no thanks. I go to Todd, he is now downstairs. I take his hand, it's alright Todd you don't have to go, but I think you should at least consider getting on some meds. When I was still his therapist I had prescribed medication for anxiety and depression which he never filled, but now with his PTSD symptoms becoming more frequent he would have to take them. I don't want pills, says Todd. Dr. Campbell speaks, Todd as your therapist I have to insist you take these medications or I will have to put in my report to the court and the judge that you are refusing treatment and subsequently you will be put back in jail. Todd looks at the doctor and then at me. Please Todd, I say, please do what Dr. Campbell says. I don't want you going back to jail and I know you don't want that either. You have started your new life here in Port Charles, you have Manning Enterprises. And your children Jack, Dani and little Sam, they wouldn't want that, you might not think so, but they need you. And especially Starr. At the mention of her name, Todds facial expression softens. Starr would be especially heart broken, she needs you here Todd, to protect her, she loves you so much. Todd sighs and closes his eyes, alright Dr. Campbell, prescribe whatever I need. After the doctor leaves, Todd is standing looking out of the windows onto the harbor. I sit on the couch and rub my arms where Todd had grabbed me. My back is aching from hitting the wall so hard. I'm sorry Dee, says Todd. He turns to face me. I remember what happened, I thought you were Irene and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm so sorry I hurt you, his voice begins to break. He sits besides me, I love you and I didn't mean to do that to you, I hate myself for what I'm putting you through. You need to go, get away from me and be safe. I look at Todd, you are my husband and we are in this together, I love you. When I told you about your family needing you, that includes me too. I need you. Todd looks at me and gives me a very slight smile. C'mon, I say, let's go to bed, you need to sleep. He takes my hand and we go upstairs.


	22. Chapter 22

Two weeks have passed. Todd is taking his medications. He is feeling better, the nightmares have decreased and there have not been any Irene sightings. One morning I am having coffee and watching T.V. before I head downstairs to The Sun. Todd has already gone down. I am watching the early edition of the local news. I can't believe what I am hearing, Moon has been found, she was being held prisoner at Wyndemere. Every night before bed, I gaze out across the harbor and upon the castle. She was there all along. Being held by a member of The Cassadine family. She had fled to Port Charles, trying to get away from Nikolas Cassadine and his horrid grandmother Helena. She had apparently aborted their baby and Helena was holding her hostage in their castle. She is safe, but there has been an officer shot attempting to save her. It is Lt. John McBain. I immediately rush down to Todds office. I walk through the door. There is Todd and his lead editor Jacob with two front page mock ups ready to go. One reads "Moon Held Captive On Spoon" the other reads "Shots Fired, McBain Feels The Pain." Todd is grinning ear to ear. I was rushing down to tell you the news I say, but it's clearly obvious you already know. Isn't it great, exclaims Todd. His editor is just as excited. No wonder these two get along so great, they both have morbid sense of humors. I look at both of them with disbelief. I know The Sun is a paper that uses sensationalism to attract readers, but Todds attitude about Moons kidnapping and Johns shooting is disturbing. Even though I have learned so much about the paper and what sells, I don't find the same enthusiasm that these two do in other people's tragedies and pain. Maybe this isn't for me after all. I'll come back later I say. Hey wait Dee, says Todd, what do think of our headlines? I think they are awful, I answer. Good, says Todd turning to Jacob. We'll run with these two. Jacob rushes past me getting ready to send them to print. I stand there shaking my head. What, says Todd, it's not like Moon is one of your favorite people. Are you forgetting what she and Carly did to you? And you know that John McBain sure as hell isn't one of my faves, he continues. Let me get this straight Todd, you're actually happy about what happened to them? Great headlines make me happy, he says smiling, besides John's a cop, his getting shot was bound to happen sooner or later. After all this time with Todd, I would think nothing he says or does would shock me anymore, but he continues to amaze me. Todd we have to talk, I say. Uh oh, that doesn't sound good, says Todd, but before you say anything, the answer is no. What, I ask confused. No, I won't give you a divorce, he answers. Now I'm really confused. Todd I wasn't going to ask you that, what the hell is the matter with you? You weren't, whew, that's a relief, he says sitting back in his chair wiping his brow. I stand looking at him in amazement. He starts to laugh, hey lighten up Dee, I'm just messing with you. Well don't, I say, I'm not in the mood. He stands and comes around his desk and puts his arms around my waist, well I think I know what will put you in the mood, and he starts kissing my neck. No Todd, I say pushing him away, I'm serious. So am I, he says between kisses. I break free of his hold, I don't think this is for me, working here at the Sun. His expression is surprise. What? But I thought you liked working with me? Working with you is great, I say, but I just don't have the stomach for shock value. Maybe I can work in some other area of your media empire. Todd eyes me, do you think you could run a fashion magazine? I look up at him, I think so, I've learned enough here at the paper, it can't be much different except for the gory stories. Then Crimson is yours, he says. Wait, I say, didn't you sign that over to Kate Howard so she wouldn't expose us? Yes, he answers, but now that is ancient history, I can take it back, I was just waiting for the right time. How are you going to do that, I ask, didn't you both sign a contract? Todd chuckles, yes and no. Anyway, it's time for us to stick it to crazy Kate/Connie for her putting you through hell when you were her doctor, he says. So just let me take care of that nut and Crimson Magazine is all yours. I don't want to be that person anymore I think to myself, the selfish, sneaky vindictive woman I had been. But I have to admit, getting back at Connie is making me smile.

In the weeks since Todd had signed over Crimson to Kate Howard many things had happened. Not only for us, but for others in Port Charles. Kate Howard has all but disappeared and Connie Falconeri is in control. She has taken the magazine from high fashion to gawdy. She and Sonny Corinthos were to be married, but she broke down in the middle of their nuptials and revealed that she and one of his hench men Milo were having a torrid affair. Starr moved in with Michael Corinthos, which almost made Todds head explode. I remember trying to calm him down after Starr broke the news to us, he was ready to go snap Michael's neck. John McBain has made a full recovery after being shot and from what I know, Moon is still in Port Charles. Helena Cassadine disappeared as well as her grandson Nikolas. I don't know much about Carly and I don't care to. As for Johnny Zacchara, I have steered clear of him which has not been easy. Starr is still singing at his club, The Haunted Star. Todd and I have been to see her perform, but I always manage to avoid him and of course Todd wants nothing to do with him, so we keep our distance. But as we are enjoying Starrs set, I always feel Johnny's eyes burning through me. How much longer will it be before this secret is revealed? It's ripping me up inside, I have to tell Todd, why haven't I done so already? Plain and simple, I'm very frightened of what Todd might do.

Todd heads to The Metro Court. Crimson Magazine is still located there. As Todd is waiting for the elevator, he hears a voice. Hello Todd. He turns to see Carly, what brings you here, it's been a long while. I have something to take care of at Crimson, says Todd. He turns and faces the elevator being totally indifferent to Carly. I read that you and Dee were married, congratulations, she says. Todd turns and looks at her with disbelief, really Carly? What do you care, why are you playing nicey nicey now? Look Todd, she says, I just miss being friends and I know it got ugly between us, but I wish somehow we could bury the hatchet. Bad choice of words Carly, says Todd, what you did to Dee after what I did to Johnny, it's a wonder we didn't bury the hatchet in each other's heads. I won't apologize for getting Dee fired, says Carly, just like I know damn well you won't apologize for what you did to Johnny. You're right Carly, says Todd, I will never apologize for that, so there you have it. There can never be a friendship between us again. The elevator door opens, just as he is about to step in, Carly speaks. Just so you know Todd, it didn't work, Johnny and I are working our way back to each other, you couldn't break us apart. Todd holds the elevator door and turns to her, and just so you know Carly, I married the woman I love and she is the only friend I'll ever need. The elevator door closes.

Todd bursts through the doors of Crimson Magazine walking right past the reception desk and through Connies office door. Maxie Jones is with Connie. What the hell do you think you're doing, shouts Connie. Todd looks at Maxie and says, get lost. Hey, says Connie, you can't talk to my assistant like that. Oh, excuse me, says Todd, I'm sorry Miss Jones, would you get lost, please. Maxie looks at Connie. Connies true D.I.D. self comes out, you heard the man, get lost. Maxie frowns and wants to cry and storms out. Todd slams the door shut behind her. Connie smiles, so what brings you to Crimson? Oh I know, she says before he can answer, you finally decided you wanted a real woman and not that fancy shmancy wife of yours. She looks at her watch, I have some time Toddy, so why don't you lock the door and we can get down to business. She pushes her papers off the desk and turns to face Todd. Todd is thinking, okay, I'm going to roll with this a bit, this woman is desperately nuts. She rips open the front of her blouse revealing her bright pink push up bra. She leans back against her desk, smiling in anticipation. Todd walks toward her with a sly smile. He moves in closer, Connie begins running her hands over his body and inhales, closing her eyes, damn you smell good. Todd lets her have her fun. I knew you would come to your senses, says Connie as she continues pawing him. She begins to unbutton his shirt and then to undo his belt. Todd brushes his lips dangerously close to hers and speaks, one thing before we do this Connie. Connie is lost in her want for him, yeah what is it, she says breathlessly, trying to unzip his pants. I want you to do something for me, he says softly. Oh yeah anything baby, purrs Connie. I want you to get lost as well, get the hell out of this office and out of Crimson Magazine. Connie stops in mid unzip, What? You heard me, Todd says grabbing her hands away from his zipper. He pushes her away and steps back, he zips up, buttons his shirt, tucks it back in and buckles his belt. Connie is confused but angry as all out hell. Are you outta your mind, she shouts. Todd starts to laugh, did you just ask me if I'm out of my mind? You're bananas and you're asking me that? Then just as quickly as he began to laugh, he turns deadly serious. Oh Connie, you have no idea how out of my mind I really am. We signed a contract Todd remember, you signed it over to me, says Connie angrily. Crimson Magazine is mine. I don't know what you're talking about, says Todd. Connie goes to her safe, opens it and pulls out the contract. You remember this? She waves the papers in his face. You signed it, I signed it and your lawyer signed it. Todd shrugs his shoulders, what are you talking about? Connie opens up the contract, look dammit, look at the signatures, everything written on here. Todd takes the papers from her and looks at them. I don't see anything, he says. Are you blind, she yells grabbing the papers back. She begins looking them over. What the hell, what the hell, what is going on here? Looking at the contracts, she sees that every supposed detail of the transfer is gone, all the signatures are gone. She looks up at Todd, how did you do this, she says desperately. Todd smiles, remember that nice gold pen you took from me and put right in between there, he says as he points at her cleavage. All the while Connie has been ranting and raving with her blouse open. She looks down at herself and then back up at Todd. Disappearing ink pen, he says with big smile, you can get them at any magic store. Connie goes to slap him, he catches her by the wrist and squeezes hard making her wince. Get your things and get out, he says. He lets go. Connie buttons her blouse, she is furious. Why did you let me run the magazine for all this while, she asks. I needed someone to do it until I could find a more suitable editor, says Todd. Someone with way more fashion sense, I mean really Connie, who wears this stuff you have in this thing, hookers? Bar flies? The cast of Jersey Shore? Connie squints her eyes at Todd, you're going to pay for this Todd Manning, this isn't over. Yeah it is, it's over, says Todd as he grabs her and pushes her out of the office and through the reception area. Everyone employed there is in shock. She is finally out. Todd claps his hands, attention everyone, Kate Howard, Connie Falconeri, whoever, is no longer your boss. I am. I am Mr. Todd Manning and you're all fired. So everyone get your things and go. Everyone is leaving, some cursing at him as they exit. It's something he is used to, it's nothing new to him. Just then he turns to see Maxie Jones walking out with her arms full of her things, she is crying. Why do you hate me so much Mr. Manning? I've always done my best for you and this magazine. She sniffles and heads for the door. Wait, says Todd, Maxie turns, you're not fired, you will still be the assistant to the new editor of Crimson. Maxie wipes her nose and smiles through her tears, Oh Thank You Mr. Manning, I will continue to do my best. Frankly I hated what Ms. Howard had done to Crimson, it was awful and cheap. Todd stands there thinking, there is that voice again, my ears are starting to ring. He holds up his hand and stops her from speaking further. Okay Miss Jones, I'll call you when we move operations of Crimson to Manning Enterprises. He begins to usher her back out the door. Oh one more thing if I may, says Maxie, who is the new editor? Todd smiles wide and answers, my wife.


	23. Chapter 23

Now Crimson magazine headquarters are located at the Manning Enterprises building. We take a whole floor and I am loving this job. I find that I have a knack for this. I love my new office and I really like my assistant Maxie Jones. It took a little while to straighten things out with the mag after Connie turned it into fashion for street walkers. From what Todd told me, it was not a pretty scene when he threw Connie out, but he did say that he enjoyed it thoroughly. I just wish he had not fired everyone, it wasn't their fault they were working for a very mentally unstable person. Finally, the new Crimson magazine is ready to roll out. Everything about high fashion is back in place. To celebrate, Todd and I are going out to dinner. Let's invite Starr and Michael, I say to Todd. Starr yes, says Todd, but not Mobster Jr. Please Todd, I say, like it or not, they are together, besides I like Michael. He is nothing at all like his father. She's my little girl Dee and actually no one will ever be good enough for her, replies Todd. I know that you two have a special bond but she is a grown woman Todd, I say. Todd makes a face and nods no. Yes, she's an adult and you have to accept that she can make her own decisions. Alright, he says, but what I said before still goes. What is that, I ask. If he harms one hair on her head, I'll kill him. Oh, I say, I don't doubt that you will.

Michael what's wrong, asks Starr. I went to see my dad, he's in a bad way, he answers. Since Kate dumped him at the alter and now Jason is missing, he's not good. The news is saying that Jason's dead, says Starr. They never found his body, so technically he is missing, says Michael. Starr, I want to find whoever did this, I want to go to work for my father. Starr is shocked, no Michael no, you can't do that, it's too dangerous and it's not who you are. I am my father's son and I want to do this, I have to do this, says Michael. But what about school Michael, what about your mom, what about us? I'm sorry Starr, but I have made up my mind. Starr begins to raise her voice. I can't believe this, why didn't you talk to me about this? Michael is now raising his, what for, you were just going to say everything you said just now. So your father is alright with this, Starr shouts. No he's not, for your information, he doesn't want me anywhere near the business, replies Michael. Then why Michael, what is the real reason, asks an upset Starr. Michael sighs, Jason raised me for the first year or so of my life when my mom couldn't. He has always had my back, I owe him this, to find him, to find who shot him and made him disappear. I can't believe this, shouts Starr, we are just starting our lives together. I thought I could never move on after losing Hope and Cole. And you felt the same after losing Abby. But we found our way to each other and now you want to throw it all away. No Michael, I can't stand by you on this decision. Starr turns to walk away. Michael grabs her by the arms, Starr I need you to understand, but with or without you I am going to do this. He is angry and tightening his grip. At that very moment Todd walks up to their door and is about to knock. He was coming to invite Starr to dinner personally. He hears shouting and moves his ear closer to the door. He hears Starr plea, ow, please Michael let go, you're hurting me. That is all Todd needs to hear, he busts in the door with one try. He sees Michael gripping Starr, he pulls him off her and punches him dead in the face. Dad, screams Starr, stop please stop. Todd pulls Michael up and he hits him again. You little son of a bitch, shouts Todd, don't you ever lay a hand on my daughter again. Starr grabs Todds arm as he is about to strike Michael again. Dad, she screams at the top of her lungs. Todd stops and looks at her, she is crying. Please daddy stop. He can't stand to see his Starr cry, he lets go of Michael. Todd is beside himself with anger, Starr get your things, you're coming home with me. No dad, says Starr through her tears. She runs to Michael's side. He is sitting up, blood pouring from his nose and mouth, his eye is swelling. Oh my God Michael, she says, I'm so sorry. Are you kidding, shouts Todd, the guy was hurting you and you're saying sorry? Starr looks up at her father, you just can't come bursting in here and hit people, she says. I can handle things myself, I'm not a baby any more. I don't care how old you are, if someone is hurting you, they are going down and going down hard, shouts Todd. Dad please leave, I will talk to you later, but please go. No, he says, I'm not leaving you here with that, as he points at Michael. Michael wants to get up and take on Todd but the pain is searing. Starr goes to her father, dad go, I will be alright, I promise. Starr is pushing him backward out of the door. Todd points at Michael, you touch her again and next time I won't punch you, I'll kill you. Starr closes the door the best she can being that it is broken after Todd busted through. Todd stands in the hall fuming, he shakes his hand, it is hurting now, thank goodness the stitches have all healed. He shuts his eyes, he doesn't want to leave but decides to do what his daughter asked. He walks away and exclaims, damn I need a fucking drink.

Michael we need to get you to the hospital, says a frantic Starr. No, he says, I am going after your father and he heads for the door. Starr runs ahead of him and tries to block the exit, no please Michael, it's over, let this stop. He was just protecting me. Are you defending him, says Michael. Yes, yes I am, replies Starr, and don't tell me that if you were being hurt that Sonny wouldn't burst in and do the exact same thing. Michael looks at her, I was hurting you? Yes you were and she rubs her arms. I'm sorry Starr, I didn't realize. I would never intentionally do that to you, I'm sorry. I guess you were pretty lost in the moment, says Starr. So what are we going to do, she asks. You still want to help your father? Yes I do, answers Michael. Starr shakes her head, I'm sorry Michael, but I can't stand by and just accept this. I care for you so much and the thought of you being in the middle of all that dangerous mob stuff is just too much for me. C'mon, she says, she takes Michael by the hand, I'm taking you to the hospital and when we're done I'm moving in with my dad and step mom.

Todd calls me and tells me that dinner is off, he will be home shortly. Once home I see that he is upset. What happened, I ask as I follow him into the kitchen. He pulls out ice and wraps it in a dish towel and places it on his right hand. What did you do, I say looking at it. Todd, now what? I hit Michael Corinthos. What? Why? I went by to see Starr to invite them to dinner with us tonight and I heard them arguing. He was hurting her so I busted in and hit him. Oh my God, is Starr alright, what about Michael? Starr made me leave and she was upset. As for Michael, I couldn't give a shit. He goes to pour himself a scotch. Todd you shouldn't drink, not with you taking medication. I don't care, he says, I really need this. I stand by and watch him down several. Okay, I say, then why don't we just go upstairs and turn in early. Todd is still upset but calmer. He nods yes, let's turn in. I slip my arm through his and we go upstairs. I can tell he is groggy from the alcohol and pills. I manage to get him undressed and under the covers, he is really feeling the effects now. As I get up to head to the washroom he grabs my arm, not hard, and pulls me back down. I fall onto his chest. I don't know what I would do without you he says, I love you. I love you too, I respond. He kisses me. I can taste the liquor on his lips, he loosens his hold on me, he has fallen asleep.

Later that night as we lay asleep, I hear knocking at our door. I sit up and glance at Todd. He is sleeping soundly. I throw on my robe and head downstairs. There is no one who can get up to the penthouse without a security code or to be buzzed in by either Todd or myself. I look through the peephole, it is Starr. She is the only one we have given the code to. I open the door. Starr please get in here. I can't find my key and I couldn't remember the code, I didn't mean to wake you, she says. I see that she has been crying, she turns to hug me. I love her as if she were my own. But I had given my own daughter away. It's alright Starr, I say, and I walk her to the couch. Did dad tell you what happened tonight, she asks through sniffles. Yes he did, I say. Are you alright? No, she says, Michael and I broke up and she begins to cry again. I hug her again. Why did you break up, was it because of your father? No, no, says Starr, it was because of Michael, he wants to work for his dad and the mob. I can't take that Dee and I won't stand back and watch him get hurt or worse, so I left. Can I stay here, she asks. Starr you know you don't have to ask, this is your home, for as long as you want or forever. She manages a small smile. Are you hungry, can I get you something to eat? No, says Starr, but thank you. I just want to lie down and try to sleep. I walk with Starr up the stairs and into one of the many huge bedrooms. She has only brought one bag with her. We will send for the rest of her things tomorrow. She changes and slips into bed. Is there anything I can get for you, I ask before exiting. No, she says. I turn to close the door. Dee, she says. Yes, I answer. Thank you, says Starr. Anytime sweetheart. I shut the door and turn, Todd is standing there, he smiles, thank you for taking care of her tonight. I heard the two of you talking and didn't want to interrupt. I'm afraid I would of just upset her more. She needs to rest Todd, you can see her in the morning. Let's go back to bed.


	24. Chapter 24

Sonny arrives at Michael's apartment. He sees the door is broken. His immediate thought is that someone has broken in and could still be there. He reaches under his suit jacket ready to pull his gun. He pushes the door in slowly. Michael, he calls out, he hears a noise and turns pointing his gun. It is Michael, he stops dead in his tracks as he comes face to face with Sonny's gun. Hey dad, whoa, it's me. Sonny exhales and puts his gun back in its holster. He sees Michaels face. His eye is almost swollen shut, he has stitches on his nose and lip. What the hell happened to you, asks Sonny frantically. Nothing dad, I'm alright. Don't tell me nothing because something did that to your face. Or should I say someone. Who was it Michael, tell me what happened? Starr and I had an argument, answers Michael. Sonny looks confused, you're not going to tell me Starr did that to you. Michael looks at his father, what? No, no, it was her dad. He happened to show up and the next thing I know he punched the hell out of me. Sonny is livid, Manning did this? That son of a bitch. How dare he lay a hand on my kid. Dad I'm not a kid anymore, that's just what Mr. Manning kept saying about Starr. I don't care what he said, yells Sonny, no one lays a finger on my children. Sonny is pacing. Where is Starr anyway, did Manning drag her off with him? No dad, says Michael sadly, we broke up last night and she left on her own to stay with her father and step mother. Sonny looks at his son and sits beside him on the couch. I'm sorry to hear that son, but maybe it is for the best. You know I accepted the fact that you and Starr were seeing each other and that you decided to live together, but deep down I wasn't happy about it. I didn't want you mixed up with a Manning. And Mr. Manning didn't want Starr mixed up with a Corinthos, says Michael. Now everyone can be happy, he continues, everyone except me and Starr.

As Todd is sitting at his desk, his door bursts open. He looks up to see Sonny Corinthos. Todds receptionist Linda is right behind Sonny. I'm so sorry Mr. Manning but I tried to stop him. It's okay Linda, says Todd, you may go. Should I get security, she asks. No, that won't be necessary, he says, just close the door behind you. The two men stand facing each other. So let me guess, says Todd, your son went crying to you because big bad Mr. Manning hit him. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right here and now, says Sonny. Todd smiles, really? You would kill me because I hit your son? Well did he tell you that he was hurting my daughter, he grabbed her and left bruises on her arms, did he tell you that? Sonny is silent. That's what I thought, says Todd, he conveniently left that part out. Whatever he did, that does not give you the right to lay a hand on my kid, says Sonny. Then he better never lay a hand on my kid again, Todd shoots back. Look, says Todd, if it will make you feel any better go ahead and punch me, he thrusts his chin at Sonny. Oh wait, hit me here, he says pointing to the scarred side of his face. This has never been my good side. Todd knows how to push people's buttons, he is the master. You smart ass son of a bitch, says Sonny, I should just shoot you. What's the matter Sonny, why don't you want to hit me? Is it because you'll mess up that nice manicure of yours? You know I never understood why men do that. That is totally a chick thing. Todd looks at Sonny, oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you're a chick. Todd lets out a little giggle. Sonny is incensed with anger, he slowly begins to reach into his jacket. Todd is watching his every move. Wait a minute, says Todd, you mean you're actually going to shoot me yourself? I'm truly honored, don't you usually have Jason Morgan do your dirty work? Oh that's right, Todd goes on, Jason is fish food. Sonny pulls his gun, tired of hearing Todd and his smugness. He points it at him. Todd stands stoic and unafraid, go ahead shoot, he says, but before you do, why don't you smile big and flash those dimples for the camera. Todd motions with his head towards the ceiling over the door. Sonny looks up to see a security camera pointed at them recording every action. Sonny turns back to face Todd. I can't deal with you here and now the way I'd like, but if you ever touch Michael again I will kill you, that's a promise. Not if I kill you first, says Todd. Sonny puts his gun away. They stand facing each other again, Sonny turns and walks out. Todd shakes his head and thinks, note to self, buy a new handgun.

I am tossing and turning tonight. My nightmares are all too real. I am dancing, Anthony Zacchara is pulling me into an alley and threatening to kill me and my unborn baby. Johnny is looking for me, calling out to me. I am running through what seems like an endless tunnel. At the end of it I run straight into Todd. His eyes are red and burning right through me. You lied to me, he says over and over. All the voices are surrounding me. Anthony, Johnny, Todd. Disappear or I'll kill you. Where are you? Why did you leave me? You lied to me and above it all, I hear my baby crying. I scream. I sit straight up in bed, barely able to catch my breath. Todd is calling my name. Dee, hey it's alright, calm down, it's okay. I'm here. His arms are around me. I am trembling. I turn to look at Todd and begin to cry. What's wrong he says, ssshhhh it was a bad dream, it's over. I'm here. His arms feel so strong and comforting around me and I melt into them. I finally begin to gain composure. I can't stand it anymore, I have to tell him the truth and tell him now. Todd I say, I have to to tell you something. About the dream, he asks. Yes, I say, please just listen to me. Just then his cell rings. Go ahead, he says to me. The phone continues to ring, Todd reaches for it. I'm sending it to voice mail. He looks at it, it's The Sun, he says, it's 3:30 in the morning, something must be wrong. I'm sorry Dee but I have to take this. But, but... my window of opportunity is closing and so is my nerve, my head is pounding. What, I hear Todd exclaim. He jumps out of bed, reaching into the closet and pulling on some jeans and a T-shirt. I'll be right down, he yells into the phone. As he is pulling on his sneakers, he speaks. I'm so sorry Dee, but there is a problem with the digital press and it's serious. This will affect several editions of The Sun. I have to go. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can and we can talk then. He kisses me quickly and before I know it he is gone.

I stay there sitting in the bed with my mouth open. The words were there ready to spill. I plop backwards onto the pillows. I can't do this, I'm afraid. Am I afraid because of what Todd will think or am I more afraid of what he will do? I fear the latter. Hours pass, Todd has yet to return. The sun is rising. It's no use, I cannot sleep and I don't think I will until this is all said and done. I go downstairs, the coffee had started brewing at 6:00 A.M. I seriously need a cup. Just then I hear Starr. Good Morning, she says. I try to put on my every thing is just peachy face. Good Morning to you Starr, I say. Would you like some coffee? Sure, she says, I need the caffeine to give me some nerve this morning. Nerve, I ask, for what? I have something I need to tell dad and I don't think he will be too happy. Oh no, I think to myself, both Starr and I are going to upset Todd Manning this morning? C'mon Starr let's make a run for it, I want to yell. As I am about to ask Starr about it, the door opens and in walks Todd. He looks exhausted, his hair is a mess and his beard is growing in quickly. He sees us sitting at the dining table and he slumps into one of the chairs. He manages a smile, hey wife, hey Shorty. Hey yourself messy Marvin, exclaims Starr. What the heck happened to you, she asks. Todd rubs his face and eyes, the press was down, but we finally got it back online and averted a big disaster. I'm so glad, I say, do you want some coffee Todd? Ugh no, he replies, I had about a thousand cups already. You know I really have to send Jacob to coffee making 101, he makes the worst coffee, it tastes like he stirred it with a number two pencil. Starr and I manage a little laugh. How about some breakfast then, I ask. No thanks, I'm really not hungry, I just want to go shower and shave, I feel totally grungy. Starr and I look at each other in amazement. Todd Manning isn't hungry? He is actually turning down food? Todd notices our surprise, what, he says. Oh nothing, I say, but you not being hungry is going to probably set the earth's rotation off kilter. He smiles and gets up and starts for the stairs. After my shower I'm sure my appetite will have made a ravenous return, he says. Uh dad, when you come back down I need to talk to you, says Starr. Todd stops and turns, what is it? Go freshen up first and then we can talk. Todds expression is concerned, I don't think I'm going to like this, he says. Todd showers, shaves, changes and is back downstairs in less than fifteen minutes. Okay Shorty what is it? What do you want to talk to me about? Maybe I should leave you two alone, I say. No, says Starr, please stay, what I have to say concerns the both of you. Todd and I look at each other. Before Starr can continue, Todd blurts out, oh no, you're going back to that Corinthos creep aren't you? Todd, I say hitting his arm, let Starr talk. No dad, that's not it. Todd let's out a loud sigh of relief, good because I was already set to go and give him another beat down. Todd, I say, again hitting his arm even harder, be quiet. Todd grabs his arm, okay okay. I'm sorry Shorty, please continue. Starr takes a deep breath, I'm going back to Llanview. What, says Todd. I'm going back to Llanview, she says again. Why, asks Todd with disappointment in his voice. I need to get out of Port Charles for a while. The break up with Michael has been hard, all I do is think of him, I think about him getting hurt or even killed looking for Jason. I lost Hope and Cole before my eyes and I can't bare to possibly go through that again with Michael. I know dad, that you could care less what happens to him, but I do care, more than anyone knows. All of this is affecting me singing at The Haunted Star, I can't concentrate and my performances are suffering. My heart just isn't in it without Michael there cheering me on. But Dee and I are there cheering you on too, says Todd. Starr smiles, I know and I thank you both so much for supporting me, but I really need this break. Besides, I really miss mom, grandma, Sam, Dani and yes, even Jack. Starr approaches her father, dad please understand, it's not permanent, it's just a visit. How long is this visit going to be, asks Todd. A month or two maybe, I will be back. Todd reaches out and pulls Starr into his arms, he always rests his chin on top of her head. He closes his eyes, I miss you already. I know, says Starr, I already miss you too. She looks at me, the both of you and she reaches for my hand. I don't want her to go and I know Todds heart is breaking. But it is just for a visit, his Shorty will return.


	25. Chapter 25

A few days have passed since Starr left for Llanview. Todd and I drove her to the airport, she left her car parked at Manning Enterprises. She had refused the use of her father's jet. Todd was quiet on the drive back and he did not say much the rest of that day. I thought he had forgotten about my nightmare and I didn't want to bring it up. Starr's departure had distracted him, but tonight he remembered. Dee, the other night when you had that bad dream, I just took off on you. You said you wanted to tell me something, what was it? Oh it's alright Todd, I say, it's been a few days and I really don't remember much about it anymore. I'm lying. I'm really sorry, he says, you always stop and listen to me and when you need me, I bolt. Todd you were needed at The Sun, you're the boss. That's right I am and I could have gotten someone else to handle it, Jacob was there, except for his lack of coffee making skills, he is a genius. It won't happen again, he says, next time you want to talk, I'll listen, I promise.

Now two weeks have passed since Starr left. Todd is working at his desk when his phone rings. It is Starr. Todd smiles bright at the sound of her voice. They talk for a while. Todd asks for everyone, Sam, Dani, Jack, his sister Viki and even Blair. He wishes desperately that he could talk to each of them. But they still will not give him the time of day for what he has done to his brother Victor Jr. Starr says to Todd, I have a surprise for you. Really, what, says Todd. It's not a what, but a who, says Starr. Hold on, she says. Todd's mind is racing, who? Then he hears the little voice. Hello, Uncle Todd. Todd can't believe his ears, it is his little nephew Sam. Todd shuts his eyes and wants to cry. Hey Sam, how are you little buddy? I'm fine, says Sam, I really miss you. I miss you too, says Todd. When are you coming back, asks Sam. Oh well I don't think I can come back for a while, but maybe someday. Can I go visit you, asks the little boy. I can go back with Starr. I would love that buddy, says Todd, but I don't think your mommy would let you, you have school and all. Maybe in the summer, says Sam. Maybe, says Todd, I would really like that. Well I have to go now, I hear mommy calling me. Bye Uncle Todd. Hey, says Todd, be good and listen to your mommy and …..I love you. I love you too, bye. Todd is happy yet sad. Sam should have been my son he thinks, no, he is my son. Starr gets back on the line, dad are you there? Yeah I'm still here. She can hear his voice breaking. Thank you so much Starr, I really needed that, you don't know how much it meant to hear his voice. He came in while I was talking to you and he knew it was you before I could say anything, says Starr. He really wanted to talk to you. Despite everything, Starr says, he says you are his hero. That was it, Todd's eyes are tearing, poor kid, he doesn't know the monster that his uncle Todd really is, he says. Dad please don't say that. Everything that has happened has had a cause, you were ill, you still are but getting better. Maybe I shouldn't have let him on the phone, I can hear you're upset. No Starr, just the opposite, hearing his voice made me happy, thank you again. They say their goodbyes. Todd opens a desk drawer and pulls out a photo of his last Christmas in Llanview. There they are, all smiling, the family he fought so hard to get back to, the family he almost got back and the family he lost. He then glances at the photo on his desk. One of he and I smiling happily. He traces my face with his finger, I love you Dee and you and I will start a family of our very own.

Later that afternoon Starr calls her father back. Hey again Shorty, two calls in one day, what have I done to deserve this? Oh dad I forgot something earlier. What, asks her father. I was wondering if Dee could go to The Haunted Star and to my dressing room. I left some clothes and some very important papers there. I would like her to send them to me, do you think she would mind? I tried to call her but I get her voice mail. Well I know she wouldn't mind but the problem is that she is in New York attending a conference for the magazine, answers Todd. Oh, says Starr. Well I will be more than happy to go down and get the stuff for you, says Todd. But dad I know you don't want to run into Johnny, replies Starr. Do you think Johnny is going to keep me from helping my daughter? C'mom Starr. Well Okay, but no trouble alright dad? Scouts honor, says Todd. You were never in the boy scouts, laughs Starr. I was for about a minute, says Todd, but when I heard you had to do good deeds for badges, I dropped out fast. I didn't need no stinkin' badges. Starr is laughing. Seriously dad, behave. I will Shorty. The call ends. Todd holds up his crossed fingers, sorry Starr, but I can't promise anything where Johnny Zacchara is concerned.

Todd arrives at The Haunted Star. He walks in. There is someone sweeping up and wiping down tables. He heads to Starrs dressing room. Once inside he finds her outfits worn for the shows, He puts them in the suitcase. He collects the papers and music she asked for and packs them as well. He looks around, I think I got everything. As he is walking out, there he is, Johnny Zacchara. Manning what the hell are you doing here? Picking up a few things that Starr left behind, Todd answers as he pushes past him heading for the exit. By the way, how's married life treating you, asks Johnny. Todd stops and turns to face him. Todd smiles, married life is fantastic, you should try it sometime, maybe with Carly. God knows you two deserve each other. Johnny smiles, yeah maybe, seeing as how you tried to break us up and it didn't work. Todd just stares at Johnny. Yes Manning, I know what you did. Of course you do, I'm sure Carly told you everything, so there, case closed, says Todd and he turns to walk out again. Yeah Carly told me everything, but has your pretty little wife told you everything? Todd shuts his eyes and turns back to face this punk. What did you just say? Johnny smiles and turns his back to Todd and heads to the bar. He walks behind it and proceeds to pour himself a whiskey. He has just baited Todd and he is biting. What the hell did you say God dammit, Todd's voice raising. I'll bet you two have your share of secrets don't you, secrets that you are keeping from each other, smiles Johnny. What the hell would you know about anything between us, shouts Todd. Nothing, says Johnny shaking his head. He takes a drink. Todd is breathing hard now, you better tell me what you're talking about or so help me... What Manning, you're going to kill me, asks Johnny sarcastically. Okay, says Johnny, let's just say that I know your secret, you know my secret, but do you know your wife's secret? Todd has had enough, he lunges over the bar, knocking Johnny's drink out of his hand and grabs him around the neck. He is squeezing, Johnny is gasping for air. You mother fucker, growls Todd, I should of killed you the first time. Johnny's eyes widen with his statement. Was it Todd who tried to kill me back at GH? Johnny somehow finds strength and breaks Todd's grasp on his neck. He hits Todd across the face with his fist. Todd is knocked off balance for a moment. Your wife Dee, she has a secret, shouts Johnny. Don't you even say her name, yells Todd. Why not, I use to say it all the time, Johnny yells back. What the fuck you bastard, shut the hell up, Todd shouts. What, teases Johnny with a grin, you don't want to hear that your wife is keeping something from you? A big secret? Well guess what Manning, I am your wife's secret. Todd starts for Johnny again. Johnny breaks a liquor bottle and waves off Todd with it. Keep back you son of a bitch or I'll give you a matching scar on the other side of that mug of yours. You tell me what the hell you're talking about, yells Todd. Oh now you want to know, says Johnny, well let's see, where to start. Do you want to know everything? You can start any time with your lies, says Todd. Lies huh, smirks Johnny, okay then how is this for a lie? Your precious Dee was a dancer. Back when she was barely legal. She danced at my father's club in New York. Men threw money at her. She went by the name of Dee Dee then. You're lying you fucking son of a bitch, shouts Todd. Oh yeah, well it gets better Todd, she and I were together, I know your wife intimately, I know every inch of her, says Johnny smugly. Todd shuts his eyes, he feels heat rising from his collar, he feels the fury. He hadn't felt this way since the supposed night he killed Victor Jr. He doesn't care anymore if Johnny cuts him, he is going to kill him if it's the last thing he does. Johnny is backing up as Todd moves slowly towards him. Can't stand it huh Manning? Well get ready cuz there's more. I got Dee pregnant. Todd stops dead in his tracks. Johnny continues, but she took off and gave our baby away. Dee and I have a daughter almost about Starr's age. Only I don't know where she is because that bitch of a wife of yours gave her away like she was nothing. Todd shuts his eyes again, balling his fists, he moves in on Johnny. Johnny swings the broken bottle cutting Todd deep across his left upper torso. Todd feels no pain and manages to grab Johnny. Johnny drops the glass, Todd begins beating him across the face, never saying a word, just beating. One of the employees that had been cleaning up rushes in, he tries to pull Todd off of Johnny but Todd has the strength of five bulls and he throws him onto the floor knocking him out cold. Finally, when Todd sees that Johnny is almost unconscious, something makes him let go. He gets up and sees his reflection in the mirror over the bar, he sees the blood oozing from his chest, no reaction. He looks down at Johnny who is still trying to get up. Todd turns, he steps over the knocked out employee and heads for the exit. Johnny finally manages to pull himself up a little to a sitting position. As he watches Todd walk out, he shouts as loud as the pain will let him, go home, go home and ask Mrs. Manning if this is a lie. Todd is gone. Johnny laughs and at the same time grimaces with the pain.


	26. Chapter 26

The night has fallen. I finally arrive home. I am exhausted and can't wait to shower and lay down with my husband and just sleep. The penthouse is dark, Todd must still be at The Sun. I had tried to call him but I got his voice mail. He must be very busy. I reach to turn on the lights and as I turn I am startled. Todd is sitting in the dark facing the front door and facing me. My eyes immediately focus on the blood on his shirt. Oh my God, I run to him. Todd what happened? I am kneeling in front of him. I begin to open his shirt and I see the deep gash across his upper chest. It is awful. Todd who did this? Jesus, I'm calling 911. Todd sits silent. I figure he may be in shock. I touch his chest softly. Is that how you touched him, Todd finally speaks. What, I ask, as I am totally thrown for a loop. Is that how you touched him, he asks again. Touched who? What are talking about Todd? You know who, he says, Johnny Zacchara. My heart drops and my mouth goes dry. His voice is chillingly calm. Johnny Zacchara, I don't know what you're talking about, I say as I begin to tremble. Sure you do, he says. No I don't, I say, Todd you have to get to the hospital, you're bleeding and... Fuck the blood, says Todd, tell me about Johnny Zacchara, oh wait let me re phrase that. Tell me about you and Johnny Zacchara. It's over. My head is spinning, he knows, and Johnny is the only one who could have told him. I stand. Todd is gazing at me with anger. He stands as well as I take a step back. C'mon Dee, tell me about you and Johnny and don't leave anything out. Alright I say, I knew Johnny. Tell me how you met, asks Todd. I ran way from my last foster home and hitch hiked to New York. I had no money. I ended up working at a club. It was Johnny's dad Anthony Zaccharas club. What did you do there, asks Todd, still with the calmness. I...I danced, I answer. Todd smiles eerily, for money? Yes, I answer. Tell me more, he says. Todd it's apparent that you already know it all. Johnny told you didn't he? It doesn't matter what Johnny told me, he says, I want to hear it from you. I close my eyes, I danced for money, but I never took my clothes off. But you took them off for Johnny, says Todd. I give Todd a disgusted look. It's true isn't it, smirks Todd. That's it, I think, why hold back any longer. Yes Todd I did, I took my clothes off for Johnny. We were in love and I wanted to leave that horrible life, but Johnny wouldn't leave his dear old dad Anthony. His father threatened to kill me if I didn't leave his precious Johnny. I was ready to go before I found out I was pregnant. I am angry and beginning to cry. I could say that I am angry at Johnny for telling Todd, but I am angry at myself for not telling him the truth ages ago. I ran away, I had my baby. I went back to school and got into college and changed my whole life. I became a therapist. What did you do with the baby, asks Todd. Did he not hear anything after I said I was pregnant? The thought of my baby breaks me. I cry uncontrollably. Todd doesn't care about the tears, what did you do with the baby, he asks again. No words are coming. I'll tell you, he says, you gave birth and you gave it away like a piece of nothing. You just gave it away, the tone in his voice is one of disgust. Now anger is welling inside of me. You were a dancer, whoring for money and got knocked up and you gave your baby away. I turn to face Todd and I slap him with all my mite. How dare you, you fucking hypocrite. You're one to talk about giving babies away. The look on Todds face changes, his eyes widen, be careful don't you even go there, he says in that low frightening tone. Too late Todd, I'm already there. You want to talk about giving babies away? I gave mine up for adoption to give her a better life. But what did you do, I shout. Don't do it Dee, he warns. You were so jealous of Blair and thought she was having another man's baby. You were too blind to know that it was really yours. You helped Blair give birth and then you told her that her baby died because you couldn't bare to raise another man's child. You gave the baby away, you gave your own son Jack away and let Blair mourn. What kind of a monster does that? Todd Manning that's who, I scream. Todd grabs me, his eyes, they are doing it again. Changing from hazel to blackness. I warned you, he says. What are you going to do Todd, what, what? He spins me around and lets go of me and I land on the couch. He is coming towards me, his fists are closed. I'm furious yet frightened, but I will never admit it to him. I get up and run up the stairs, why didn't I run for the door? He was blocking my path. I run into our bedroom. What am I going to do? Todd walks in and shuts the door behind him. He is walking slowly towards me. I am breathing hard but I am going to stand up to him even though I am fighting a battle that I know I am going to lose. He is finally standing in front of me, I face him and I look him straight in his cold eyes. I'm not scared of you Todd, I say. I am lying through my teeth. Well maybe you should be, he says in a low menacing voice. He grabs me hard and drags me to the bed, he throws me back. He climbs over me and rips open my blouse. I try to get up. He grabs me by my wrists and pins me down with my arms over my head. He starts biting at me, my neck, my breasts, all the time I am kicking and turning my face from him. Tell me, he says, is this how Johnny did it? His voice low. Well, I am going to show you how much better it is with a real man. You're not a man, you're a monster, I yell. He tightens his grip on my wrists, I cry out in pain. Then with one hand he takes hold of both my wrists, I feel his weight on me. I feel him pushing my skirt up. He begins undoing his belt, he is prying my legs apart with his. I feel him tugging at my underwear, I hear a rip, he has torn them a away. Don't Todd, please don't do this to me, I cry, please no. I have lost all my strength and fight. I go limp under him. I look him in the eyes, just do it then Todd, just get it over with. The tears are streaming down the sides of my face. Todd's mind goes back in time. Flashing before him, he sees Marty Saybrooke's terrified face as he is poised above her and about to change both their lives forever, Blair's look of horror as he has her pinned down, arms over her head, just as he has me now. All this he sees in me right beneath him, terror, horror, yet with sadness and giving up the fight. All of a sudden he lets go of me. He backs off, he stands at looks down at me with sorrow. Too little, too late. He doesn't say a word, he rushes out. This was not his PTSD driving him this time, it was pure anger and jealousy. I hear the the front door slam. I turn on my side and pull my skirt back down. I don't know where my underwear is. After a few minutes I find myself laying in a fetal position. The truth is out, but I fear the nightmare is just beginning.

I finally manage to get up off the bed. I make my way to the bathroom. I turn on the light and I see myself in the mirror. The image before me is frightening. My hair is a tangled mess. My make-up is running from my tears. My blouse is open, the buttons gone after Todd ripped it. My skirt is twisted and my underwear torn off and laying on the bedroom floor somewhere. I notice blood on my ripped blouse and on my skin. Todd's blood. I know he must of definitely fought with Johnny and Johnny cut him. I begin to undress and that's when I see them. He had bitten me, on my neck, on my chest. The marks are horrible. Dark bruises are already forming on my arms and wrists. And the inside of my thighs where he pried them with his knees bare even worse. I feel sick. I steady myself. I want to shower but I want to get out of here. What if he comes back? I run to the closet and grab a bag throwing clothes in. I pull on some jeans, a sweatshirt, my boots. I go back into the bathroom and tie my hair up in a ponytail. I scrub my face clean, no traces of any make-up. I pick up my bag and the clothes I have discarded. I run down the stairs and into the kitchen to get a garbage bag. I stuff those horrible clothes into them. I run out. Hurry up dammit, I say as the elevator takes its sweet time arriving. Finally! I have to get out before he comes back. I'm frantic. No sign of Todd. I make it to my car and lock the doors. I drive away. But where am I going?

Todd had run, literally. He has made his way onto the docks. He stops as he reaches the end of the pier. He drops to his knees. He can barely see his reflection in the dark water. What have I done, he cries, what have I done? He hangs his head. My God, I hurt her, he cries. Then he hears her. She deserved it. Todd opens his eyes and sees Irene's reflection in the water. He turns and she stands before him. No, he cries desperately. Oh yes, she says. She shakes her head at him, tisk tisk son, it seems that you did something bad. Go away, Todd shouts. I'm not leaving you, says Irene. You finally opened your eyes, she says, I told you she had a secret. Todd shuts his eyes tightly, hoping she will disappear, stop please. Irene continues. Now look what she has made you do. And you thought that you had conquered that demon, that you had that monster under control. She kneels down next to him at ear level. Well son, unfortunately, once a rapist, always a rapist. Todd opens his eyes in horror at what he has just heard. Irene doesn't stop. Remember how you felt when you did it to Marty? You were angry at her. You blamed her for your flunking in college and getting kicked off the football team. Everyone was calling you a loser. Remember son? All the rage? And then how about Blair? You accused her of sleeping with Cord Roberts and that the baby she had lost was his. You went up those stairs slowly and kicked in that door. You had her there son, pinned down and ready to do to her what you did to Marty. Jealousy and rage, my my. And now Dee. You found out about her past, a past she kept from you after you had already revealed your whole life to her. She was a little slut, dancing for money, sleeping with the enemy, Johnny Zacchara. Having his baby and giving it away. Betrayal, jealousy and rage. You had her there, under you, you were ready. Tell me son, did you want to? Todd's memory goes back to the alley behind Rodi's bar. The alley where he tried to Rape Marty again. But this time he was there after attacking Blair. He remembers his words. He hears them echoing in his head. "What is the worst thing I could have done to her?" "No, I didn't, but I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I guess wanting to is just as bad as actually doing it." You wanted to say something son, asks Irene. Todd repeats the same words he spoke that night in the alley, I wanted to, I really wanted to. He cannot believe he is hearing himself say those words again. Irene smiles, that's what I thought. So what are you going to do about it son? Todd looks into the water, his thoughts are racing, he could end it all and everyone would be better off without him. What made me think I could come back and have my life the way it was? That I could be a better person. I can't take it anymore, he cries, he suddenly feels for the first time the pain from the gash across his chest. It is bleeding more now. He is about to let himself drop into the water when there are footsteps. Irene turns, do it son, she urges, set yourself free.

The footsteps are getting closer, there are voices. A man and a woman talking and laughing. Irene vanishes. Oh my goodness, exclaims the woman. Damien Spinelli and his girlfriend Ellie are out on a stroll when they happen across Todd, talking to no one, bleeding and about to jump into the harbor. Damien do something, says Ellie. Spinelli runs toward him and grabs him, stop, don't jump. He gets a good look at his face. He recognizes him, it is Todd Manning. Spinelli notices he is bleeding, Mr. Manning, I fear you are terribly injured and bleeding profusely. Leave me alone, says Todd. I'm sorry sir, replies Spinelli, but I can not in all good conscience do that. Ellie call 911. Ellie is now at Spinellis side and dialing. Todd grabs the phone from her hands and tosses it into the water. I said leave me alone, this time his voice is weaker. He is losing too much blood, says Ellie, quick Damien give me something to apply pressure with. Spinelli looks around, not finding anything he removes his shirt and gives it to Ellie. Todd is down. She begins to press down on his wound, Todd cries out. Spinelli pulls out his own cell and calls 911. The ambulance is on the way, he says. Todd can barely speak, go away, just let me die, let me die please. He closes his eyes. No, no Mr. Manning, don't close your eyes, stay with me, says Ellie. Spinelli kneels on the other side of Todd and taps his face a few times. Todd opens his eyes, why are you hitting me? I'm sorry sir, but you mustn't close your eyes, you must remain conscious. I'm already cut, says Todd, don't hit me. Why don't you two love birds just go? I told you that I want to die, I deserve to die. Please, plea...se... His voice trails off. Todd loses consciousness.


	27. Chapter 27

I could stay in a nice hotel, but certainly not The Metro Court. Instead I check into a little motel. I throw the trash bag with my torn clothing in the dumpster outside. Once inside I make a beeline to the shower. The water is washing over me, cleansing me of all the filth I feel on me. I have to scrub to get Todd's dried blood off of my skin. I wish I could wash away all the marks he has left on me as well. Once done, I crawl under the covers. Every now and then I hear footsteps as people walk by. Every time I hear some I think it is Todd, he has found me and is here to finish what he started. I begin to tremble with fear and shock as my mind keeps replaying the night's events. The frightening look in his eyes, the things he said to me, and worse yet what he was going to do. I begin to cry. I cry until my head is pounding. My body hurts from the physical strength he forced on me. Finally, I don't know how, I manage to fall asleep.

The next morning I get dressed. I have made a decision. I make two phone calls, first to my assistant Maxie Jones. I tell her I will be out of the office for an indefinite amount of time. I know she can run things for me, she is good at her job. The next call is to my friend Alexis Davis. I agree to meet with her at her home, Molly is in school and she is alone working from home today. Alexis opens her door, come in, she says. She looks at me, totally dressed down, no make-up and my hair in a ponytail. What's going on, she asks. This is not your usual look even on a casual day. I look at her and she can see by my face that I am truly stressed. Hey, she says, what is it? Are you alright? Come sit down. Do you want something to drink? No I say, thank you. Okay, then talk to me, she says. Alexis I want to divorce Todd, will you represent me? Alexis looks at me. Why? What happened? I nod my head nothing, it's just that things are not working out. Alexis eyes me with a questioning look. Not working out huh, she reads me, my face, my body language. What exactly do mean by not working out, she asks. I find it difficult to answer and before I can, Alexis speaks. She takes my hand, Dee did he hurt you? No, no why would you ask me that? Alexis sighs, well for one thing it's ninety something degrees out and you're wearing a turtleneck and long sleeves. Please Dee, if I'm going to represent you I have to know everything. Don't worry, you know everything you say to me is confidential. She asks again, did Todd hurt you? I bury my face in my hands, the tears are starting. He..he tried to rape me. When the words spilled from my lips it sounded as if someone else was speaking them. Oh my God, exclaims Alexis, did you call the police? No, no I don't want the police involved. But honey you have to, says Alexis. She continues, just because you are his wife does not give him the right to force himself on you. I know all that, I say. What else Dee, I have to know, did he hit you? No but... But what, says Alexis, what are you hiding under that shirt? I roll up my sleeves, the bruises are even worse now. I pull down the top of my turtleneck to reveal my neck. The small bite marks are purplish now. Alexis gasps. There are more, I say and I point to my chest and my thighs, but not revealing them. We need to call the police and get you to a doctor, says Alexis. She is already picking up her cell, no please Alexis, just draw up the papers and put down irreconcilable differences. But Dee, you can sue him for divorce based on physical and sexual abuse. No I shout. Alexis is losing her patience with me. What the hell started all this, she says, why did he attack you? We had an argument, about me, about my past. I tell Alexis the whole story. She cannot believe it. So you see Alexis, I should have told Todd the truth a long time ago, but I kept it from him. He found out from Johnny and he was angry with me. So please don't tell me you are taking the blame for what he did to you, says a frustrated Alexis. No matter what, no one deserves to be raped, she shouts. He didn't rape me, I say. But he was going to and that is just as bad, my God I can't believe you are defending him, Alexis continues to shout. I'm not I shout back, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just want this over with, no police, no nothing. Alexis takes a deep breath, well thank goodness he at least didn't have you sign a pre nuptial agreement. I don't want any of his money I say. You could become a very wealthy woman, says Alexis. No money, I say again. Well what about Crimson Magazine, she asks. That is mine free and clear, I say, he signed the rights over to me completely. But it is still registered under Manning Enterprises isn't it, asks Alexis. Yes, but I am Mrs. Todd Manning so I am part of the enterprise. I'll need to see the contracts to make sure he hasn't set any stipulations, continues Alexis. Fine I say, I will get those for you. Alexis comes to me and hugs me, I will represent you Dee. Now my friend, please take care of yourself. Do you want to stay here with me and Molly, we have plenty of room. Thank you so much Alexis but I have a place to stay. Besides if Todd were to find me I don't want to put you or Molly in any danger. I'll be fine. Well please try not to have any contact with him, says Alexis. I won't I, say, besides I don't even know where he is.

Todd opens his eyes slowly. He is trying to focus. He feels as if he has been hit by a bus. He tries to move when pain grips him. He shuts his eyes tightly trying to bare it. He lies still opening his eyes again. He looks to one side. He sees a window, only the strange thing is there are no curtains or blinds. Instead there is a metal grate covering it. He is confused, he looks around. The room he is in is plain, nothing on the walls, everything is white, there is no color anywhere. The door is heavy looking with a small window that has the same metal grate on it. He feels a sense of panic coming over him. He begins to yell as loud as the pain will let him. He hears the door, from the sound, he realizes he is locked in. What the hell is going on he thinks. A nurse walks in and approaches him. Calm down Mr. Manning. Todd tries to sit up when another realization hits him. His arms are strapped and restrained. He pulls at them. Please Mr. Manning, calm down, you will hurt yourself. Your wound will rupture and begin to bleed again. Todd lies back against the pillow hard, his breathing is fast and he is filled with panic. He can't even speak. The nurse walks to the door and pokes her head out telling someone, get Dr. Campbell here now. Todd lays there trying to catch his breath. Suddenly scenes begin to flash in his head. He is fighting with Johnny, he is angry. Angry with him, but he is especially angry with me. He sees himself on top of me, he sees my terrified face. Oh my God, says Todd aloud, oh my God. No, no, he yells. Dee where are you, I didn't mean it, I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He continues to call out to me when Dr. Campbell rushes in. Todd sees the doctor, help me, he pleads, I have to get out of here, I have to find Dee, please. I'm sorry Todd but I'm afraid I can't do that, replies the doctor. Todd wants to grab him but the restraints are tight. You have to calm down. Todd is fighting the best he can and all the time feeling the searing pain in his chest. When Dr. Campbell realizes that Todd is hysterical he pulls out a syringe. Todd sees this and has another flashback, only this one goes back even further. He is in a white room just like the one he is in now, he is restrained in an electrically charged chair and Baker is coming at him with a syringe. No, he yells, he braces himself ready to feel the needle be stuck in his neck, but instead feels the prick in his arm. Todd begins to feel the effect immediately. He feels as if he is falling, then there is an overwhelming calm. He is still now, just staring straight ahead. Dr. Campbell is able to check Todd's wound. There is some blood on the bandages. He calls for Dr. Steven Webber. Dr. Webber arrives and tends to him. As that is being taken care of, Dr. Campbell steps out and dials his phone. It is going to voice mail, he has already left several messages, he leaves yet another. He hangs up and exclaims, dammit Dee, why won't you pick up, where are you?

My cell has been buzzing all morning. I don't want to look at it. I know Todd is trying to reach me. I am sitting crossed legged on the motel bed watching the phone light up. I can't take it anymore. I grab it. It is Jacob Turner, Todd's right hand man at The Sun. I decide to answer. Hello! Hello Mrs. Manning this is Jacob Turner, uh is everything alright? Mr. Manning did not show up this morning and we cannot seem to make contact with him. Security went to your penthouse but there is no answer. My thoughts are racing, Jacob, actually I am not at home and I'm sure Mr. Manning is fine. Don't worry, I know The Sun is in good hands, so please take over for him as you usually do when he is out. But... is all I hear Jacob say and I hang up. Usually I would be wondering where he is but the thought has not even crossed my mind. I decide to look at who has sent the messages and delete any from Todd. I scan through, they are all from Dr. Campbell. Before I know it I am listening. Hello Dee, this is Eric Campbell, it is very urgent you come to General Hospital. Todd was brought in and he is in a very bad way, please call me. I listen to the rest, they are all the same. I get up and begin to pace. What to do? Then I grab my bag and find myself in my car and headed to General Hospital.

I have arrived. I head up to the tenth floor. The psychiatric ward here at the hospital. I ask for Dr. Campbell at the desk. He arrives. Dee he says, I have been trying to reach you since last night. I'm sorry, I say, I was indisposed and could not answer my phone. So where is he? Dr. Campbell looks at me confused at the lack of concern I am displaying. Dee is everything alright with you, did something happen between you and Todd? Obviously Todd has not told him anything I think to myself. No, nothing, I say. Dr. Campbell is a fellow therapist and I know all too well that he knows I am lying. Are you going to tell me where Todd is and what happened to him or am I going to have to ask someone else, I ask impatiently. The doctor is still looking at me funny. Follow me, he says. As we walk, he tells me. Todd was found on the docks last night. He was having a complete breakdown and about to jump into the harbor. Two passers by happened upon him and stopped him. They discovered that he had been cut very badly, they took care of him till help arrived. They saved his life. Do you know how he got that cut, he asks me. Johnny Zacchara I want to yell, but I don't. No I don't, I answer, is it serious? Very, replies Dr. Campbell. We have him here on suicide watch. I had to sedate him earlier after he became hysterical. He keeps saying he is sorry and that he didn't mean it over and over. He is calling out for you. And then he starts saying he wants to die. We reach Todd's room, the doctor unlocks it, he walks in. I stand just outside, apprehensive. Dr. Campbell turns and looks at me. Dee it's alright, he is asleep and he is restrained. I walk in slowly. I take a deep breath and walk towards him. Dr. Campbell turns to leave, I'll give you some time. No, I say quickly, don't go, stay here please. Alright, he says and he stands away by the door. I look down upon Todd's face. He is sleeping peacefully. He looks so innocent. I see that his arms are at his side and strapped down. I don't say anything, I just watch him. He begins to stir, I step back. All the while Dr. Campbell is observing my odd behavior. Todd begins to mumble, I catch my name, the word sorry, and the word die. He turns his head towards me and opens his eyes. He opens them wider when he sees me. My heart is beating fast. Dee he says, you're here, you came. I see desperation in his eyes, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I love you. Please believe me, he pleads. I want to cry and I back away further. No don't do that, he says, he sees that I am frightened. He drops his head back on to his pillow, Oh my God, you're afraid of me, oh my God. He is becoming hysterical again. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Todd continues. I can't take anymore and I run out. I can hear him from the hallway, Dee don't leave, don't leave me. The door to his room closes. I have to sit and try to calm down. After a few minutes the door opens and Dr. Campbell emerges. There is quiet. The doctor comes and sits next to me. I had to give him something to calm down again, his wound will never heal if he keeps trying to move. I know something happened between the two of you last night. Dee did he hurt you? Yes I answer, but that is all I will say to you doctor. Alright then, says the doctor, I need to tell you that as soon as Dr. Webber thinks his wound is healed enough, I want to move Todd to Shady Brook. But I will need your permission and signature. I know before when I suggested this you didn't want to and you do know that I can appeal to the court and commit him myself. No you don't have to do that, I say, I'll sign.


	28. Chapter 28

The day came. As far as the deep wound on Todd's chest was concerned, he could be moved. Todd had remained somewhat combative with the doctors and nurses. Although I have told Alexis that I would not see Todd, I visited him regularly, but always made sure he was asleep when I went in, with Dr. Campbell in the room. The commitment papers were put before me. I knew them all too well. I remember having family members sign these exact same documents when I was practicing. I never thought I would someday be signing them to have my own husband sent to Shady Brook. I had gone to The Sun and let everyone know that Todd was ill and that he would be out indefinitely. I did not give them specifics on his illness. I did go back to work at Crimson. Everyone knew that something was not right, but I kept up appearances as best I could. I moved back into the penthouse, but I am sleeping in one of the other bedrooms. I have Todd's cell phone and Starr has been trying to reach him. Every time she calls me I make an excuse as to why her father can't talk. Finally I decide that I have to let her know. I call her and tell her that her father had a breakdown and that he is in Shady Brook. She is so upset and with me also for not letting her know sooner. She is coming back to Port Charles.

One day in my office at Crimson, I get a delivery by courier. It is from Alexis. I know what this is. I tell my receptionist that I don't want to be disturbed. I open the envelope. There they are, the divorce papers. I look them over. Everything is in order and all I have to do is sign. I pick up a pen. I sit there frozen, I feel such a sadness. I had wanted Todd from day one. What I did as his doctor was wrong, but he confessed that he knew all along. I loved him and he loved me. He took care of me, we married, we were happy, weren't we? Todd could be so loving and generous to a fault, but when he was angry it was truly frightening. His PTSD combined with his temper would scare anyone away. But not me, that is not until that horrible night. Secrets, too many of them and I still don't know all of his. I think about his face, how beautiful he looks when he smiles, his weird sense of humor, his strong arms around me, his magnificent body. I shut my eyes, no don't, don't think about that. I look down at the papers again. I shake my head, I can't do it, not yet.

Starr is arriving in the morning. But before then, I am going to see Todd. Dr. Campbell tells me he has been calmer. Dee he keeps asking for you. I know you don't want to tell me what happened that night, but I know that Todd hurt you. Yes, I say, but I think Todd should be the one to say it. He keeps saying he is sorry and whatever he did, I feel he means it, says the doctor. Would you like me to go in with you, he asks? No, not this time, I answer. Very well, if you need me, I'll be right outside, he says. I brace myself and take a deep breath. I expect Todd to get angry with me for putting him here, to lash out for everything. I push the door open and walk in. Todd is sitting reading the latest edition of The Sun. He looks up. His expression is a happy one. He smiles at me. I manage a faint one in return. Hello Todd, I say. You came, he says. Yes, I have visited you before but you were always sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you. He didn't know that I had actually planned it that way, I was still too afraid to face him when he was awake, until now. I walk to his bedside. How are you feeling, I ask. He takes a deep breath, I can't believe I'm in this place, never in a million years did I think you would sign... I'm sorry he says, never mind what I was going to say. You're upset because I signed the papers to have you brought to Shady Brook, I say to him, is that what you were going to say? He doesn't answer, he just gives me a look. I shake my head. Todd do you even remember what happened that night? He hesitates, yes I do. But that isn't what has you upset, I ask, you're more concerned with the fact that I signed? Yes, no, I don't know what I think any more, says Todd. But I need to tell you that I'm sorry for everything, for being so angry at you and for what I was going to do to you. I never meant it and try as I might I want to do the right thing, but it never seems to work for me. I don't want to be that monster anymore, but he is always here inside of me just waiting for that moment to be unleashed. Is that why you tried to kill yourself, I ask. Yes, he answers, because of everything I had done to you that night and... And what Todd, I ask. My mother, he replies, she was telling me how horrible I am and to set myself free. She is right, I am horrible. I couldn't take it anymore and I just wanted to die, he says. I can't believe I am feeling sorry for him, part of me wants to take him in my arms and just forget everything. But I restrain myself. Do you still feel that way Todd, do you still want to die? I just know I can't go on this way anymore and I truly want to get better, so I guess you made the right call having me brought here, he says. Then you have to let Dr. Campbell help you, I say. Talk to him, tell him everything. He looks at me, Dee please believe me when I say that I never meant it, when I think back on what I did to you, I hate myself. No don't say that, just don't Todd. Look, I have to leave, visiting hours are almost up. No, says Todd, don't go. I'll be back, I promise. Just as I am about to turn he grabs my hand. I want to pull away, but I don't. He is now holding it in both of his, I look at him. His eyes are pleading and full of remorse. I love you Dee, I love you so much and I'm sorry, please forgive me. I close my eyes, I have to go Todd, I have to... I pull my hand from his and walk out quickly. Once outside Dr. Campbell sees that I am visibly shaken. Dee what happened, did Todd try something, he asks. No I say, he didn't, but I can't stand seeing him like that. I have to go doctor, I have to go. Sitting in my car, I see Todd's pleading eyes. Can I forgive him? I don't know, but one thing is for sure. I love him


	29. Chapter 29

I thought we agreed that you wouldn't have contact with Todd, says a stern Alexis. I know what I said, but that was before I knew that he had a breakdown, I say. Do you think that he could be faking, she asks. I give her a surprised look. I remembered that in one of our therapy sessions, Todd had revealed that he had once faked having D.I.D. in order to get out of a prison sentence. But I had been around so many patients in his state and unless he is a very good actor then no, he isn't faking this time. What about the divorce papers Dee, asks Alexis. Did you tell Todd? I can't Alexis, not yet. Not until he is better. Alexis sighs and gives me that look. Dee I know how you feel about him and despite everything that happened between the two of you that night, I know that you are having second thoughts. I don't know what I'm thinking or doing, I say. Do you still love him, asks Alexis. I hesitate. Never mind, she says, I think I know the answer. Oh my dear friend, she continues, you have it bad for this man. But just know that whatever you decide, you can always count on me. I smile at her, Thank you Alexis, that means the world to me. We end our lunch. Time to prepare for Starr's return.

I have sent a car to pick up Starr at the airport. While waiting for her to arrive I am trying to psych myself up for all the questions she will no doubt ask. Finally she is here, she walks in the door. The look on her face is questioning. I hug her, but her hug in return is less heart felt. She is upset with me because her father is in Shady Brook. I missed you, I say. My mind is thinking, thank God that she wasn't here when Todd and I fought and he ended up attacking me. I want to go see my dad, I want to see him now, she says. Yes of course, I say, but before you do, we need to talk. There is nothing to talk about, replies Starr, you put him in that place. There is a reason Starr, I say. I know my dad is ill, but he wasn't at that point of having to be committed when I left, she says. That's why I want to talk to you, please Starr, come sit down and let me tell you everything. Starr sits reluctantly. Alright Dee, she says, I'm listening. I have to take a deep breath before I begin, I don't want to upset Starr any further but she has to know the truth. Starr I begin, your father and I had a huge argument, actually more like a fight. What about, she asks. About me, I answer. What about you, she says. Let me begin by telling you about my past. Starr sits back in her chair. When I was about sixteen, I ran away from my foster home. I ended up in New York City. I had no money, no anything. I ended up working at a nightclub. The owner of the nightclub was Anthony Zacchara. Starr's eyes widen, Anthony Zacchara? Johnny Zaccharas father? Yes, I answer. What did you do at this club, she asks. I was a dancer. Starr is looking at me with shock. So you knew Johnny from back then and this upset dad, right? Yes Starr, but there is more to the reason why your father was angry. What more, she asks. Johnny and I were two kids in love and I got pregnant. But his father wanted us apart and he threatened to kill me and our baby so I ran away again, without telling Johnny about our child. Starr is speechless. I ended up giving the baby up for adoption. I went on with my life, going to college and starting my profession. I didn't tell your father about this, I kept it from him. And when you told him he got angry, says Starr, I can't say that I blame him. Actually Starr, I didn't tell your father. Then how did my dad find out, she asks. Johnny told him, I answer. He and your dad fought and Johnny cut your father very bad. Oh my God, exclaims Starr. When your father came home he confronted me and I told him everything I just told you. He was so angry with me and I was frightened. I told him awful truths about his past as well and he became violent. Starr now has a frightened look on her face as well. What happened Dee, did my dad hurt you? I don't want to tell her the rest, but she has to know. I hesitate before I can answer her. Dee what happened, I want to know, I have to know. Your...your father attacked me, I say. Oh no, oh my God, says Starr, please, please don't tell me that he...forced himself on you, please. I was actually glad that Starr had used the word forced instead of what it really is called...rape. He tried, I answer, but thankfully he stopped. Starr buries her head in her hands, I can't believe this, I can't. But how did you get him into Shady Brook? After what had almost happened, your father ran off and ended up on the docks almost bleeding to death from the deep gash Johnny had inflicted on him. He had a complete breakdown, talking to your grandmother Irene's ghost and she convinced him to kill himself by jumping into the harbor and just letting himself drown. Two passer's by found him and saved his life. They stated to police that he kept begging them to just let him die. He was taken to General Hospital, he had surgery on his wound and then taken to the psychiatric ward and kept under suicide watch. Starr is in tears. So I went to see him, I say, I wasn't going to, but I did. Dr. Campbell said he needed serious help and I signed the papers. So if you want to be angry with me Starr, it's alright, I will understand, but I don't regret signing. I didn't do it out of anger for your father, he does need help, more than I alone could ever give him. I did it because I...I love him. Starr is crying, I go to her and take her in my arms. She hugs me in return. This time I feel the difference in her embrace, she means it. I'm so sorry Dee for what my dad did to you. I'm sorry I was angry with you. Please Starr, don't apologize, what happened between your father and I, it has nothing to do with you. And it's okay that you were upset with me, I know how much you love your dad and how much he loves you. Your dad will be alright, remember he is a fighter, a survivor, he will get the help he needs. He wants to be whole again. If he ever was, says Starr.

Starr and I arrive at Shady Brook. I go in to see Todd first. Starr says she needs a few minutes so she can brace herself before seeing him in this place. Todd is happy to see me, but I am still a bit stand offish. He knows this but doesn't push it. Already that is a major change for Todd. He is healing very well from the surgery on his deep laceration, but still feeling some slight pain. He has been here in Shady Brook for a while now. We talk about The Sun. He misses being at work. I assure him it is being run well by Jacob and Todd's employees. Then he begins to talk about us and that he wants to come home. Is there still an us, I wonder to myself. I am actually walking around with divorce papers in my bag, a blank line at the bottom of the page waits for my signature. I try to get him off the subject. Hey guess what, I say. I have a surprise for you. You're going to love it. He looks at me with a slight smile and out of the blue asks the damndest thing. Are you pregnant? That question totally throws me off and in to orbit. What, I say. Are you pregnant, he asks again. I actually see a look of hope in his eyes. No Todd, I say with a bewildered look on my face, I'm not pregnant. Why in the world would you think that? Todd thinks back to the day he sat in his office looking at our photo and longing to start a family with me. Never mind, he says, just forget I asked that. He is clearly disappointed. What's the surprise then, he asks. Someone is here to see you, I say. Who, he asks. He hears a voice exclaim, me! He looks up to see Starr at the door. He smiles so big yet at the same time looking as if he is going to cry. She rushes to her father and hugs him tightly. His arms fly around his Starr. He lets out a little painful moan. Oh I'm sorry dad, I forgot about the surgery, I didn't mean to hurt you. He takes a deep breath, it's okay Shorty, you didn't hurt me, you never could. Besides, they give me some real good stuff here that sends you into la la land and guess what? No more pain. Starr smiles. I guess we have a lot to talk about, Todd says to Starr. Yes we do, replies Starr and she glances at me. She turns back to her father. I slowly open the door and leave the room. I still can't believe Todd would think I was pregnant. We had never talked about having a baby, but now that seems like it is never going to happen. But someone once told me, never say never.

As Starr is visiting with her father I have a conversation with Todd's therapist Dr. Campbell in his office. I have to tell you Dee, Todd has made very good progress in our sessions. He told me everything that happened that night. I'm so sorry Dee that you had to go through that. I know it must have been awful. It was, I say, but it's over. If you ever want to talk about it or anything at all, you know I am here for you, says the doctor. Thank you but I'm fine, I reply. He can clearly see that I am not. Todd's question about me being pregnant is still echoing in my head. Little do I know, that even though I said I am fine, I am about to say so much to Todd's therapist. Dr. Campbell continues. Todd's feelings about what he did, I feel are truly genuine, his remorse overwhelms him at times, has he expressed it to you when you see him? Yes, he has, I answer. He has asked for my forgiveness but. But what, asks the doctor. But I can't give it to him, not yet and it's not that I'm angry at him, not anymore. It's just that I'm heart broken. Heartbroken and scared. I kept a big secret from him and when he found out, from someone other than myself, all hell broke loose. But Dee, says Dr. Campbell, your seriously not blaming yourself for what Todd did, are you? This is the same question Alexis asked as I think back. Todd was driven by his anger, says the doctor. Yes, and I am the one who set that anger off, so yes, I do blame myself for that and I blame myself for him being cut and almost bleeding to death. But I don't take the blame for what he tried to do to me, that is all on Todd. I don't realize that I am shouting and crying. I am having my own breakdown. I love him, but I hurt him and he hurt me in the worst possible way. How can I walk on pins and needles for the rest of our married life and wonder if at any moment he will snap over some jealousy and that he won't attack me again. I can't and I won't. I love him but I have to let him go. Dee what are you saying, asks the doctor. I have had divorce papers drawn up, I answer. You do realize, says the doctor, that this could set Todd back, he has come a long way, but this is your decision. I'm conflicted doctor, part of me wants to walk in there and just hand him the damn papers and the other part is screaming wait, wait till he is well enough, strong enough. But is there ever a good time to tell someone that you're leaving them, divorcing them? And I know it will set him back and that he will lose his temper and lash out again and on and on it goes. I want him to get better. His whole life starting as a child has been awful, you know all of this doctor. I want him to be able to forgive himself for the things he has done, I want him not to hate himself anymore. That scar on his face he keeps as a constant reminder of what he did to that poor girl in college and tried to do to her again later in an alley. The scars on his body from the eight years of torture he endured. A bullet wound scar where his horrid mother shot him. And now a new scar across his chest because of me. And what about his brother Victor? He shows absolutely no remorse for killing him. He seems to be sorry for everything but that. There is too much for him to work through. I know he tries to do good but he always makes the wrong decisions or acts out in anger before thinking of the consequences. And we can help him Dee, says the doctor, he can get there. Tell me Dee, what do you really want for Todd? All I've ever wanted is for him to be happy, I answer. Well then you should know this, in every session we have had, no matter what we talk about, one thing is always a constant. He always, always tells me without fail that he truly loves you and that you make him happy. I shut my eyes and cry. Todd says that he loves me and that I make him happy, but how? How is hurting each other a recipe for happiness? Please, can someone give me the answer to that?


	30. Chapter 30

I manage to pull myself together before Starr ends her visit with Todd. I stop in for just a few minutes to say goodbye to him. As I am walking out of his room, he says, I love you Dee. I stop and turn to look at him. All I can manage is a small smile, but I can't say the words back. I do love him, but I can't say it. I turn and walk out. On the drive back to the penthouse, Starr tells me that her father told her everything. Everything that I had told her earlier. Dee, he is so ashamed and was afraid that I would be ashamed of him as well, says Starr. I told him that I wasn't, that I love him and that I want him to get well and come home to us. I'm so glad that you told him that Starr, he needed to hear that from you, he loves you so much and what you think matters so much to him. Starr smiles, yeah for a long time now I have felt like dad is the kid and I am the parent. We manage a little laugh. Well your father can certainly be that a lot of times, a big kid, but then aren't all men at some point? We laugh again. Then a little silence. Starr stares out of the car window. Dee, he says he loves you but he's afraid. I am surprised by her statement. Todd had never said that to me and Dr. Campbell did not mention anything of the sort. He's afraid, I ask. Yes, answers Starr, he knows that when you visit him that you are pulling back, distancing yourself from him. He knows that you have changed and that he is responsible for that change and he feels horrible. He knows that you are afraid of him now and it's breaking his heart. So now he is afraid, says Starr, afraid that you are going to leave him and that he has lost you too. Lost me too, I repeat. He lost everything and everyone back in Llanview, says Starr, and for a while he had lost me. I was angry because of what he did to Uncle Victor. Cole and I decided to head back to Llanview for his trial and when we couldn't get a flight there from New York, we decided to drive. That drive brought us through Port Charles and well you know the rest, Starr's voice trails off. I was at General Hospital and who shows up? Dad. He jumped bail to get to me and I was still so angry with him, but he persisted. You know my dad, Mr. Persistent, she manages a small smile. He said that he loved me and that he would never leave me even if I hated him. No matter what, I could never stay angry at my dad, he had no one and I couldn't abandon him. But now he feels that you are doing that Dee, abandoning him, are you? Starr I don't know what I am feeling or thinking most of the time anymore. Actually part of that is not true I say, I am afraid, afraid that it will happen again, and yes when I see him I do back off, I can't help it. It's understandable, says Starr, but I guess the real question is, do you still love him, because I know he loves you. I lost count of how many times he said that to me during our visit, she says. So do you Dee, do you still love my dad? I look over at Starr, yes, yes I do still love your father.

We drive on. Do you want to stop and get something to eat, I ask Starr. We can go to Kelly's. Well actually I would like to stop by the Manning building and pick up my car from the garage, she says. I have a few errands to run and I need to pick up some things. Are you sure, I ask, I would be glad to take you. No, she says, but thank you, you go ahead and I tell you what, I'll meet you at the diner. Alright I'll see you there. Starr gets in her car, she sits there for a moment. She looks at herself in the rear view mirror, and sounding like her father she says aloud, no one hurts my family and gets away with it.

She stands before The Haunted Star. She walks in. She looks around. No one is about. She walks towards Johnny's office and hears voices. She can hear Johnny and a woman, no doubt it must be Carly. She doesn't care and walks right in. To her surprise Johnny is there with a woman alright, but it isn't Carly, it is Connie Falconeri. Everyone now knows that there is no more Kate Howard, Connie is here to stay. Connie is sitting on Johnny's desk, the top of her blouse is open. Johnny jumps up from his chair and Connie turns and sneers at Starr. Hey kid, anybody ever teach you any manners, like knocking? Oh wait, Connie says as she slaps her forehead, what am I saying, your big bad daddy is Todd and we all know he is lacking highly in the manners department. You're one to talk about not having manners, Starr shoots back, look at you, you're disgusting. Connie jumps off the table and begins to button her blouse, why you little snot nose kid, who the hell do you think you are? Johnny finally opens his mouth, hey, he shouts at Connie, grabbing her arm as she is walking towards Starr. You just gonna let her talk to me like that, Connie says to Johnny. Just get your things and go, he tells Connie. She grabs her bag and walks past Starr glaring at her, Okay Johnny, but you and I have a lot to talk about, I ain't done. I know, I know says Johnny. You should be in Fern Cliff, says Starr to Connie, you got away with killing my daughter and boyfriend. Nah, says Connie, I prefer Shady Brook, it's a lot nicer. Tell me Starr, does your daddy like it too? Starr's eyes widen. Yeah honey, says Connie, I know your poppa is in there trying to get his noodle back in place. And another thing, I didn't kill anybody, she says as she glances at Johnny. Johnny nods his head no, pleading with his eyes for her not to say anything. Starr does not notice. It was Kate, that did it Connie lies, and she is gone for good. So there little Starr. She turns to leave, waving her hand over head, she exclaims, bye sweetie, say hi to your dad in the cracker factory for me. Starr slams the door behind her and she turns to Johnny fuming. Do you have anything to say to me Johnny? I'm sorry about your dad, is all he can come up with. Sorry that he is in Shady Brook, sorry that you cut him and he almost bled to death, or sorry that you told him about your past with Dee, shouts Starr. C'mon Johnny, we both know that you are not sorry for a thing, you hate my dad. And he hates me, retorts Johnny. And for the life of me I've never known why, says Starr. I always thought it was over Carly, but I think it is something more, and now your past with Dee has just added to it. Starr I never meant to cut your dad, he was punching me and it escalated, states Johnny. Oh please Johnny, I know he punched you after you told him about you and Dee. You had no right to do that, it was not your place to tell him. That was between him and my stepmother. My father wouldn't tell the police that you were the one who cut him, but maybe I should. Johnny really cares for Starr and his guilt over killing her little family has been tearing him up inside for what seems like forever. He desperately wants to help her but he has to say what he has to say to save his hyde. Don't do that Starr, you don't want to call the police, says Johnny. Why not, says Starr, is it because he hit you first? Well tell them that then, says Starr, but I'm calling. She pulls out her cell, Johnny grabs it from her. I said don't do it, he warns Starr again. Starr stands up to him unafraid, why not? Because if I go down your father goes down, Johnny exclaims. Because he hit you, Starr shouts again. Oh no, says Johnny, your father hitting me has nothing to do with it. Then what is it, yells Starr. Johnny backs away from Starr, let's just let it go at that Starr, don't push it, if you don't want your dad in anymore trouble, just let it go. Starr is livid, she grabs her bag and snatches her cell back from Johnny's hand and heads for the door. She turns to face Johnny, I guess you know that I will never perform here again and don't you ever come near me, Dee or my father again or so help me you will be sorry. Johnny can't believe his ears, this little lady is threatening him. He wishes he could tell her that he did it, he killed Hope and Cole, but what would hurt her more would be that her father knew and never told her. Starr he says, I wish it didn't have to be like this, I care about you. Take your caring and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, says Starr. Johnny is totally surprised by her saying that. C'mon Starr that is not you, he says. Damn right it's not, she says, as of this moment the old me is gone. I am the new Starr and I am Todd Manning's daughter. She points at him, and don't you ever forget it.

I sit in Kelly's Diner. I look at my watch. Still no Starr. I decide to go ahead and order. I am looking over the menu when I hear a voice. Is this chair taken? I look up to see Sonny Corinthos smiling at me. There are those dimples again, the ones I had noticed when he and Kate walked into my office back at GH. It's really crowded here tonight, he says, and there is nowhere to sit, not even at the counter. I look around and say, sure. He sits. Do you remember me, he asks? Yes Of course I do, I answer. Are you here alone, where is Mr. Manning, asks Sonny. He is working, I say. Now that is not really a lie because Todd is working, working at getting better and healing I think to myself. I'm waiting for my stepdaughter to join me. Oh yes Starr, how is she, asks Sonny, I know that she and Michael broke up. She is doing as well as can be expected, I answer. I know Starr and her father are very close, he says. Yes they are, I reply. I am beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable and I glance at the door, Starr where are you, I think yo myself. Yeah Michael and I are very close as well and I don't like to see my son hurt, Sonny continues, and I'm sure Todd feels exactly the same way about his daughter. Of course he does, I say, no parent wants their child hurt. He smiles at me again. The waitress finally arrives, I'm so sorry for the wait, she apologizes, but the joint is really jumping tonight. I give her my order and Sonny orders as well. By the way, I never got to congratulate you on your marriage to Mr. Manning, says Sonny. He is a very lucky man to marry such a beautiful woman as yourself. He is totally making me uneasy. Thank you, I say, but we have been married for a quite a while already. It's never too late to wish you well, he smiles. Thank you, I say again. I feel he is staring at me. I nonchalantly glance down at my blouse thinking, is it open or something? I look at him, he smiles and his eyes are gazing into mine. He is a good looking man but definitely not my type. I look away. Oh, he says, I see a space has just opened up at the counter. He gets up to move and he extends his hand to me. I take it apprehensively. Thank you Mrs. Manning for letting me share your table for a little while, I truly enjoyed the company. He squeezes my hand, smiles and winks at me. You're welcome, I say sounding like a school girl with a crush. He walks off. What the hell was that all about?


	31. Chapter 31

Finally Starr arrives. She sits down and I can see by the expression on her face that she is upset. What's wrong, I ask her. Oh, she says, I am officially unemployed. What, I exclaim. Dee, she says, after what Johnny did to my dad, did you think I would still want to sing at the Haunted Star? No of course not, I answer. The waitress arrives to take Starr's order. I'm not too hungry, she says, just a small green salad and ice water with lemon, please. I saw Johnny, says Starr, he was with that freak Connie Falconeri. I have never heard Starr speak about anyone like this, she actually sounded like Todd. We had words and I basically told him to stick it. Starr I say, I have never heard you talk this way. Yes, well get used to it Dee because I am done being Miss goody two shoes. I never was like this when I was small, I miss helping my dad out with his plans. Like what, I ask, smiling with curiosity. Starr smiles with nostalgia, we used to get into so much trouble together, it would drive my mom crazy, but it was so much fun. You know, she says, I once put piranhas in Max Holden's bathtub? Who's Max Holden, I ask. Oh, says Starr, he was this jerk that was always trying to get between my mom and dad one way or another. She begins to laugh. You know Dee, I even sent him a snake. She continues to laugh, I hated Max Holden. I am laughing now too. Poor Max Holden, I say. Poor Max Holden nothing, says a grinning Starr, he deserved everything he got. Dad would always try to scold me and discipline me, but as soon as mom was out of the room he would laugh, high five me and say, great job Starr. Sometimes I want that back, she says. Don't tell me you're going to put piranhas in Johnny's tub or send him a snake, I ask. Johnny is a snake, she replies, but it would serve him right. Yes it would, I smile. I notice Starr has a look in her eye, like the wheels in her head are spinning. Starr what are you thinking? Actually Dee, I want to come to work at Manning Enterprises. That would be marvelous, I would love for you to work with me at Crimson, I say. Oh I would love to work in fashion, but I was thinking, she says, since dad is out, I want to run The Sun. I can do it, I used to help out once in a while back in Llanview. Yes I want to do this, she says. I smile, I think your father would love that. But, says Starr, I don't want him to know about it, I want to surprise him. When he gets out of Shady Brook, I want to totally show him that I could do it. I am seeing a Starr that I never knew existed, a new Starr, but I don't know if it is a good thing.

Later that evening back at the penthouse, I am exiting my bedroom to head downstairs for some tea. Starr is just coming into the long hall with an apple and stops. She looks at me and then at the bedroom door with a confused look on her face. What are you doing in there, she asks. That's not yours and dads bedroom. Then she realizes and she brings her hand to her mouth. I feel a little flustered. Starr I can't bring myself to sleep in that room or on that bed, I say. Oh Dee, I'm sorry, I totally understand, I hope I didn't upset you? No you didn't, I'll just have to work through this, I say. Okay, she says, but if you want to talk, I'm just down the hall. Thank you I say, we hug and say our good nights. That night as I lay in bed, I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about him. I close my eyes and I can see his face, his smile and I can actually feel him. I open my eyes to find myself hugging my pillow. I'm not angry at him, but I am scared. Why did I not tell him everything a long time ago? I have been a coward and look what it has cost. Todd lashing out in anger at me, Todd almost dying, his sanity in pieces, and our marriage in jeopardy. Can we save our marriage? And more importantly, can we save ourselves?

The next morning Starr is eager and ready to get to work at The Sun. I accompany her to Todd's office. We walk in, I expect to see Todd sitting at his desk but there the room sits empty. Starr walks around the desk, opens the vertical blinds, pulls out her dad's chair and sits down. She looks so small sitting in her father's big chair. She looks up at me and smiles big and I smile big at her too. Well here we go, she says. She picks up the phone and says to Todd's receptionist Linda, get Jacob Turner down here now, we have a paper to get out. I walk around the desk to give her a good luck hug. As I turn to leave I see the photo of myself and Todd that he has sitting on his desk. That is a beautiful picture of you and my dad, says Starr. I want to see you both like that again, she says, smiling and happy. Don't give up on him Dee, it's all worth fighting for, you'll see. I turn and look at Starr, how did you get to be so smart, I ask her with a smile. She sits back in that big chair, I'd like to think I got a lot of it from my dad. I am my father's daughter after all.

I head back to my office at Crimson. Later that afternoon I receive a call from Dr. Campbell. He wants me to attend a session with Todd the following day. It's time for a face to face and he feels that Todd is ready. I tell him I will be there. I open the drawer to my desk and pull out my own photo of Todd and myself. Taken in the Caribbean by the ocean. I smile. What a wonderful month that was, just he and I in paradise. No outside world, no Port Charles, no secrets, no lies. We were living in a fantasy because when it was over, the world seemed to come crashing down on us both. Again that night I cannot sleep. I think about the day ahead and what will be the outcome of it all.

The next morning I walk Starr down to The Sun. She is loving every minute of working at her father's paper. I tell her about the session I am going to attend. She hugs me and before I leave, she tells me again, don't give up on him. I arrive at Shady Brook. I am in Dr. Campbell's office waiting. Are you ready for this Dee, he asks me. As ready as I will ever be, I answer. Todd is doing remarkably well and he said he is ready. Just then the door opens and Todd walks in. I hadn't noticed that his hair has gotten longer. He is wearing a black t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. It is very rare to see him dressed this way, but he does once in a while. He looks relaxed and I find that he is taking my breath away. Snap out of it Dee, I think to myself, you can't let his appearance cloud your thinking. He smiles at me, hi Dee, you look good, beautiful. Why am I blushing? Hello Todd, is all I say. Well then, says Dr. Campbell, shall we begin? We all sit. Todd and I are facing one another and Dr. Campbell sits to the side. Todd he says, you can begin, you said you had many things you wanted to say to Dee. Todd looks at me straight in my eyes. Yes I do, says Todd. Dee, he says, first of all I want to start by saying that I am truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you. There is no excuse for what I tried to do to you. I have always made excuses and blamed others for my actions. And the truth be known, if it weren't for being in this place and the doctors help I would probably be ranting and raving and putting it all on you. I have always justified my actions, putting blame on everyone but myself. I could make excuses now, like blaming my bad childhood, my eight year imprisonment, my PTSD for everything, but it is just that, excuses. I am responsible for my actions. My temper and my jealousy get the better of me, they always have. I am working on it, I don't want it to rule my life. I was so angry that night and so damn jealous. The thought of you with anyone else made me insane. He laughs, insane, get it? Both Dr. Campbell and I smile. Todd continues, but that was wrong of me, you had a life before we ever met and no matter what kind of life it was, I had no right to judge you. I am so sorry you had to give your child away and what I said to you about that, I had no right. After what I did to my own son and his mother. I'm sorry, he says again. I want so much to get better, to be better. I want to be a better man and a worthy husband to you. I don't blame you if you hate me and are, he hesitates...afraid of me. He looks down at his hands, I notice he is wringing them.

Todd, I don't hate you. But yes, I will admit I was very afraid that night and for a long while after that. And I have an apology to make to you. Todd looks at me. I am sorry for keeping everything about my life in New York a secret. I probably would have told you a long time ago, but when I knew how much you hated Johnny, I couldn't tell you about our past. I was a coward, I was afraid and look what I caused. What, says Todd, you didn't cause anything, I...I attacked you, no matter what, I should have never done that. But because of me, I say, Johnny cut you and you almost died. No, says Todd, that was because of him, not you. Todd, I have to take some blame here, so please just let me say I'm sorry. I want so much for you to be better and you will be. And I have to be a better person as well, so from now on, no more secrets or lies. With that statement I reach for my bag. I pull out the papers and I hand them to Todd. Todd takes them slowly from my hand as if knowing what they are. He looks at them, and then up at me with a disappointed look on his face. You're divorcing me? I had those drawn up the day after that awful night Todd, I reply. He is silent. I take the papers back from him and pull out my pen. He begins to shake his head no. Dr. Campbell is just as disappointed. I sit the papers down on the table and with the pen I mark a giant X across the pages. Then I proceed to tear them in half. Todd is looking at the torn papers and then he looks at me, relief across his face. Dr. Campbell is relieved as well. Todd smiles, you're giving me another chance, you don't know how much this means to me. Todd, I want to give us another chance, but you have to know that we just can't go back to the way it used to be. It's going to take some time, for you and for me. We are going to have to work our way back to one another. I know, says Todd. I don't know what I would do without you and I don't ever want to find out. I promise I will make it all up to you, he says. Todd you don't have to make anything up to me, just get better so you can come home. Todd stands, can I get a hug? I stand and approach him slowly. This will be the first time in a long time that we have made any kind of physical contact. The last time was that horrible night, but that was not contact, that was force. He wraps his arms around me, I wrap mine around him. He feels wonderful, he feels strong and I don't want this moment to end. He whispers in my ear, I love you Mrs. Manning. I finally can say the words to him again. I love you too, Mr. Manning.

That evening as I am lying in bed, I am thinking. No more secrets and lies. Todd never said anything when I mentioned that part. And that can only be because he still has things he has not told me yet. Dammit Todd, why can't you tell me? Part of me is regretting not confronting him on that, but the other part is saying, no, you're better off not knowing. For the longest time I have been wondering what his secrets are but I'm tired and for now I am willing to let them go. Please Dear Lord, I pray, don't let them come back one day and bite me on the behind.

That same night Todd is laying in his bed. The clinic of Shady Brook is quiet. Someone is lurking through the hall. Todd has his eyes closed but is not sleeping. His room is dark. He hears the door to his room open. He knows that no nurse's check on him during the evening anymore since his wound is all but healed. Dr. Campbell does not make rounds in the middle of the night. He lies still and listens. He hears whoever it is try to step lightly. Finally Todd turns, he can barely see in the darkness of his room. He can make out a figure wearing a hoodie, but cannot see the face. The figure raises its arm and Todd can see a glimmer. Todd grabs this figures arm and they struggle. He can tell by the strength that this is a male. They struggle some more until Todd is off the bed. With one hand he is trying to hold this persons hand off with whatever he is holding in it. With the other he is trying to pull off the hood to maybe see his face. The man breaks his arm free of Todd's and that's when he feels it, a sharp sting in his back. Todd loses his grip and falls to the floor. He is on his hands and knees. He tries to grab the man's leg but the figure pulls away. Todd collapses onto his stomach. All he can make out are the person's feet, the door to his room opens and this person is gone. He feels that sensation again, he is falling and then he passes out.


	32. Chapter 32

The next morning Todd is found by a nurse, laying on the floor, unresponsive and barely breathing. The attending physician cannot find any signs of trauma on him. Nine one one is called and he is rushed to General Hospital. He is taken in to the emergency room, put on oxygen, but he has still not regained consciousness. His heart rate is slow. Dr. Steven Webber is examining his body and with the help of the assisting nurses, they turn him onto his side. There Dr. Webber sees a small bruise on his back. In the center of this bruise he can see a small red dot, the clear sign of a needle mark. He puts a rush on Todd's blood work. By this time Dr. Campbell, his therapist has arrived. Todd is taken to ICU, barely alive. Dr. Webber, what happened, what is wrong with him, asks Dr. Campbell. Steve shakes his head, as of this moment I can't be sure but it seems that Mr. Manning was injected with something. Whatever it was has slowed his vitals down. I am waiting for the lab results on his blood so I can know how to proceed. Dr. Campbell cannot believe what he is hearing. He is allowed to go into ICU and see Todd. There he lies, hooked up to machines helping him breath, helping his heart. It is clear to the doctor, someone has tried to kill Todd Manning. He goes out into the hall and calls the police. Then the call he dreads to make. He calls me.

I can't drive, I am too upset. Starr is driving. We arrive at GH and we make our way to the ICU unit. There we find Dr. Campbell. I rush to him, frantic. What happened, where's Todd, I have to see him. He takes me by the shoulders, Dee you have to calm down. Calm down? You call this morning and tell me that Todd has been rushed to the hospital and that it doesn't look good and you want me to calm down? Doctor tell us what happened to my dad, pleads Starr. We don't know, he answers. What do you mean you don't know, I say practically in tears. He was found this morning on the floor of his room unconscious, he says. Did my father try to kill himself again, asks Starr, as she is becoming more upset. No, says Dr. Campbell, actually by the looks of his room, it seems there was some kind of struggle. Someone was in there last night and tried to... Tried to what, I shout. Someone was trying to kill him. I feel as if I have been punched in the stomach. How, shouts Starr. He was injected with something, but we don't know what yet. The lab is working on it. I have to see him now I plead. Dr. Campbell leads us to his room, Starr and I walk in. Just one glance at him and I want to faint. Starr takes my hand. We are at his bedside. There are machines, too many. His arms are filled with tubes. He is breathing with the help of a respirator and another monitoring his heart. I had just seen him yesterday, he was happy when I left, and now here he lays clinging to life. The tears are falling from my eyes. I brush my fingers through his hair, it is longer and feels so soft. Todd I say, we're here. Starr and I are here. Starr takes his hand, dad please open your eyes. She is crying as well. Nothing. I lean forward and kiss his forehead still brushing his hair with my fingers. After a little while Starr decides to step out and I am alone with Todd. Open your eyes, I say to him, squeeze my hand, let me know you can hear me. C'mon Todd, let me see those beautiful hazel eyes, wake up and say something smart ass. If ever I want to hear him be snarky, it's now. Okay, I say, it's okay, whenever you're ready. Just know this Todd, I love you, did you hear me? I love you. I am about to put his hand down when I feel him squeeze mine. Did I imagine it? Todd, you squeezed my hand, do it again, please. He does. I am so happy I run to call for a doctor, a nurse, anyone. A nurse rushes in and Dr. Webber is called. Starr I say, he squeezed my hand twice, he can hear us, he knows we're here. We hug. Dr. Campbell smiles. Just then the police arrive. It is the police commissioner Anna Devane and Lt. John McBain.

John McBain approaches me. Mrs. Manning, he nods. I'm sorry to hear about Todd. How is he? I really don't know, not too good but he just squeezed my hand. That's a good sign, he says. I know this is a difficult time, but I need to ask you some questions. Yes of course I say. We walk to the seating area. I glance back to see Anna Devane talking to Dr. Campbell and Starr. Starr looks at me, we share a glance knowing what to say and what to leave out. Do you know anyone who might have wanted to do this to your husband? My mind automatically goes to Johnny Zacchara. Lt. McBain, you as well as anybody know that Todd is not at the top of any bodies favorite people list. He nods his head in agreement. In fact I know that you don't care for him much yourself, I say. It doesn't matter what I think about your husband, but this is my job. Now Mrs. Manning, may I do that job? I sigh heavily, yes, go ahead. Has Todd had a run in with anybody lately that you know of? I can't believe I am going to do this after saying no more secrets, no more lies, but I do. I lie, and to a police officer no less. No I can't think of any incident. He looks at me not convinced that I am telling the truth. Hmmm...well of course we have a police report saying that Todd was found cut and bleeding about a month or so ago. I am at a loss for words and John is watching me very closely, observing me. Who did it, who cut Todd, he asks. Now I know that Todd never turned Johnny in for that, but could I do it? And if I did, I would have to tell the Lieutenant about everything, Todd and Johnny fighting and eventually Todd attacking me. I lie again, I don't know, I say. John continues, so Todd has been in Shady Brook huh? Yes, I say, he had a breakdown and tried to kill himself. I have said too much, I think to myself. Kill himself, says John, why? Nightmares, I hear myself say. He had been having a lot of nightmares about still being held captive and being tortured. He even was beginning to dream about his father hurting him and then Irene. Irene, says John, his mother? Yes, she was appearing to him and she is the one who convinced him to end it all, he was ready to jump into the harbor. Oh yes, says John I remember now, I read that in the report as well. He was found on the docks. But he was already cut when he was found, he says. I don't know, I say, maybe someone did this to him out there, the docks are a dangerous place to be. Maybe, says Lt. McBain. He is looking at me with skepticism. John stands, well if you think of anything, please call me. He walks off, hands in pockets. I know he did not believe a word I just said.

I see John stop and talk to Starr. I see them hug. And I also see Commissioner Devane heading straight toward me. Mrs. Manning, I'm Police Commissioner Anna Devane. Yes, I know who you are, I say. First let me say that I'm sorry about your husband and I do hope he will improve. He will, I say, he is the strongest person I know. I know you've already answered questions for Lt. McBain, but I would like to ask you one. I nod yes to the Commissioner. Where were you last night, Mrs Manning? I am totally stunned by her question. Commissioner Devane, are you suggesting that I did this to my husband? I'm not suggesting anything, she says, but since you said it, did you do this to your husband? First of all, you said you wanted to ask one question and you have asked me two. Oh my, I realize at that very moment that I am sounding like Todd. No Commissioner, I did not do this, it is totally ridiculous. I love that man that is laying in that room fighting for his life. I am shouting, people are looking. Starr rushes to my side. Dee, it's alright, calm down. Commissioner Devane has to ask these things. She asked me the same thing, says Starr. I'm sorry Mrs. Manning, I didn't mean to upset you, but I have a job to do and if I am going to find the person that did this to your husband then I have to ask these questions, do you understand? Yes I do Commissioner, I answer. I apologize for raising my voice, but I am telling you again that I did not do this. I was home in bed. You can check with security at Manning Enterprises, I never left our penthouse till Starr and I came to the hospital. If need be, I might do that, she says. She turns to leave, then turns back to face Starr and myself. Your husband Todd has been a frequent guest at the PCPD interrogation room. I know he is not the favorite person of many, but never the less, someone tried to kill him last night and I assure you that Lt. McBain and I will do everything possible to find out who did this and why. She turns and walks away.

Once the police have left, Starr and I sit. We look around to make sure there is no one lurking and listening. Dee, I didn't tell the Commissioner or John about Johnny Zacchara and dad fighting and that he cut him. Or about what dad did after at the penthouse. I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't either, I say to Starr. But we'll have to talk about this some other time though, it just isn't safe to talk about it here. Starr nods in agreement. Just then we see Dr. Webber approaching us. Both Starr and I jump to our feet. Dr. Webber, have you found out anything about what my husband was injected with, I ask. Well yes and no, he answers. What the hell does that mean, I say desperately. He was injected with two forms of drugs. We were able to identify one specifically as Propafol. The other drug we have not been able to identify specifically, but we believe it was some sort of masking agent. But I can tell you that when these two drugs were mixed together, they were meant to make it seem as if someone has died of natural causes. They slow the vitals down. Fortunately your husband was found in time. I'd say at least one more hour and it would have been too late. What can be done for him now, asks Starr. I have started a drip that will eventually help work these drugs out of his system. However, this process will take time. Dr. Webber, he squeezed my hand, I say. Yes, he replies, he seems to be responding, but he has not opened his eyes yet, but it's very clear that he can hear us. So will he be alright, I ask. Please say he will be, please. I don't see why your husband shouldn't make a full recovery, answers Dr. Webber, but I do have to tell you that unfortunately there may be some lasting damage from the drugs. Lasting damage? What do you mean? What, I say frantic again. The doctor continues, the drugs may have weakened the heart muscles, he will more than likely be on heart medication. For how long, asks Starr. It could be temporary or for the rest of his life. I will have to wait and see and move forward once we have cleansed his system of these drugs. Please, just do whatever it takes to help him, I say. I will, says Dr. Webber. Thank you, I say. Yes, thank you doctor, says Starr as well. He smiles and tells us that we may go in to see him. Keep talking to him he says, we'll get him to open his eyes yet. He walks off. Dr. Campbell tells us he will be back later, he has scheduled sessions for the day. Starr and I take turns talking to Todd. He squeezes our hands. I am happy for this, but my true happiness will be when I am able to look into his eyes.


	33. Chapter 33

It has been three days since Todd was brought to General Hospital. Dr. Webber says that his recent blood tests shows no signs of the deadly drugs he was injected with. He is surprised the drugs have left his system so quickly. He concludes that whoever injected him fortunately did not get to inject him with the full dose. But Todd has not yet opened his eyes. Why? I have not left his side for one moment. Starr left a few times to check on things at The Sun. She brought me a change of clothes and she had to convince me to eat. On the third day, that morning after the Doctor had checked on him, I am brushing his hair, with my fingers as usual just to feel its softness. I am holding his hand in mine, talking softly to him. I am gazing upon his face, he looks so peaceful. I am studying his features, I guess I never had just stopped and really looked at him. My attention turns to his scar. Beginning just under his right eye, curving over his cheek and towards his ear. I begin to trace it softly with my fingers, feeling its raised texture. This scar that he holds on to, to remind him of his horrid past. And yet without this scar, he would not be Todd Manning, I wouldn't recognize him. I love you Todd, I say, as my fingers move along this mark, and then it happens. His eyes open. I gasp. He shifts his eyes towards me and he blinks trying to focus. I am so happy. Tears of joy are falling. Hey you, I say, it's about time you wake up. For someone who doesn't like to sleep you sure took one hell of a nap. He is still looking at me, he tries to speak but his throat is dry and he is weak. It's alright Todd, don't try to talk. Let me go get the doctor. I try to walk away but he is gripping my hand and pulling me back. Maybe he is not so weak after all. The strength in his grip is hard. He finally manages to speak. Don't go Dee, don't leave. Stay! I smile at him, okay, I'll stay, for as long as you want me. He smiles a small smile back and says in a whisper, stay forever.

As time goes on, Todd is getting stronger. He is driving the nurses crazy. The only one who can take him on and give it back is Epiphany. He actually likes her and she makes him laugh. One afternoon as Todd and I are discussing his release from GH and subsequently his release from Shady Brook, Epiphany walks in. You have a visitor Mr. Manning. No visitors says Todd, only my wife and my daughter. Whoever it is tell them to go away. Oh and hold any calls. Excuse me, says Epiphany, I am not your servant and I am not here to do your bidding. You are in my hospital and I am head nurse, I am in charge of you. And that's only because no other nurse wants to deal with you and your attitude. She is walking towards Todd pointing her finger at him. I am sitting back just enjoying the show. So Mr. Manning, if you don't want me to tell the cafeteria to withhold your Jello, you better straighten up. You don't mean it, says Todd, you would take away my Jello? I love Jello. Well then try me, says Epiphany. Okay, okay, says Todd, I'll be good, but don't take away my dessert. Well we will just see how good you will be and how long it lasts, she says. Now, I said you have a visitor and I'm sending him in. She turns and opens the door. Todd looks at me and says, that woman is totally in love with me. Epiphany turns and looks at Todd, oh honey you have no idea and it hurts when I have to threaten you by withholding your Jello. Todd laughs as do I. But Todd's laughter stops when John McBain enters the room.

There he stands as usual, all in black and hands in pockets. He's all yours says Epiphany to John, if he gives you a hard time just call me and I'll have him in a sleeper hold that will put him out for hours. John smiles, thank you nurse, I'd really like to see that. As she walks out she winks at Todd, be good now. Todd's expression has changed as has mine. Hello Mrs. Manning, he says. Hello, is all I say. He looks at Todd and nods, how you doing Manning? I was feeling fine until you walked in, Todd answers. I guess you know why I'm here, says John. Don't tell me, says Todd, you're here to arrest me. John smiles again, actually, it's a miracle but I'm not here to arrest you. But now that you brought it up, have you done something that I should be arresting you for? Oh c'mon, says Todd, you know damn well when something goes wrong in Llanview or Port Charles, I'm the number one go to guy. Todd is getting irritated, he is still hooked up to the heart monitor and it is beginning to race. I stand and face John McBain. Lt. Are you aware that Todd's heart has suffered damage because of the drugs someone shot into him at Shady Brook? No, he answers, I didn't know. Well now you do, I say angrily, and he cannot have any stress. I'm sorry, he says, but I need to ask him some questions about the night of the attack. Isn't there any other officer that can do this, I ask. Just then Todd takes hold of my hand, Dee it's alright, I'll answer the Lieutenants questions. I look at Todd, he gives me a slight smile. Are you sure, I ask him. He nods yes. Alright then I say, I'll be right outside. I look at McBain and walk out of the door. I stop right outside trying to remain within earshot, but I am distracted. Mrs. Manning? I turn to see Epiphany. I want to apologize for talking to your husband that way but he is just such... Before she can finish, I say, he's just a pain in the rear end? She laughs, I was going to say neck, but I think the rear end is much more accurate. Tell me, she asks, how in the world do you put up with him? I smile, I guess I just know how to handle him, but believe me, it definitely is not easy. Epiphany shakes her head, well more power to you and you get my vote for wife of the year. I smile, but I'm thinking, wife of the year? Not by a long shot. The nurse returns back to her duties and I return my focus to Todd's door.

Okay says Todd, let's get this over with. John looks at Todd, tell me everything you remember from that night. Todd inhales deep, I was lying in bed, not sleeping. I had my back to the door. I heard it open and I knew it was not the nurse or my doctor. I just lay still, listening, I could hear whoever it was treading softly and getting closer. I turned but could only make out a sort of silhouette. He had on something like a jacket or sweater with a hood. I saw him raise his hand and I caught a glimmer of something. You said him, says John, how do you know it was a him? Because I fought and this person was strong, and tall, not as tall as me, but tall. John asks, you said there was a glimmer? Yes, I don't know how I saw that, the room was dark, but I saw it. Clearly it was the syringe and needle, says John, what else? I was trying to get the hood off to see the face and at the same time trying to stop him from using that shiny object on me. I thought maybe it was a knife. He broke free from my hold and that's when I felt the sting in my back. I fell and all I saw were his feet rushing out of the door. Did this person ever say anything to you? No, answers Todd. Do you remember any smells? No. You said you thought it was a knife, why? I told you, because all I saw was something shiny and that's the first thing that came to my mind. Do you think that maybe this was the same person that cut you on the docks? Todd is surprised by McBains question. John is looking at Todd, well how about it Manning, do you think it was the same person? Todd swallows, I don't remember much about that night on the docks. Well let me refresh your memory, says John, you were on the docks trying to kill yourself. You had a breakdown and wanted to end it all by drowning. Two good Samaritans saved your life, but they stated to police that you were already cut and bleeding to death. Who did that to you? Were you mugged? Did you have a fight with someone, asks the lieutenant. Todd flashes back to his fight with Johnny and Johnny slicing him open. Hey, Manning, says John waving his hand in Todds face. Todd snaps out of his memory of that night, what? How did you get cut, asks John again. I don't remember, answers Todd, besides that was a long time ago, you need to find out who did this, as he points to his hospital bed, forget about the docks. John is frustrated knowing he is not going to get any answers from Todd about that night. But actually Todd is right, this is a totally different investigation, but McBain is trying to connect the two. Look, either ask me questions about the night at Shady Brook or leave, says an irritated Todd. He then makes a face and drops his head back on to his pillow, his heart monitor is racing again. He raises his hand to his chest and is breathing heavily. John rushes to the door and calls for the nurse. Epiphany runs in and I am right behind her. Mr. Manning, take it easy, calm down, easy, easy. Todd's breathing becomes slower and his heart rate is slowing to normal. I turn to John, what the hell did you do, I told you not to upset him. I was just asking him questions, says John. You know damn well you don't like Todd, I shout, and I don't even know why you are on this investigation. I think you did this on purpose. Mrs. Manning you are way off base, I am just... I interrupt, I know, I know, you are just doing your job. Well go do your job somewhere else and stay away from my husband. In fact, I am calling Commissioner Devane and demand that she remove you from this case. Hey you two, says Epiphany, take it outside. It's alright, says John, I'm leaving. And with that he turns and goes. I am furious as I turn and go to Todds bedside. He is breathing easier now. He takes my hand and smiles at me. Epiphany leaves to call for the doctor. Once she is gone, Todd sits up with a big grin on his face, damn Mrs. Manning, you just told McBain off. That was awesome. Yeah well, I say, someone very close to me once said, "no one messes with the people I love."

I keep true to my statement. I call and ask to speak to commissioner Devane. I am told she is not in, would I like to leave a message. Hell no, I will just have to make a trip down to PCPD and see her myself. Dr. Webber is done checking on Todd and says that he is doing better but he must not have any more stress. How am I going to keep the police away, I say, I want them to find whoever did this to my husband. I understand that, says Dr. Webber, but my patient's health and recovery is my number one priority. Actually, I say, it is only one officer that irritates my husband, and it goes way back to when they both lived in Llanview. That officer is with the PCPD now and I swear he has made it his life's mission to destroy my husband. Well then we will have to make sure this officer does not continue to question him, says Dr. Webber. I am so on it, I say. I will take care of Lt. John McBain once and for all.


	34. Chapter 34

I had not left the hospital once since I had arrived. I couldn't. I informed Starr about John questioning Todd and that her father's heart started to react to the stress. She is upset. She has known John for years and considers him a good friend. She told me that John had once married her mother Blair after she had been stabbed. Victor, the man that everyone thought was Todd, tried to take Starr and her brothers away from Blair when she was recovering after almost dying from her stab wounds. They married to show the court that John was taking care of Blair and he would be the guardian to her children. Wow, I say, what a noble gesture, John McBain is just a knight in shining armor isn't he? Starr looks at me, he did it to help us, but he never could stand my dad, even though it turned out to be my Uncle Victor. When my real dad showed up in Llanview after escaping, John actually helped him. I think he even liked my dad for about a minute until my dad started reverting to his old tactics. Scheming, lying, manipulating. It ended with John bursting in on my mom and dad while they...were...uh, Starr shakes her head. Anyway, John arrested my dad for killing my Uncle Victor and the rest is history. I know the end of that story, I think to myself. Todd had told me in one of our therapy sessions. He and Blair were in bed, in each other's arms after reuniting when John burst in. I think the reason Todd was more angry with John was not because he arrested him, but because of where. Arrest me anywhere, but not in Blair's bed. I'm really disappointed in John, says Starr. Starr I say, will you stay with your father while I run a very important errand? Of course, she answers, this is the first time you have left since dad was brought here, it must really be important. Yes it is, I say, please call me if anything happens and just tell your father I had to check on something at Crimson. Starr nods but she is a smart girl and knows I am more than likely headed to take care of John. Before I leave I look in on Todd, he is sleeping as Starr sits by his bedside. I borrow Starr's car and head to the PCPD.

I walk into the police department and ask the officer at the desk to speak with Commissioner Devane. He informs me that she is out but will be returning in about a half an hour. I tell him that I will wait. I sit at one of the desks. The place is bustling. I am just looking around, observing when I glance at the nameplate on the desk I am sitting at. It reads, Lt. John McBain. Oh no, I say aloud and get up to move. When I turn, I bump right into the Lt. himself. My purse falls, its contents spilling out. We both kneel to retrieve the items and we bump our heads. The bump knocks me on my behind. John reaches his hand down to help me up and I slap it away. No thanks, I say, I can get up myself. You know Mrs. Manning, if I wanted to, I could have you arrested for assaulting a police officer. Oh sure, I say, go ahead, I'm sure it will make your day to arrest a Manning. If you can't get Todd, get his wife. I finally stand and I straighten my clothes up and dust them off. John hands me my purse, I grab it from him. Mrs. Manning, you really need to bring it down a notch, he says. What, I say, are you kidding, you almost gave Todd a heart attack. You have to have a heart in order to have an attack, says John. I want to slap John for that, but I won't do Todd or Starr any good being in a jail cell. I lower my voice, why you son of a bitch, don't you ever talk about my husband like that. Listen, says John, I think you and I need to get some things straight. He takes me by the elbow and leads me into the interrogation room. He closes the door behind him. I don't want to hear anything you have to say Lieutenant. I am here to speak to your boss and have you taken off this investigation. Look Mrs. Manning, it's true, I really don't care too much for your husband and he certainly doesn't like me, but I want to find out who did this to him. He has the right to be helped by the law and I am the one who is going to do it. I shake my head no. Lieutenant, every time he sees you, he gets angry, he can't have that, not now that those drugs have weakened his heart. And no more smart remarks about that, I say to John. Okay, says John, I'm sorry about what I said. I look him straight in the eyes, I know why Todd hates you Lt. McBain. John looks at me with curiosity, you do huh, why then? You arrested him when he was in bed with Blair. Seriously, couldn't you have waited? That must have been humiliating for both of them. John shakes his head, I'm not going to apologize for what I did or how I did it, but look at it this way. What if I hadn't of arrested him, Blair wouldn't have dumped him, he wouldn't have ended up here in Port Charles, you two would have never met and you wouldn't be Mrs. Todd Manning. I give John a disgusted look. And if you hadn't of arrested him, there would have been no trial and Starr, Hope and Cole would have not been driving through Port Charles and they wouldn't have crashed and you know the rest. John walks towards me and stands inches from my face, are you seriously saying that it's my fault Hope and Cole are dead? Well since you insist on playing the what if game, then why not, I answer. Listen lady, he says, if anybody is to blame for that, after you take away the Kate Howard and Anthony Zacchara connection, it all comes down to Todd. I look straight into John McBains eyes, I don't want you on this case and I will move heaven and earth to have you removed. You stay away from us, do you hear me? You are not the only officer in this place and you can drop that holier than thou act too. I know a thing or two about you, so don't pretend Todd is the only one with skeletons in his closet. John steps back, were you always like this, he asks. Or has being married to Todd made you this way? You don't know me, I say. I am who I am. Todd loves me for me and doesn't try to change me and I love him just the way he is. We understand each other. I turn to walk out. Mrs. Manning, says John. I turn. Just to let you know, you have a very hard head and he rubs the bump forming on his. I guess that's another reason you and Manning work together so well together, you're both hard headed as hell? John smirks, just another reason he loves you, huh? You have no idea, I say, as I close the door behind me.

By now I am sure that Commissioner Devane has arrived. I ask the front desk. I am taken to her office. Hello Mrs. Manning, how may I assist you, how is your husband? My husband is doing better, but I wanted to let you know something. Please have a seat, she says as she sits behind her desk. What is this something I need to know? The doctor has informed me that my husband's heart has been weakened by the drugs someone used to try and kill him. He cannot have any stress. I see, says Commissioner Devane, and this investigation is stressing him, is that what you're saying? Not so much the investigation, but one particular officer, I answer. Anna sits back in her chair, don't tell me, let me guess, it's Lt. John McBain isn't it? Yes I say, he and my husband know each other from Llanview and they do not care for each other one bit. I'm sure the Lieutenant is a fine officer, but whenever he questions my husband it turns in to more of a confrontation. When he was asking him questions earlier, my husband had an episode, so you see I think Mr. McBain should be taken off the investigation. Well says the Commissioner, Lt. McBain is one of my finest, my other is Detective Dante Falconeri, but unfortunately he is dealing with his wife going on trial for shooting Johnny Zacchara, I'm sure you read about it in your husband's paper, she smiles. Of course I did, so are you seriously saying that you have no other officer who can handle this? I will handle it personally, she answers, but Lt. McBain will remain on the case. I will keep him strictly to the investigative side of your husband's case. If there are any questions to be asked of your husband, I will be the one doing that. Will this be to your satisfaction Mrs. Manning? Just as long as Lt. McBain does not come near him, I say. I'll see that he keeps his distance, I wouldn't want Mr. Manning having an attack, that would certainly not reflect well on the department, says Anna. Thank you Commissioner, I appreciate your help. I stand as does the Commissioner. She smiles at me, may I ask you a question? Certainly, I answer. How do you do it? How do I do what? How do you handle being married to such a complex character like Todd Manning, it can't be easy. Why does every one ask me that, I say. I shake my head, I am just as complex as he is and we get each other and no it isn't always easy, but no matter what happens between us, we are pulled together by some greater force. So you believe in a greater force, asks the Commissioner. Yes I do, it's that feeling of not being able to be without one another, needing, wanting. Hmmm says the Commissioner, it sounds like obsession to me. Have you never felt that for anyone Commissioner, a greater force? Anna's mind drifts to thoughts of she and Duke Lavery, she quickly snaps out of it. Well, I say, a greater force or obsession, call it what you will Ms. Devane, but I just call it love.


	35. Chapter 35

I arrive back at GH. Todd is out of bed and sitting next to Starr. He is using her laptop. Todd is checking on things at The Sun. He still has no idea that Starr has been running the show in his absence. He thinks Jacob is handling it all. Everyone at the paper has been informed that if Todd calls, they are not to tell him about Starr. Oh Dee, says Starr, I'm so glad you're back. She looks at me with wide eyes, dad is trying to do some work, but I told him he needs to take it easy. Can you tell him to stop and just rest, he's not listening to me. Todd does not hear us, he is pounding away on the keyboard. I go and thump his head with my finger, hey you. He looks up, the doctor said no work, no stress, just rest. I am taking the laptop. Hey, hey wait I was just sending an e-mail to Jacob, says Todd. Well send it already and stop. He hits send. He is frowning at me as I give Starr back her computer. She takes it and says she has to run. She kisses her dads cheek, I'll be back later dad. He is pouting. I'll walk you out, I say. Once out of Todd's room I tell Starr about John. He won't be bothering your father, he is still on his case but Commissioner Devane will deal personally with your dad. That's great says Starr, he needs to take it easy. And by the way it was a close call, he wanted to use my computer to check in with the paper, I thought my cover was blown. I should have never brought it with me. It's alright, I say, he didn't find out, so we are still safe. Starr leaves and I go back into Todd's room. He is back in his bed with his arms folded across his chest, still pouting and frowning like a six year old. Are you mad because we took your toy away, I tease. You're such a party pooper, he says. I laugh and go sit on his bed. So I am, but I don't care, I say still laughing. It's not funny, says Todd. Yes it is, look at you, you're acting like a little boy, and a spoiled little boy at that. The expression on his face is softening and he smiles, really? That bad huh? Yes, I love it, I say. He starts to laugh as well. I like to see you laugh Todd, you should do it more often, we both should. Yeah, he says, these past months have been nothing to laugh at. No they haven't, I say looking away from him. The laughter has stopped. He takes my hand, Dee I'm so sorry for everything. You already said that Todd, you don't have to say it again. Yes I do, I just have a feeling that you're not truly convinced that I am. I am silent. See, I knew it, he says. I believe you Todd, I do. He has entwined his fingers with mine, I feel him pulling me closer to him. I don't want to move but I do. I am now laying by his side on his hospital bed, we are facing each other. He runs his fingers through my hair and then down my cheek. I then raise my hand and trace my fingers softly over his scar. He closes his eyes, you did that when I was still unconscious. You felt that, I ask. Yes I did, he answers, I was talking to you but it was all in my head, I couldn't make my eyes open, and the words couldn't come out, nothing worked, but I could feel your touch. What were you saying in your head Todd? I was saying that I loved you, and you said that you loved me, I heard you, I know I wasn't dreaming, he replies. No you weren't Todd, I said it. In his softest voice, Todd says, say it again Dee, now that my eyes are open, I want to see your lips say the words. He puts his fingers lightly to my lips and watches my mouth as I say, I love you Todd, I love you. He is closer and he pulls me to him and for the first time in the longest time, we kiss. His lips are warm and so inviting. I want more than his kiss, but it is impossible. We kiss over and over, lingering and passionate. All the while we don't even notice that his heart monitor is beeping off the charts.

The beeping of the monitor is signaling at the nurses station. Elizabeth Webber, Dr. Webber's sister rushes in. She finds us together, our arms wrapped around each other. We are startled out of our kiss, I sit up and jump off of the bed. Nurse Webber goes to Todd's side, Mr. Manning, are you alright, she asks as she takes his pulse. I was, he answers. She checks the monitor. Mr. Manning you know you are supposed to avoid any stress inducing activities. I didn't know that kissing was stressful, says Todd. Nurse Webber is now checking his blood pressure. Well, she says, kissing can be a stress reliever, but when you're kissing and hooked up to this machine, it says your heart is pounding really fast and hard. So I'm having a heart attack, asks Todd. No, says Nurse Webber, to me that says you are doing a great job with the kissing. She smiles at me. I feel I am blushing. So can we keep making out then, asks Todd. Well Mr. Manning, if you do that I'm afraid a nurse is going to run in here every time and spoil the fun, so I'm thinking that's it for the make out session. Todd drops his head back against his pillow, damn and it was getting really good. Well then thank goodness I came in here, says Nurse Webber, that machine would have exploded and do you know how much those things cost to replace? I would have bought a new one, says Todd. And what about your heart Mr. Manning, that would have exploded as well, she says. Todd looks at me and smiles, yeah, but what a way to go. Nurse Webber smiles at us both, I smile back. Thank you, I say. As she is walking out she turns and says, now you two, keep your hands to yourselves and no more kissing as she makes air quotes. Let's wait and see what the doctor says and if he gives a thumbs up, then you both can go for it. Todd looks at me and pats the bed wanting me to resume our previous activity. No Todd, you heard the nurse, we have to wait and see what the doctor says. Oh I see, the party pooper is back, he says. I guess I am. It was so good, he says, you felt so good. You don't know how I have missed you. I missed you too, I say. He lays back and closes his eyes, I think I'm going to try and sleep a little, I never thought serious lip lock would wear me out. Yes, you need to rest I say, I cover him and he turns on his side. I sit in the chair and look out of the window.

This was just kissing, and even though it felt good and it felt right, what was going to happen when the time comes. When Todd will want more thinking all is forgotten. Will I be able to give myself to him without flashing back to that horrible night. I have to be honest, while we were kissing, I was yearning for more. But when that time does arrive, and it will, will I be able to let myself go. Why worry about it now? I will worry about it then.

Todd is sleeping. I think back to the conversation I had with Commissioner Devane. Dante Falconeri's name comes to mind. The husband of Lulu. She shot Johnny. She is part owner of The Haunted Star. The wheels in my mind begin to turn. I take my phone from my bag and begin to search the internet for any information on Lulu, Johnny and The Haunted Star. I find what I am looking for. Lulu owns controlling interest in the club. I smile to myself. I think it is time I pay Mrs. Falconeri a visit. Later that afternoon Starr returns to visit with her father. I tell her that I have to attend a very important meeting.

I have found the Falconeri's loft apartment. I knock. I have taken a chance that they will be home. The door opens and I am standing face to face with Lulu. I introduce myself and tell her that I would like to talk business with her and that it concerns Johnny Zacchara. She invites me in. So Mrs. Manning, what is this business matter you wanted to discuss and how does it involve Johnny? Mrs. Falconeri, you shot the man for a reason, why on earth would you still want to be in business with him? Lulu is silent. Has Johnny made an offer to buy you out, I ask. No he has not, she answers. Just then the door opens and in walks Lulu's husband Dante. Lulu introduces us. We sit. Well I say, let me just get straight to the point. I would like to buy your part ownership of The Haunted Star. Lulu's eyes widen, she and Dante look at one another. I continue, I know Mrs. Falconeri that you are facing a trial soon and I am so sorry about that. But I know attorneys fees cost a pretty penny, tell me how are you handling that matter? It's draining us, answers Lulu, but we can handle it. Besides, she says, my club is not for sale and even if it was, why would I sell to you? I remember you and my cousin Carly having run ins and your husband Todd hurt her as well. Yes I say, it's true, that was such a long time ago and it was unfortunate, but I was hoping we could see past that and just keep this business. I continue, it must cost quite a bit to keep the club running, paying your rent and of course as I mentioned before, paying the attorneys fees. Is Johnny footing the bill for everything at the club? For your information, Lulu says, he is, and Dantes father has offered to help us pay for the lawyer. Isn't your father Sonny Corinthos, I ask Dante. Yes he is, he answers. I smile, so you are taking his money for attorneys, money I'm sure he came by legally, I say sarcastically. We don't want to take his money, says Dante, but we have no other choice. Oh but you do, I say. I am prepared to make you a most generous offer for your half of the club. I write a dollar amount down and give it to the couple. Both Dante and Lulu's eye widen this time. So you see, I continue, you could pay your attorney, maybe even buy yourself a little place to live, that is if you are found innocent. Lulu shakes her head, I'm sorry Mrs. Manning but we have to decline your offer. Dante looks at her with surprise. I can't sell. My mother and father gave me that boat and I could not part with it. Alright, I say as I stand, I give her my card. If you change your mind just call me, but just keep in mind my offer. I smile and walk out of their door. Thinking back on how I sounded when dealing with them, it occurred to me that I was channeling Todd. I guess to some degree that isn't so bad. I leave feeling confident that these two will bite.


	36. Chapter 36

When I arrive back in Todd's hospital room, I am surprised to see that he is still sleeping. Starr has nodded off as well on the small couch that is in the room. I don't want to wake either of them so I sit in the chair and set my phone to vibrate, just in case the Falconeri's call. I put my head back on the head rest and close my eyes. A few minutes later I hear Todd's voice. I look at him, he is still asleep but mumbling. He begins to toss his head from side to side. Not the nightmares again. I know not to wake him. I catch every other word that he is saying. Johnny...granddaughter...she can't know...killed...Starr. It doesn't make sense of course. Is he dreaming about the fight with Johnny? Is he dreaming of his grand baby Hope and how she died? Is he dreaming about Starr losing her? But what did he mean when he said she can't know? I walk to his bedside quietly. He is sweating and still tossing. He has stopped mumbling. Then he is still, and sleeping soundly again. I turn to head back to the chair and see Starr sitting up with a frightened look on her face. I heard everything dad said, what is he talking about? What's wrong with him? I go to her, ssshhh, I take her by the hand and out of Todd's room. Dee why is my dad saying all those weird things? The look on her face is desperate. Starr it could be any number of things. You know he has been having nightmares for a long while now due to his PTSD. It may also be the medications he is on. The stress from what happened between he and Johnny, our fight, his suicide attempt, and of course almost being killed in Shady Brook. Starr shuts her eyes, so many things, she says. Why can't my dad just have one day of happiness, why? I hug her, he will Starr. One day he will be happy.

Starr decides to go back the penthouse. I don't want her to drive because she is so upset about her father. She has never witnessed his nightmares, she has only heard about them. He truly frightened his daughter. I have Todd's driver pick her up and take her home. I go back into his room. He is still sleeping. I sit back down and just watch him. Why was this man dealt this card in life? To be miserable from day one. Was Todd right, is there a Lord Family curse? He was given two sets of parents. Victor Lord Sr. and Irene Manning, his biological parents. And his adoptive parents, Peter Manning, Irene's cousin and his wife Bitsy. Victor Sr. was a horrible man, he had done the most wicked things, but the most horrible was his sexual abuse of his daughter Viki, Todd's beloved big sister. And then Irene, Viki's best friend in college, who had an affair with Victor Sr. and bearing three of his children. Tina and twins Victor Jr. and Thomas. She kept Tina, for a while anyway. She kept Victor Jr. because she felt he was weak and needed her, but she gave Thomas away. And many years later this awful woman would steal away eight precious years of his life. Peter Manning was another horrible human being and treated Thomas like dirt even as a child. All Thomas wanted was to please his father and have his love and approval, but he could never seem to attain it. Peter abused this little boy and this child became the angry and self loathing person we see today. The only time he felt loved was with his adoptive mother Bitsy. She adored him and he her. But one day Bitsy decided she could no longer stand her husband's abuse of her and left. She left Thomas with this monster. This little boy begged and pleaded for her to take him with her, but no, she left him, causing even more anger. All these things turning him into the terror and bully he became. He became Todd. I have always suspected that something more besides the physical abuse happened between Todd and Peter, but even though Todd had told me this whole story, he would almost want to say what happened. Something would always make him stop short. Maybe one day he will be able to trust me enough to tell me. If it is what I am thinking, I would completely understand and not think any less of him having gone through it myself with my own monster of a father. The words Starr and I spoke earlier are echoing in my mind. Why can't my dad have just have one day of happiness? I get up and walk to Todd's bedside. He said before that I made him happy. I guess for Todd it comes in bits and pieces. I look down upon his sleeping peaceful face, we have to get past what happened between us. It will not be easy, but I want to make him truly happy. I lean over and kiss his beautiful warm lips, his eyes open. You heard what the nurse said, he says softly, no more making out. I smile down at him, does my kiss make you happy? You know it does, he answers. Then damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, I say, as I plant another deep kiss on him. His arms wrap around me, the machine is beeping like crazy but we don't care, we are happy, even if it is only for a little while.

Commissioner Devane has visited Todd. She asked more questions. They have watched the surveillance tape from Shady Brook and see the would be murderer. He is wearing a hood and his face cannot be seen. How did this person get in without being seen, where was security? Todd is much more at ease with Ms. Devane. I can tell that she does not care too much for my husband, but at least she isn't as blatant about it as John McBain is. Todd is actually somewhat fascinated by her having always dealt with the likes of Police Commissioner Bo Buchanan back in Llanview. It's obvious Todd prefers the female version and he loves her accent. The day has arrived. Dr. Webber says that Todd can be released from General Hospital. He will have to take it easy and cannot return to work at The Sun just yet. He will be taking his medications, for his heart, his anxiety and depression. Both Dr.'s Webber and Campbell have modified the doses so that they will not be a danger when taken together and that they will also not counteract one another. Todd will not be going back to Shady Brook. He can finally come home. At the moment he is arguing with Epiphany because he doesn't want to be taken out by wheelchair. Get in this chair right now Mr. Manning, she says. Who's gonna make me, he says seriously. She walks toward him and gets right up in his face, I am. She grabs him by his ear and pulls him to the chair. He looks at me just standing there watching and laughing. A little help here, he says. Hey sorry, I say, you're on your own. She plops Todd down in the chair. Todd rubs his ear and frowns, you big bully. Epiphany begins to wheel him out, just then Nurse Webber appears at the door, Mr. Manning before you leave I have something for you. What is it, he asks. She hands him a little gift bag. It's a year's supply of lip balm, for all that kissing you and Mrs. Manning will no doubt be doing. He looks at Epiphany and then at me, at least someone around here is nice. Nurse Webber smiles at me, good luck Mrs. Manning, he is all yours now. As we are leaving, I actually hear one of the other nurses exclaim, yay Mr. Manning is leaving, and I hear cheering. Epiphany is laughing, you hear that Mr. Manning, it's your fan club, NOT. Ha ha, very funny, Todd says. Todd's driver has pulled the limo to the door. Todd wanted his limo because he wanted a roomy ride home. As Todd stands to get in, he turns to Epiphany, I know I gave you a hard time, but it's only because I like you. Well I hate to see how you treat the people you don't like, she says. Todd smiles. She smiles back at him, I must admit you kept me on my toes. You know you're going to miss me, says Todd. I don't know about that, says Epiphany. Yeah you will, he says with a sly smile, because you're in love with me, remember? Thanks for reminding me, she says, as she rolls her eyes, now get in that fancy car and go home and I don't want to see you in this hospital again. Todd gets in the limo. Thank you so much Epiphany, I say as I give her a hug. She hugs me back. Good luck Mrs. Manning and take care of that husband of yours and please try and keep him out of trouble. Easier said than done, I say, but I will try my damndest.

On the ride home Todd is looking out of the window like a fascinated little child. Wow, he says, I never thought I would miss just riding and seeing everything. It's been so long. He is holding my hand. I guess we take things for granted, I say. Things and people, he replies. He looks at me, I am so lucky to have you in my life, I would be totally lost if it weren't for you. You have me and Starr, I say. Starr goes without saying, he says, I couldn't bare it if she were to ever turn her back on me. I mean she has before, but somehow we work it out and she ends up back in my corner. But I am afraid that this time... Todd stops in midsentence. You're afraid that this time what, I ask. Todd shakes his head, nothing, I'm just tired, I don't even know what I'm saying. He turns his head and looks back out of the window. Todd was about to say something, but what? My thoughts go back to his nightmare in the hospital, he mentioned Starr's name and said she can't know. Is he talking about me or his daughter? If only I could see into his head and unleash all his secrets. I am sure I would be frightened. Finally we arrive home. One of Todd's security team greets him as he opens Todd's door, hello Mr. Manning, it's good to have you back. Thank you, says Todd. He steps out of the limo, he takes a deep breath and looks up at his building, Manning Enterprises, he says, it's so good to see those giant words. He looks at me and smiles as I take his hand. We enter through our private entrance and take the elevator up to the penthouse.

I open the door, after you, as I motion to Todd. Age before beauty, I say. He looks at me, and here I always thought I was the beauty, he says as he walks in. Surprise, he hears Starr exclaim. The living room is filled with colored balloons. There is a banner saying Welcome Home. He looks around with a big smile on his face. Starr goes to him and hugs him tightly. His arms wrap around her, he shuts his eyes as he rests his chin on top of her head. I am so glad you're home, says Starr. I am so glad to be home, says Todd. I stand back and watch them. I wish I could have had that with my daughter, she is out there somewhere, maybe hugging her mother. If I hadn't of been so young and foolish, she could be here hugging me.

We spend the rest of the day just talking and actually laughing. Evening has fallen. Starr says she is going out for a while. As I am in the kitchen cleaning up a bit, I hear pop, pop, pop. I go into the living room and see Todd popping his welcome home balloons with a pin. What are you doing, I ask. I'm helping you clean up, he says, as he continues to pop. Well now I'll have to pick up all that balloon mess off the floor, I say. Oh, says Todd, I hadn't thought of that. Obviously not, just leave them up, I love the way they look and all the bright colors. Okay, he says as he yawns, well, I'm pretty tired, I guess we should head upstairs. Is this it, I think to myself, what to do. Todd walks to the stairs and gazes up at them. I never realized how many steps there are, I hope I can make it up without losing my breath. Todd why don't you sleep down here in the maid's bedroom? Todd had the builders put in a maid's room with the intention of having a one, but I couldn't be comfortable with that. I could handle things around the penthouse myself so far. No, he says, I have to try, if I don't do it now, I never will. I turn the lights off and we start up the stairs. I take his hand and we ascend slowly. He stops half way and takes a deep breath. Then we start again. Finally we reach the top. Todd stops, looks at me and smiles, see, piece of cake. We walk to our bedroom door, Todd walks in. I just stand in the doorway. I had only been in that bedroom once after that horrible night and that was to move my clothes and personal belongings into another bedroom. Starr had cleaned the room and made it ready for her father's return. Todd turns and looks at me confused, what are you doing out there? I hesitate a bit, then I answer. I'm sorry Todd, I just can't go in there. What, he says, with surprise. I begin to nod my head, I can't Todd and I take a step back. He walks towards me, Dee, please it's over, I'm sorry, I... I put my hand up and stop him in midsentence, please Todd, don't apologize anymore. You have to understand, I need time, I just need time. Todd has a look of confusion on his face as he speaks, but in the hospital, you kissed me, you kissed me a lot, and you said you loved me. I do Todd, I do love you and I did kiss you. Every kiss I gave you was real and from the heart, but I just can't go any further than a kiss right now, if you love me, you have to understand. I promise I won't try anything, says Todd. It's not that, I say, I just can't. You're still afraid of me, he says in a broken voice. No, I say, but my mind sometimes keeps rewinding to that night and I can't make it stop, I want to be with you Todd, but please let me work through this. Alright, he says, take all the time you need. Can I at least walk you to your bedroom? I give him a small smile, sure. Outside of my bedroom door, I turn to Todd. Thank you, I say as I touch his scarred cheek. He closes his eyes and leans his face into my palm. I love you Dee, he says. I love you too, I say, and I kiss him very lightly on the lips, he lets out a little sigh. Goodnight Todd. I close the door. I lean my forehead against the door and run my hands over it as if touching him. Little do I know that Todd is on the other side doing the exact same thing.


End file.
